Things Not to Say to Unemployed People
Really, just...think before you speak. Unless you know someplace that just started hiring and you want to tell me about it, I've probably heard it before.
"Well, everything happens for a reason!"
Wow thanks for that! I somehow made it to my mid-thirties without realizing that we live in a universe of cause and effect!
"Think of it as an opportunity!"
To...do what? If your immediate response is 'travel!' I present unto you three problems: I don't currently have an income with which to travel; if you mean out of the country, I don't have a passport, nor spare cash with which to acquire one; I'm collecting EI which means I can't leave the province unless I'm doing so to actively look for work, or there's a family emergency of some kind.
Besides, if you think being unemployed is some kind of grand opportunity, why don't you quit your job? It's like people who say "don't worry about the money!": you know they've never had to worry about the money.
"You could go back to school."
This one isn't without merit, I'll admit, but historically all this has done is wound up with me saddled with more debt and the demand for whatever I was taking disappearing immediately after I finish the course. I would like to be out of debt, thank you.
"I guess you'll have to sell your house."
Why? No, really, why do you think we'd have to do that? You have no idea what my mortgage payments are. You're also not aware that we created our household budget such that we could manage the mortgage and bills on one income just in case of something like this. It might be a bit tight, money-wise, but it's not impossible. Not saying it won't come to that, but it isn't very likely at this point. Besides, if my parents can manage to hold on to a house I sure as hell can.
"The bank is going to foreclose on you."
Again, you're basing this on...what? We've never missed a mortgage payment, there isn't any reason we would miss them in the immediate future, and I'm not sure banks actually like to foreclose on properties. A foreclosed property isn't generating income, is not likely to sell quickly in the current or projected housing market, and, thanks to an oddity in provincial law, a home that is not occupied by the owner pays double the property tax of an occupied home. (No, I don't know either.) Banks like to earn money. They do not like to spend it. It's likely we could negotiate lower or partially deferred payments for at least a short term. Foreclosure in the future isn't an impossibility - awful things happening never is - but don't phrase it as if the bank's going to go "well, one of you is out of work, house is ours!" Especially not two weeks after I got laid off, for pity's sake. That's not even enough time to hear back about a first interview.
"Well, you have to find a job."
No shit.
"You can't just sit around watching TV all day."
Whatever spy camera you have that is informing on my activities, you're looking at the wrong feed. Unless it's just counting any time in front of a screen as 'watching TV all day', in which case I've no idea how to search and apply for work in a modern job market without spending some time in front of the monitor searching job sites, customizing resumes, writing cover letters, and checking my email for replies. There aren't any so far beyond auto-responses, but I still have to check.
And my off time from that isn't 'sitting around watching TV'. It's lounging around playing Skyrim, thank you.
"Just apply for everything, whether you're qualified or not."
Here's the thing about that, and I learned it dealing with HR reps for seven years: it actually isn't a good strategy because HR will start to recognize your name and you may be less likely to be considered for a specific position if they think you're just spamming them for every position. This is also why customizing your resume and cover letter for each posting is important, even with the same company. It shows you're actually putting effort into it, not just uploading the same files over and over.
"I heard about [some person] who did [gimmicky thing] with their resume and got hired. You should try that!"
Odds are, I shouldn't. Resume blunder sites and articles are filled with people doing cutesy or clever things that resulted in their not getting a callback, far more than stories of people succeeding with them.
"Well, Steve has a job. You can just be a housewife."
Before I say anything else: there is nothing wrong with being a homemaker. It's a perfectly valid choice but it isn't what we agreed on, and it isn't what I want.
"Now you can have a baby!"
Go straight to hell, do not pass Go. Aside from the fact that it's none of your business if someone even wants kids, or what they might be going through attempting to have them, how on Earth does "you have less money, increase your expenses!" strike you as remotely rational? When I'm in charge, it will be legal to slap these people.
Anything involving God and/or mysterious ways.
Don't. Just don't.