Tales from the Book, Part XCVI
OK, starting Tuesday, my shift at Evening Job will be 5:30 to 9:30, not factoring last-minute fools into the equation. (Unless, of, course, they're the type that say "Can I schedule a pickup?" and hang up immediately on getting an affirmative response, but before giving any info, like their address.) I have a suspicion I'll need an outlet, so we're going to try returning the Tales to their usual Monday / Thursday dates. It's amazing how an extra hour gives you that much more free time.
Multiple callers:
Tech:Up above the Sign-On screen, click on 'Settings'.
Caller:On the Sign-On screen...
It didn't help that, despite using a software client comprised of three different windows on startup alone, they had no concept of one program being able to contain multiple windows. As far as they were concerned, the Sign-On screen was all there was, and there couldn't be anything above it. If you've guessed that often I'd hear "There's nothing above it, just..." you're absolutely right.
Overheard on the call floor:
"No, I need you to close that...yes, close it...no, there shouldn't...no, it's still open...if you can see the program then it's open...No. You need to follow my instructions...Yes, I can help you, but I need you to do what I tell you, please. Why are you in Task Manager?" At this point, the tech put the member on Mute, and began addressing us. "I don't know what this guy's doing. He's in Task Manager counting the processes, now. I think the aliens are giving him instructions."
Apparently, the caller never did follow instructions. The tech ended up grabbing a floorwalker for permission to release the call - something we didn't actually have to do, as I let him know later, we could hang up on people for deliberate noncooperation. Instead, the caller hung up. The tech said the Martians went home.
This is what I was doing when the above was going on:
Tech:When you say it's not going in, do you mean it's not signing on, or it won't install?
Caller:It won't connect.
Tech:Are you installing the program from the CD?
Caller:Oh, I have to install it?
Yes, this happened. It really, really happened. What scares me is, I have seen this on enough sites devoted to stupid luser stories that I thought it was urban legend until it happened in my ear.
Tech:On your Sign-On screen, do you see 'Connect Options'?
Caller:On my 'Start' button?
Tech:May I please have your first and last name? [The stress was on the *your* because too many people thought only the account holder could call for tech support, which wasn't accurate. That was just the only person we could release account information to.]
Caller:Uhh...*to background* What name should I give them?
Tech:I don't need the account holder's name, I need your name.
Caller:Ohhh!
Multiple callers:
Tech:Up above the Sign-On screen, click on 'Settings'.
Caller:On the Sign-On screen...
It didn't help that, despite using a software client comprised of three different windows on startup alone, they had no concept of one program being able to contain multiple windows. As far as they were concerned, the Sign-On screen was all there was, and there couldn't be anything above it. If you've guessed that often I'd hear "There's nothing above it, just..." you're absolutely right.
Overheard on the call floor:
"No, I need you to close that...yes, close it...no, there shouldn't...no, it's still open...if you can see the program then it's open...No. You need to follow my instructions...Yes, I can help you, but I need you to do what I tell you, please. Why are you in Task Manager?" At this point, the tech put the member on Mute, and began addressing us. "I don't know what this guy's doing. He's in Task Manager counting the processes, now. I think the aliens are giving him instructions."
Apparently, the caller never did follow instructions. The tech ended up grabbing a floorwalker for permission to release the call - something we didn't actually have to do, as I let him know later, we could hang up on people for deliberate noncooperation. Instead, the caller hung up. The tech said the Martians went home.
This is what I was doing when the above was going on:
Tech:When you say it's not going in, do you mean it's not signing on, or it won't install?
Caller:It won't connect.
Tech:Are you installing the program from the CD?
Caller:Oh, I have to install it?
Yes, this happened. It really, really happened. What scares me is, I have seen this on enough sites devoted to stupid luser stories that I thought it was urban legend until it happened in my ear.
Tech:On your Sign-On screen, do you see 'Connect Options'?
Caller:On my 'Start' button?
Tech:May I please have your first and last name? [The stress was on the *your* because too many people thought only the account holder could call for tech support, which wasn't accurate. That was just the only person we could release account information to.]
Caller:Uhh...*to background* What name should I give them?
Tech:I don't need the account holder's name, I need your name.
Caller:Ohhh!