*sigh*
Yanno, I think I finall figured it out. I don't want to live, I've known that for years, I'm tired, I don't want to go on. I'm to afraid to end it myself, I never will do something like that. I go on because I have no other choice. I'm to weak to end it all, I just want it over. I love my son, and I know he'll be better off with my parents, and at least at this age, he won't have to know how weak his daddy was. He loves my parents they would raise him right. I just can't do it though, I can't take my own life. There is so much more to see, so many more lives I haven't changed yet. When I die, if it's an hour, or 50 years from now, I will never be forgotten by anyone that I have ever met, I can take solice in that. I love my friends, I love my family, but I don't even like myself.