At A Crossroad Once Again.
So once again the subject of going back on BC came up between hubby and I last night. He wants me to stay off and I want to get back on for the usual things, regulate my period, lessen the cramps and the acne...Ugh, the acne! >.< Its still terrible and I have a feeling that if I don't get back on to at least keep it under control I will forever have this field of zits that has taken up what seems to be a now permanent residence on my chin. I would like them gone so I can wear my makeup without the fear of contaminating it with what ever bacteria is keeping the acne on my chin and face in the first place. Can't afford to throw out all the stuff I have. ( I've got at least over $60 worth of it )
Anyway, I really want to get back on it for at least a year. I am having a lot of issues getting pregnant. Issues I swore I wouldn't worry over, but I seem to be doing anyway. That and I'm tired of having that secret hope every month and crossing fingers when I'm a day or two late by an ovulation calculator and by my own calculations.
It's just making us just sad. Especially me. I really can't take this much more. Its killing me. And the depression that follows is...just adding to what is already bothering me and I'm especially tired of that as well.
What a fucking pickle.
I feel like a whiny bitch... * >.> *
Having more than one child shouldn't be this important. But for some reason it is for me, and David. My therapist once told me it was because in mine and David's mind we had our ideal family already and was just waiting for them to arrive. We even had names picked out for the boys and girls.
* shrugs * She may be right. And since we are having problems we are trying a little to hard to have that ideal family. And with things the way they are its making it difficult to fulfill that need/want.
Someone slap me and him back into reality please?
Anyway, I really want to get back on it for at least a year. I am having a lot of issues getting pregnant. Issues I swore I wouldn't worry over, but I seem to be doing anyway. That and I'm tired of having that secret hope every month and crossing fingers when I'm a day or two late by an ovulation calculator and by my own calculations.
It's just making us just sad. Especially me. I really can't take this much more. Its killing me. And the depression that follows is...just adding to what is already bothering me and I'm especially tired of that as well.
What a fucking pickle.
I feel like a whiny bitch... * >.> *
Having more than one child shouldn't be this important. But for some reason it is for me, and David. My therapist once told me it was because in mine and David's mind we had our ideal family already and was just waiting for them to arrive. We even had names picked out for the boys and girls.
* shrugs * She may be right. And since we are having problems we are trying a little to hard to have that ideal family. And with things the way they are its making it difficult to fulfill that need/want.
Someone slap me and him back into reality please?