(no subject)
NOT GONNA LIE, IT'S LATE AND I AM JUST RAMBLING.
So, that plot! That plot! A million and one props to Hakuren for such an excellent time. ♥
So, Akito has a lot of issues with Akira! He told her since she was very small that she was God and she was meant to be loved by everyone. He's the one who instilled that truth in her head. Granted, everyone in the household was probably saying that, but he was the hammer that hit it home to Akito. The problem with that was, yeah, it gave her a weird complex and didn't exacerbate the issues that later cropped up with the bonds. But, really, he gave her a second truth that conflicted with the first: Before she was God, she was supposed to be proof of his love for Ren.
N-Now, Akito and Ren have always mixed badly. When she's a kid, Akito generally ignores her, because she is a crazy bitch, whatever. I mean, Freud would have expected for Akito to latch onto her father to make Ren even more jealous and fuck with her head. But it's never shown; it is very noticeably absent considering Akito always has very strong hints about being violent and cruel even when it's not shown. Akito only starts fighting with Ren after Akira dies. He set up his wife and daughter to be at each other's throats on accident. WELL DONE, TEAM. Not only that but he undermines the fact that she was born to be loved . . . Ren ignored her, yes, but Akito took second stage to her which conflicts with the belief that Akito ends up living and breathing through the series.
Flash forward, Akito has broken the bonds, but she's still missing a lot of components that happened in canon. Tohru isn't there to extend a hand, Ren continues to be an issue, and . . . She still has that box. The first thought she had on destroying the bonds is not, "I'm going to be alone," but "Father, forgive me." Even after he's dead, Akira still has an odd place in Akito's mind. She was half-certain whether the box actually had anything in it, but without that, it's still extremely important to her. It's what she uses to focus with, to vent at, and to persecute herself with. The Akira in her mind is long, long distanced from the father that she knew when she was young. So, she's been holding onto it since the bonds broke, because it's how Akito knows how to cope! Some people talk with other people or get counseling, Akito talks to a box. It's how it goes.
Funnily enough, it's that Akira ala camp was so different from the Akira that Akito has created in her mind that she could accept that it was him. She understands that he might not have been, but Akira would have said something similar as far as Akito knows, she hopes at least, so she will hold it as his word. So, in essence, Akito got to talk with Akira which strips her of any verbal sparring or double meanings. Akito was so straight-forward that it was jarring. But she was able to get out the anger she had at him for setting her up like he did and was accepted for how she is now which means so much to Akito. She rarely seeks for others to approve of her, but she will always take disappointment in her strongly, even from strangers. (This is why Mitsuru did a lot in only two threads.) More than expressing herself, Akito was able to understand and forgive the fact that her father chose Ren over her. While it would be easy to say that she understood his position by refusing to go because of Shigure . . . Well, that's just not true. Shigure was second candle to the fact that Akito couldn't delude herself as far as going with a father that has been dead as much as she didn't want him to be. Talking to a box? Easy. Believing that everyone should love her? Also, easy. Going back on an undeniable truth? Not so much.
So, this episode cleaned up a whole lot that was left hanging for Akito! How much I'm not sure yet as I find these things out in play, but she will at least bury/burn the box and feel better in Akira's general direction which is a big thing for a daddy's girl.
So, that plot! That plot! A million and one props to Hakuren for such an excellent time. ♥
So, Akito has a lot of issues with Akira! He told her since she was very small that she was God and she was meant to be loved by everyone. He's the one who instilled that truth in her head. Granted, everyone in the household was probably saying that, but he was the hammer that hit it home to Akito. The problem with that was, yeah, it gave her a weird complex and didn't exacerbate the issues that later cropped up with the bonds. But, really, he gave her a second truth that conflicted with the first: Before she was God, she was supposed to be proof of his love for Ren.
N-Now, Akito and Ren have always mixed badly. When she's a kid, Akito generally ignores her, because she is a crazy bitch, whatever. I mean, Freud would have expected for Akito to latch onto her father to make Ren even more jealous and fuck with her head. But it's never shown; it is very noticeably absent considering Akito always has very strong hints about being violent and cruel even when it's not shown. Akito only starts fighting with Ren after Akira dies. He set up his wife and daughter to be at each other's throats on accident. WELL DONE, TEAM. Not only that but he undermines the fact that she was born to be loved . . . Ren ignored her, yes, but Akito took second stage to her which conflicts with the belief that Akito ends up living and breathing through the series.
Flash forward, Akito has broken the bonds, but she's still missing a lot of components that happened in canon. Tohru isn't there to extend a hand, Ren continues to be an issue, and . . . She still has that box. The first thought she had on destroying the bonds is not, "I'm going to be alone," but "Father, forgive me." Even after he's dead, Akira still has an odd place in Akito's mind. She was half-certain whether the box actually had anything in it, but without that, it's still extremely important to her. It's what she uses to focus with, to vent at, and to persecute herself with. The Akira in her mind is long, long distanced from the father that she knew when she was young. So, she's been holding onto it since the bonds broke, because it's how Akito knows how to cope! Some people talk with other people or get counseling, Akito talks to a box. It's how it goes.
Funnily enough, it's that Akira ala camp was so different from the Akira that Akito has created in her mind that she could accept that it was him. She understands that he might not have been, but Akira would have said something similar as far as Akito knows, she hopes at least, so she will hold it as his word. So, in essence, Akito got to talk with Akira which strips her of any verbal sparring or double meanings. Akito was so straight-forward that it was jarring. But she was able to get out the anger she had at him for setting her up like he did and was accepted for how she is now which means so much to Akito. She rarely seeks for others to approve of her, but she will always take disappointment in her strongly, even from strangers. (This is why Mitsuru did a lot in only two threads.) More than expressing herself, Akito was able to understand and forgive the fact that her father chose Ren over her. While it would be easy to say that she understood his position by refusing to go because of Shigure . . . Well, that's just not true. Shigure was second candle to the fact that Akito couldn't delude herself as far as going with a father that has been dead as much as she didn't want him to be. Talking to a box? Easy. Believing that everyone should love her? Also, easy. Going back on an undeniable truth? Not so much.
So, this episode cleaned up a whole lot that was left hanging for Akito! How much I'm not sure yet as I find these things out in play, but she will at least bury/burn the box and feel better in Akira's general direction which is a big thing for a daddy's girl.