Dec 04, 2009 20:24
Just a few mild rants here.
Please remember where your characters are when you use the word 'floor'. 'Floor' implies an artificial surface, one found in or on a structure. If your characters are inside, they are standing on the floor, or a synonym thereof. If they are outside they are standing on the ground. Or the dirt, leaf mold, moss, grass, driveway, or some other synonym that is probably not also a synonym for floor. If they are outside, they are not standing on the floor, unless you specify that they are in, say, the ruins of a building, or a gazebo, or on a platform or something. Or, you know, underwater and standing on the ocean floor. Outside and breathing air and there is no artificial structure involved? No floor. I know you intend the same meaning, but you have the wrong connotation.
If they are standing on top of a building, they are still not on the floor. They are on the roof. (Again, or a synonym thereof.)
Remember the heights of your characters. If you are talking about live actors, use IMDB. Half an inch in height isn't going to make that huge of a difference. Do not write character Y as this teeny tiny little thing next to character X if they, you know, really aren't. Yes, even if the actors are of opposite gender, you still have to check. Some women are taller than their partners.
Finally, if two characters who are already face-to-face kiss, odds are the taller of them will not in fact need to tilt the other one's head up. When you are talking to someone who's taller than you are, you look up automatically. It's instinct. If you must write this, for pity's sake, at least indicate that the shorter person has glanced down, or looked away, or turned their head to sneeze or look at a shiny thing or something. Please.
spiked punch party,
errors,
ranting