whatever
*sigh* I don't even know what to say tonight. I'm alive but that's about it. The 4th was great, I didn't have to spend it alone. Yanno, sometimes in life, there comes things we all must do, no matter how much it hurts us, or the ones we love. We do them, not because we want to, but because sometimes we, have to. Now, before some of you start reading to much into this, yes I am depressed again, no I'm not suicidal, but thank you for caring, I appreciate it a lot. Sometimes, people, we love aren't good for us anymore, they bring you down, and that's not someone who loves you. Knowing this isn't that hard to do, it's ending it that's the hard part, and it hurts like you can't imagine.
Alone, that in itself is a harsh word nobody wants to face. Nobody is ever really alone, but you can be surrounded by people and still feel that way. It's hard, being alone after not being alone for so long. Sleeping alone, eating alone, smoking alone, everything that you once did with someone else, you now do by yourself. I don't care what anyone says, sleeping alone is the worst. Sex, yeah who doesn't miss that, but it's the intimacy of having someone else pressed up against you, wrapped in your arms, trusting you to keep them safe when they are the most vulnerable. Now you lay alone, staring up at the ceiling, nothing to do but think, and miss it, and realize how alone you are, it hurts.
Yet as much as it hurts, it's better for you in the end, because it's what must be, for your own sake.
Alone, that in itself is a harsh word nobody wants to face. Nobody is ever really alone, but you can be surrounded by people and still feel that way. It's hard, being alone after not being alone for so long. Sleeping alone, eating alone, smoking alone, everything that you once did with someone else, you now do by yourself. I don't care what anyone says, sleeping alone is the worst. Sex, yeah who doesn't miss that, but it's the intimacy of having someone else pressed up against you, wrapped in your arms, trusting you to keep them safe when they are the most vulnerable. Now you lay alone, staring up at the ceiling, nothing to do but think, and miss it, and realize how alone you are, it hurts.
Yet as much as it hurts, it's better for you in the end, because it's what must be, for your own sake.