Raw Nerves...
I swear I am at my breaking point here in this house. My dear husband has been treading upon my raw and exposed nerves this month. I don't know why they are raw and exposed, they just are. My damn hormones are so fucking out of whack lately its not god-damned funny. Its pissing me off to no damn end.
Right now I'm still so angry over what happened today.
Today David was off from work and we had are tax papers ready to go to our accountant. Today was the perfect day for it and I wanted to do this in the morning so if there were problems we'd have all fucking day for it. So naturally we needed the car. Did he get his fucking ass up and take my mother to work? NO! He said we'd get a ride from his mother. Big mistake. It was 2:30 in the fucking afternoon when she called and said she'd be picking us up.
For more back story for this little tale:
I had to have all my invoices for Diane ( lets call her that ) so she can see clearly what is going and what my expenses for each campaign are. I had about 5 of them to print off. Our printer is on the fritz still so we had to go over to his [Hubby] mother's house and do the printing. This is why I'm mad. I don't know how freaking long it will take to do these 5 campaign's worth of invoices cause they cab be up to 10 pages long. Anyway while we were that he got nasty with me when I asked his mother to call Diane and ask about her hours and if we can pay tomorrow for her services. She's nice that way. Being family also helps... But that isn't the point.
The damn point was I had this day planned for weeks in advance. We'd go on a day when David got his W-2 and I had all the necessary paperwork too. I left no room for wiggle. I wanted this day to go off without a hitch. No of course David had to throw a fucking wrench into everything.
Why didn't I get out bed and off my lazy ass you ask?
I get up slowly, I always have. I wake up too slowly do that. Not to mention no one lets me go to sleep unless I bitch about it after I get up. Its always "Clean/Feed/Clothe/Change the baby!" Hell its like that all damn day.
We have been looking forward to doing this since December. Hell, since our Ford went out on us back in August before we found out Daniel. Why? Because we knew we couldn't get it fixed before then. We did manage to save some money but we had to spend it. Our checking account was dying ( almost in the red ).
I think I'm going to have to do my taxes every six months so we can have some money. Even if it is a piddling amount. If I was making at least 2k every campaign that would be awesome and I wouldn't be thinking of doing this. But I'm not. The economy won't support me that way. Plus there are too many Reps in the area. How some of these other ladies are making that I don't know. I wish I knew their secrets. Some I know buy a lot every campaign and sell as they go through the month. IE they buy a lot ahead of time and make their money that way. I can't fucking do that. I wish I could. That would be stupendous!
Anyway, I digress. David has just been a pain in the ass all damn month. One thing or another just sets me off. And its usually because of something he does. Or rather doesn't do. He knew it was very important to go today. At least for me. The sooner we our taxes done the sooner we can get our money and the sooner we can get the fuck out of here.
And that is the other thing. GODS!!!! We've been here too long. Things are getting *&%*&% over here.
My nerves can't take another fight. I was ready to walk home today from my mother-in-laws house. I would have but it was cold. And I called Icephoenix on her cell and we met at Hastings ( she also took me home, and I bumped into my brother-in-law and vented much spleen to them. You know, David wasn't always a fucking asshole. When we were dating everything was great. Now its like "What the fuck??" What is your motherfucking malfunction all of a sudden?? Did you do all those things just to get into my pants?? Hmm?
I am seriously one step away of just beating the living shit out him. Seriously. Its that bad. When you are constantly being held to an impossible standard like I think my mother is doing to me, its hard not to do it to someone else. Something had better give or someone is going to get laid flat, and I'll do it. I swear I will...
I'm so damn angry I can't even swallow my food without wanting to puke.