Tales from the Book, Part CLXXXX
Ever hear an odd or unexpected sound, that you can identify nonetheless? I've done this at least twice: the first time I identified the sound of party mix being poured into a bowl (startling poor Steve by calling out "Oh, hey! I forgot we had party mix!") and tonight, when we heard a loud sound from the kitchen. I said "It sounds like the cutting board fell out of the rack onto the floor." (I stack dishes up to dry in a way that usually, but not always, seems to defy the laws of physics.)
And I was right.
Of course, Steve went up to check, came back down, and said "You were partially right. The cutting board fell on top of a bag of party mix."
One woman insisted she'd called and gotten a quote for next-day service to China from Canada for $70. No. She didn't. Not from Ontario, anyway.
"Expendendited." Again, from someone at a school.
Multiple Callers:
Caller: The driver was just here and I left the box outside but he didn't take it. He didn't knock or anything.
Agent: *apology statements, etc.* He must have not realized someone was home since the package was outside. *checks* It says here that the shipment was refused as not ready.
Caller: Oh, did I need to tape up the box?
Agent: Yes. If it's not taped and ready, the driver won't pick it up.
Caller: Ohh...
Agent: *starts to reschedule* Do you have a preprinted shipping label?
Caller: Yeah. I put that inside the box and tape it up, right?
Agent: *Yes, ma'am, all our drivers are in fact from Krypton, and have x-ray vision*
Note: The label has a destination address on it, as well as the billing info, and the barcode to scan it into the system. Eveven if you've never shipped with a courier before, wouldn't it occur to you that the address needs to be visible? Have you not sent or received mail before? Were you deprived of Sesame Street as a child?
Caller: I don't know the destination postal code. It's in Really Genericville.
Agent: Okay, which province is Really Genericville in.
Caller: Uh, I don't know.
Agent: *!* I will need the postal code to give you a time and cost.
Caller: Why?
Agent: There's more than one Really Genericville in Canada. Without at least the province I have no way to look it up.
Caller: It's going to Shoes for Morons...I think.
Agent: I have no way to look it up by company. You'll have to get the address and call us back.
Caller: Oh, but...okay. Bye. *fails to hang up*
Agent: *finally hits 'release'*
One of the few times I ever lost control of my voice on the phone with a customer was when I had to tell them that the contact agents for regulated shipments leaving Canada and going to the US are Harry Wood, and Harry Wood Junior.
Agent: Okay, the names are...Harry Wood. And Harry Wood Junior.
Caller: You're joking.
Agent: Nope.
And I was right.
Of course, Steve went up to check, came back down, and said "You were partially right. The cutting board fell on top of a bag of party mix."
One woman insisted she'd called and gotten a quote for next-day service to China from Canada for $70. No. She didn't. Not from Ontario, anyway.
"Expendendited." Again, from someone at a school.
Multiple Callers:
Caller: The driver was just here and I left the box outside but he didn't take it. He didn't knock or anything.
Agent: *apology statements, etc.* He must have not realized someone was home since the package was outside. *checks* It says here that the shipment was refused as not ready.
Caller: Oh, did I need to tape up the box?
Agent: Yes. If it's not taped and ready, the driver won't pick it up.
Caller: Ohh...
Agent: *starts to reschedule* Do you have a preprinted shipping label?
Caller: Yeah. I put that inside the box and tape it up, right?
Agent: *Yes, ma'am, all our drivers are in fact from Krypton, and have x-ray vision*
Note: The label has a destination address on it, as well as the billing info, and the barcode to scan it into the system. Eveven if you've never shipped with a courier before, wouldn't it occur to you that the address needs to be visible? Have you not sent or received mail before? Were you deprived of Sesame Street as a child?
Caller: I don't know the destination postal code. It's in Really Genericville.
Agent: Okay, which province is Really Genericville in.
Caller: Uh, I don't know.
Agent: *!* I will need the postal code to give you a time and cost.
Caller: Why?
Agent: There's more than one Really Genericville in Canada. Without at least the province I have no way to look it up.
Caller: It's going to Shoes for Morons...I think.
Agent: I have no way to look it up by company. You'll have to get the address and call us back.
Caller: Oh, but...okay. Bye. *fails to hang up*
Agent: *finally hits 'release'*
One of the few times I ever lost control of my voice on the phone with a customer was when I had to tell them that the contact agents for regulated shipments leaving Canada and going to the US are Harry Wood, and Harry Wood Junior.
Agent: Okay, the names are...Harry Wood. And Harry Wood Junior.
Caller: You're joking.
Agent: Nope.