(no subject)
Today, I ate great sushi. I saw Shrek 2 with some friends. With those same friends, I went into Fredrick's of Hollywood and watched the purchase of a "bananna-hammock." My day was interesting to say the least.
This feels like my.... pseduo-senior year, with moving and all. Minus the crazy senior stuff, and the knowledge that these are the people that I will forever hold at least one endless bond with: being in the same graduating class. We're all the class of 2006, but, I mean, it's not the same. I won't go to the same renunions, or share the same (complete) memories of highschool with them. I'll have two years of pricelss memories-- ones I wouldn't trade for the world. And I know I'll have just as great memories graduating from West Morris Central High School, but, I'll always have split memories: ones of my first and second highschool, and ones of my third.
But, I shouldn't be complaining. There are many more people out there who have it much worse off. Much. Over the weekend, and even today, my feelings toward certain people changed drastically. I'm slowly realizing the difference between what I want and what I need and what I honestly deserve. And not to sound, in anyway, high on myself, but, I have a pretty good idea of what I deserve emotionally, and whatnot. And she isn't it. If she isn't able to appreciate that caring and understanding I always treat her with, and if she doesn't care enough about me to at least call me when I told I needed to discuss something important.... I know I don't deserve being taken for granted like that. And, I hope she realizes what she lost when I'm gone. That may sound mean, or concieted, but she needs a wake up call. If not from me, from something else. She really needs one.
Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe I'm just angry she never chose me. I don't think that's it. I'll always be confused on why she never chose me. Maybe it should be like that. I don't need to know. I didn't do anything wrong. I opened myself to her, and though she said she did to me, I know she didn't... completely. And that really hurt me.
I'm pitting myself. I need to get over this. This is way to highschool.
New Subject:
I will be at Hilton Head from Friday, until Monday. So, gimme a call if you want. But, I won't be 'round L'ville all weekend. That's what I think I need: A chance to go out of town, get my mind out of this crap, look at some beautiful women in very little clothing and RELAX. That's exaclty what I need.
Tommy's pool party= WOO-HOO! Cannot wait.
See everyone there!
This feels like my.... pseduo-senior year, with moving and all. Minus the crazy senior stuff, and the knowledge that these are the people that I will forever hold at least one endless bond with: being in the same graduating class. We're all the class of 2006, but, I mean, it's not the same. I won't go to the same renunions, or share the same (complete) memories of highschool with them. I'll have two years of pricelss memories-- ones I wouldn't trade for the world. And I know I'll have just as great memories graduating from West Morris Central High School, but, I'll always have split memories: ones of my first and second highschool, and ones of my third.
But, I shouldn't be complaining. There are many more people out there who have it much worse off. Much. Over the weekend, and even today, my feelings toward certain people changed drastically. I'm slowly realizing the difference between what I want and what I need and what I honestly deserve. And not to sound, in anyway, high on myself, but, I have a pretty good idea of what I deserve emotionally, and whatnot. And she isn't it. If she isn't able to appreciate that caring and understanding I always treat her with, and if she doesn't care enough about me to at least call me when I told I needed to discuss something important.... I know I don't deserve being taken for granted like that. And, I hope she realizes what she lost when I'm gone. That may sound mean, or concieted, but she needs a wake up call. If not from me, from something else. She really needs one.
Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe I'm just angry she never chose me. I don't think that's it. I'll always be confused on why she never chose me. Maybe it should be like that. I don't need to know. I didn't do anything wrong. I opened myself to her, and though she said she did to me, I know she didn't... completely. And that really hurt me.
I'm pitting myself. I need to get over this. This is way to highschool.
New Subject:
I will be at Hilton Head from Friday, until Monday. So, gimme a call if you want. But, I won't be 'round L'ville all weekend. That's what I think I need: A chance to go out of town, get my mind out of this crap, look at some beautiful women in very little clothing and RELAX. That's exaclty what I need.
Tommy's pool party= WOO-HOO! Cannot wait.
See everyone there!