End-of-shift, toddler style
I don't think I've ever written about the time the two-year-old helped me get my shift finished.
This happened when I was working as a grocery store cashier, a few years ago. It was on a Sunday, and the store was due to close in about an hour. Now, this is normally the time it takes you FOREVER to close, because a psychic wave goes out to every jerk customer in the store telling them you're going to try and shut down your cash, and they all jam into lines. (Fun fact: 90% of people who shop on Sundays are jerks. About 40% of these will bitch you out for working on Sunday, completely oblivious to the logic that if they didn't shop on Sunday, no one would have to work. One guy told me, complete with random crescendoes and dramatically pointing finger, that "You should all REFUSE!!! to work Sundays! Then they'd HAVE!!! to close!!!" No, then they'd cut our hours back until we quit in frustration, and replace us. Welcome to Planet Retail.)
I was set to go home at the hour before close, so I was quite happy when I got the word to put up my sign about five minutes beforehand. I got to beat the linejammers! My happiness was dampened by the knowledge that they would still try, and I'd have the arguments - "Well, I don't WANT to wait in line! Open back up!" - and the whining - "But I just have a few thiiiings! Come oooonn!". It certainly didn't help that, at this store, the cashes were miswired; the switch that was supposed to control the light instead controlled the light AND the scanner. So, you had to have your light on while closing. Fun. (It was supposed to be, one switch for the light, one for the scanner and conveyor belt.) I can't blame customers for being confused on this one, although just FYI? The phrase "That's not how they do it at Wal-Mart!" will make your cashier want to jam a spork into you. Hilarious. We didn't have those lovely chains that stores used to have to pull across the end of the lane and block people, either. We just had small, light, plastic signs that we'd either put on the end of the cash, or on the handle of the customer's cart.
Of course, before I could turn my light off and put up my sign, someone came into my lane and started to unload their cart. They had quite a bit of stuff, a small child, and I just knew that if I put my sign on the end of the counter, it'd get knocked over, or hidden. I decided to hang the sign on the end of their cart.
"Hi sweetie," I said to the roughly two-year-old girl sitting in the basket of the cart. "I'm just going to put my sign on the handle here, OK?"
"Why?"
"So that people will know I'm going home when I'm done with your things."
"You go home soon?"
"Yes, that's right, I'm going home soon."
"Okay." She gave me a firm nod, and patted the handle of the cart. "Okay." Cute. So I thanked her, hung up my sign, and went back to finish their order.
As I scan, I kept a lookout via my peripheral vision for people trying to come in to the lane I'm trying to close. One such customer came along and I started to call out that I was closed, when I was interrupted. Interrupted by a small, yet definite, voice.
"No!"
If you've ever been around toddlers, you know the 'No' I'm talking about. Loud, clear, definite, firm, I'm-not-gonna-and-you-can't-make-me. That's what this was. The approaching customer and I (and presumably the girl's father, although he was out of my vision at this point) look down. The little girl has her hand on the sign and is looking up at the approaching customer, who clearly had every intent of coming into my lane whether I liked it or not. Again, we heard that small, firm voice.
"No!"
The approaching customer opened his mouth to say something. Not to me, but to her. I had the distinct impression he was going to start arguing, only he didn't get the chance.
"No! No, no, NO!" She picks up the sign, and waves it at him! "No!"
At this point, the customer must have realized that he was about to get into a debate with a small child, closed his mouth, and went away. Either that toddler was really on my side, or she really liked her new game, because everyone who came to the lane got the same treatment.
"No!" Sign wave. "No, no!"
It worked. It worked like a charm. I wanted to hire her, but her father said his wife probably wouldn't like that. At the end of the transaction, as her father wheeled her through, I asked her for the sign back so I could put it on my counter.
"You go home now!" she announced cheerfully, handing it over. "Bye-bye!"
This happened when I was working as a grocery store cashier, a few years ago. It was on a Sunday, and the store was due to close in about an hour. Now, this is normally the time it takes you FOREVER to close, because a psychic wave goes out to every jerk customer in the store telling them you're going to try and shut down your cash, and they all jam into lines. (Fun fact: 90% of people who shop on Sundays are jerks. About 40% of these will bitch you out for working on Sunday, completely oblivious to the logic that if they didn't shop on Sunday, no one would have to work. One guy told me, complete with random crescendoes and dramatically pointing finger, that "You should all REFUSE!!! to work Sundays! Then they'd HAVE!!! to close!!!" No, then they'd cut our hours back until we quit in frustration, and replace us. Welcome to Planet Retail.)
I was set to go home at the hour before close, so I was quite happy when I got the word to put up my sign about five minutes beforehand. I got to beat the linejammers! My happiness was dampened by the knowledge that they would still try, and I'd have the arguments - "Well, I don't WANT to wait in line! Open back up!" - and the whining - "But I just have a few thiiiings! Come oooonn!". It certainly didn't help that, at this store, the cashes were miswired; the switch that was supposed to control the light instead controlled the light AND the scanner. So, you had to have your light on while closing. Fun. (It was supposed to be, one switch for the light, one for the scanner and conveyor belt.) I can't blame customers for being confused on this one, although just FYI? The phrase "That's not how they do it at Wal-Mart!" will make your cashier want to jam a spork into you. Hilarious. We didn't have those lovely chains that stores used to have to pull across the end of the lane and block people, either. We just had small, light, plastic signs that we'd either put on the end of the cash, or on the handle of the customer's cart.
Of course, before I could turn my light off and put up my sign, someone came into my lane and started to unload their cart. They had quite a bit of stuff, a small child, and I just knew that if I put my sign on the end of the counter, it'd get knocked over, or hidden. I decided to hang the sign on the end of their cart.
"Hi sweetie," I said to the roughly two-year-old girl sitting in the basket of the cart. "I'm just going to put my sign on the handle here, OK?"
"Why?"
"So that people will know I'm going home when I'm done with your things."
"You go home soon?"
"Yes, that's right, I'm going home soon."
"Okay." She gave me a firm nod, and patted the handle of the cart. "Okay." Cute. So I thanked her, hung up my sign, and went back to finish their order.
As I scan, I kept a lookout via my peripheral vision for people trying to come in to the lane I'm trying to close. One such customer came along and I started to call out that I was closed, when I was interrupted. Interrupted by a small, yet definite, voice.
"No!"
If you've ever been around toddlers, you know the 'No' I'm talking about. Loud, clear, definite, firm, I'm-not-gonna-and-you-can't-make-me. That's what this was. The approaching customer and I (and presumably the girl's father, although he was out of my vision at this point) look down. The little girl has her hand on the sign and is looking up at the approaching customer, who clearly had every intent of coming into my lane whether I liked it or not. Again, we heard that small, firm voice.
"No!"
The approaching customer opened his mouth to say something. Not to me, but to her. I had the distinct impression he was going to start arguing, only he didn't get the chance.
"No! No, no, NO!" She picks up the sign, and waves it at him! "No!"
At this point, the customer must have realized that he was about to get into a debate with a small child, closed his mouth, and went away. Either that toddler was really on my side, or she really liked her new game, because everyone who came to the lane got the same treatment.
"No!" Sign wave. "No, no!"
It worked. It worked like a charm. I wanted to hire her, but her father said his wife probably wouldn't like that. At the end of the transaction, as her father wheeled her through, I asked her for the sign back so I could put it on my counter.
"You go home now!" she announced cheerfully, handing it over. "Bye-bye!"