Jul 23, 2011 02:04
Number 6 in my 30 entries in 30 days project: The Wrath
i wish i had it in me to lash out and scream. i wish i had it in me to say something that "isn't me." i wish i could be someone else and write a swear-riddled, passionate, anger-filled entry about my confusion, irritation, and lust for some semblance of self-satisfaction. i wish i had it in me to call out the person who caused this frustration and tell literally everyone who reads this who this entry is about. here's where choice meets who i am: i could, and i can. but i won't. i won't because i believe that i earn what i get. i reap what i sow. and right now, i believe i'm sowing a lot.
every day i feel that urge inside me to be someone else, to forget who i am, and to do something uncharacteristic. but i won't.
guess what, its not going to happen. because that's NOT me. say what you want about me, but i'm not a jerk or selfish, and i cannot act like a jerk or act selfishly here. to be someone else and to do something uncharacteristic of me would be both mean and selfish.
it'll come around. i promise. and for you, thats not a good thing, not a good thing at all.
deuces.
steve