Forward?
Well, it is official... my X has started an intimate relationship with another. Thursday all was as before, but today my universe shifted. This sudden change in our relationship from "best friends with benefits" to X lovers has left me feeling discombobulated.
I knew this day would come, but a part of me still hoped it would not... and I think that is human.
As I tried to fall asleep earlier tonight, my thoughts wandered back over my life and the different paths I have chosen. I realized that though out my whole life, there has only been 3 people I was ever interested in pursuing a relationship with. Don't get me wrong, I have found plenty of girls and women attractive... but I can only think of 3 that I wanted to try to blend my life with. Does this make me picky? Unlucky? Maybe just obtuse? I am not sure.
Part of me hopes I will find a new interest in the future; Part of me wants to travel to China and fast on the steps of a Buddhist temple until I have an epiphany or become a monk.
For now, I face the loneliness and despair that surges forth every evening. I cry tears of joy for the love and experiences we shared, but I weep in sorrow at my new found isolation. The emptiness seemed easier to bear when I did not know its presence.
I knew this day would come, but a part of me still hoped it would not... and I think that is human.
As I tried to fall asleep earlier tonight, my thoughts wandered back over my life and the different paths I have chosen. I realized that though out my whole life, there has only been 3 people I was ever interested in pursuing a relationship with. Don't get me wrong, I have found plenty of girls and women attractive... but I can only think of 3 that I wanted to try to blend my life with. Does this make me picky? Unlucky? Maybe just obtuse? I am not sure.
Part of me hopes I will find a new interest in the future; Part of me wants to travel to China and fast on the steps of a Buddhist temple until I have an epiphany or become a monk.
For now, I face the loneliness and despair that surges forth every evening. I cry tears of joy for the love and experiences we shared, but I weep in sorrow at my new found isolation. The emptiness seemed easier to bear when I did not know its presence.