Update: moving, relationships, new job, new major and a NEW poem
They say that April showers bring May flowers. I sure fucking hope the mages of cliche sayings are right. At least in a figurative sense. I have terrible allergies so the last thing I need is more pollen floating around.
I made more drastic changes in my life for a variety of reasons. Some I will not voice on this blog, but they will be eluded to between the lines. I have been searching for normalcy for a long time now, shoving myself into what I considered to be "normal" groups of college students and "normal" living situations. What I have come to find is that I don't LIKE normal. It's boring and safe and easy. It's unproductive, unfulfilling, and overwhelming. I have never fallen into the "normal" category and I never fucking will--at least, I hope not.
With normal comes lies and hypocrisy. Shit-talking and backstabbing. Did I mention lies? Deceit? I don't have a thesaraus in fornt of me, or I'd add a few more synonyms to the list. Normal is superficial. Normal people dance and drink in designer clothes. They have condesending smiles that spew gallons of bullshit every minute of every hour of every day. Instead of learning about their enviornment, normal people stuff everyone and everything around them into color coded boxes. Normal is stupid. Stupid, dumb, idiotic. I didn't even need a thesarus for that one.
I threw normalcy out the window when I discovered its true definition. Instead, I focus on what comes to me naturally: Reading, writing, thinking, theorizing, laughter, wit, organizing. Isolated extrovertism at its finest. I don't expect normal people to understand. People that do understand stick around longer; and they're going somewhere in life. We're traveling together on a train of personal success that no amount of money or bad music or liquor could ever fuel.
Do you get it?
I moved to my dad's for one day before his girlfriend/wife (what-the-fuck-ever) decided it was 'too much' for her. Now I'm at my mom's until May. I have a wonderful place to move into on the first, so it's definitely worth the wait. I rented a storage unit in San Jose, so all of my stuff will be ready for me in May. All I really need in life is clothes and an internet connection, so I'll be fine. Loki seems to be doing well too. He has not made ONE accident here. I think that says something about how dirty my old place was. Anyway, this isn't so bad for a month. Morgan Hill kind of depresses me, but I think it's because I miss the friends I made here.
I've also been seeing someone for over a year. Longest I've ever consistantly dated someone, so that's interesting. Although, I never refer to it as 'dating'. We're 'seeing eachother' which is more than just 'fucking', apperantly. Which is fine by me, a year is quite an investment in someone. Not a 'lolmarriage<3' investment, but definitely something worth earned intrest. After a year, your 'boyfriend' should be able to call someone (me) his 'girlfriend' in public. Weird how this shit works out.
So, I've moved. I'm better off because of it. I recently got an on staff Stage Manager position at The Western Stage in Salinas. I've been meaning to get back into theater, so this is the perfect opportunity. I absoloutly loved it in high school; it was the only reason I have fond memories of high school. Now, I'll be getting paid ($1400/mo salary max 30hr a week) for doing something I love. Not a bad deal.
As some of you know, I'm changed my major from Political Science to English with a concentrating in Creative Writing. I'm still keeping the second major of Radio, TV, Theater, Film with a concentration in Theater and Radio Production. I dropped Political Science because it is incredibly depressing, and I can not support a system I don't believe in with my education. Besides, writing is way more fun, and it's one of the few talents I have.
------------------------------
Onions
I carry a bag full of onions,
Purple and yellow and red-
So taunting with bitter-sweetness,
Crispy clean beneath skin very dead.
The purples are sappy and soft,
Isolated, aloof, and alone-
Tasting so safe and so dull,
Unable to stand on their own.
Yellows are choking with strength,
Awesome and powerful and great-
Forcing every tongue to submit,
To accept a dark dismal fate.
Reds are carefully crafted,
Racy and luscious and lewd-
Mouths oh-so wet to invite,
Thoughts so improper and crude.
I pour out my bag full of onions,
The layers so flaky and dry,
Wondering which eat first,
Knowing each one makes me cry.
I made more drastic changes in my life for a variety of reasons. Some I will not voice on this blog, but they will be eluded to between the lines. I have been searching for normalcy for a long time now, shoving myself into what I considered to be "normal" groups of college students and "normal" living situations. What I have come to find is that I don't LIKE normal. It's boring and safe and easy. It's unproductive, unfulfilling, and overwhelming. I have never fallen into the "normal" category and I never fucking will--at least, I hope not.
With normal comes lies and hypocrisy. Shit-talking and backstabbing. Did I mention lies? Deceit? I don't have a thesaraus in fornt of me, or I'd add a few more synonyms to the list. Normal is superficial. Normal people dance and drink in designer clothes. They have condesending smiles that spew gallons of bullshit every minute of every hour of every day. Instead of learning about their enviornment, normal people stuff everyone and everything around them into color coded boxes. Normal is stupid. Stupid, dumb, idiotic. I didn't even need a thesarus for that one.
I threw normalcy out the window when I discovered its true definition. Instead, I focus on what comes to me naturally: Reading, writing, thinking, theorizing, laughter, wit, organizing. Isolated extrovertism at its finest. I don't expect normal people to understand. People that do understand stick around longer; and they're going somewhere in life. We're traveling together on a train of personal success that no amount of money or bad music or liquor could ever fuel.
Do you get it?
I moved to my dad's for one day before his girlfriend/wife (what-the-fuck-ever) decided it was 'too much' for her. Now I'm at my mom's until May. I have a wonderful place to move into on the first, so it's definitely worth the wait. I rented a storage unit in San Jose, so all of my stuff will be ready for me in May. All I really need in life is clothes and an internet connection, so I'll be fine. Loki seems to be doing well too. He has not made ONE accident here. I think that says something about how dirty my old place was. Anyway, this isn't so bad for a month. Morgan Hill kind of depresses me, but I think it's because I miss the friends I made here.
I've also been seeing someone for over a year. Longest I've ever consistantly dated someone, so that's interesting. Although, I never refer to it as 'dating'. We're 'seeing eachother' which is more than just 'fucking', apperantly. Which is fine by me, a year is quite an investment in someone. Not a 'lolmarriage<3' investment, but definitely something worth earned intrest. After a year, your 'boyfriend' should be able to call someone (me) his 'girlfriend' in public. Weird how this shit works out.
So, I've moved. I'm better off because of it. I recently got an on staff Stage Manager position at The Western Stage in Salinas. I've been meaning to get back into theater, so this is the perfect opportunity. I absoloutly loved it in high school; it was the only reason I have fond memories of high school. Now, I'll be getting paid ($1400/mo salary max 30hr a week) for doing something I love. Not a bad deal.
As some of you know, I'm changed my major from Political Science to English with a concentrating in Creative Writing. I'm still keeping the second major of Radio, TV, Theater, Film with a concentration in Theater and Radio Production. I dropped Political Science because it is incredibly depressing, and I can not support a system I don't believe in with my education. Besides, writing is way more fun, and it's one of the few talents I have.
------------------------------
Onions
I carry a bag full of onions,
Purple and yellow and red-
So taunting with bitter-sweetness,
Crispy clean beneath skin very dead.
The purples are sappy and soft,
Isolated, aloof, and alone-
Tasting so safe and so dull,
Unable to stand on their own.
Yellows are choking with strength,
Awesome and powerful and great-
Forcing every tongue to submit,
To accept a dark dismal fate.
Reds are carefully crafted,
Racy and luscious and lewd-
Mouths oh-so wet to invite,
Thoughts so improper and crude.
I pour out my bag full of onions,
The layers so flaky and dry,
Wondering which eat first,
Knowing each one makes me cry.