004 [Video] - This is going to be so awkward the morning after

[servidude]

[Guy sets the device down on the counter. He's in an apron in the apartment kitchen, behind him Asch is visible also working on something. Guy smiles at the camera as he leans back, picking up a bowl and resuming the mixing of whatever is inside.]

Hey Luke, just wanted to remind you it's our one year anniversary. [He beams, looking so damn happy

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[action]

[servidude]

[The first thing to register it Luke's voice and the shoving. Quickly followed by the assessment that Luke sounds urgent about something, and that Guy feels pretty comfortable and warm but is definitely sleeping outdoors. Probably a monster attack? All of this computes almost instantly, leaving Guy trying to sit up and reach for his sword before he can even process anything else.]

[Except he's not really used to trying to sit up while holding someone so he ends up flailing, half tangled with one arm under Asch and the other flung behind him in that quest for his blade and his eyes wide open now because he doesn't ever fall asleep holding someone. Let alone someone as... Uh, solidly male as this one feels.]

[Things are kind of coming back quickly and this is Asch, not Luke, shoving at him and telling him to wake up in that tone and for a few moments he stares at the other in the dumbest shock, trying to rewind yesterday and figure out how this happened.]

Gynnehk? [Is the first, strangled sound he manages to produce, tugging at the arm under Asch which is now slightly tingly--must have fallen asleep a bit with Asch leaning on it--ohgod.]

Asch what the hell-- [But he remembers, and the whole reaction takes the space of a few seconds.]

[action]

[stupidgenes]

I don't--

[Asch's eyes widen as he has the same shocking realization--the same brief and quick rerun of yesterday's events--at the same time that Guy does. Oh NO. Just. No. Dammit. He feels disgusted and betrayed by the City's twisted little joke.

He hopes to free himself completely from Guy with one final shove before backing away slowly and rising to his feet, which now feel wobbly like a gelatinous substance. There's still this somewhat horrified, incredulous look on his face.]

It can't be...

[He chokes a little just thinking about it. Of course, he wants to have a good relationship with Guy. But just... not THAT one. Things never were that way, things can't have been that way, things just AREN'T that way, things WILL NEVER BE that way EVER.

Asch has to leave. He has to leave, dammit. Right now.

His first instinct is to just run the hell away. To run. He has to get the hell out of here. He needs space; right now, he feels like he can't breathe. There's a weight on his chest crushing the air in his lungs. He's finally on his feet, still looking at Guy in his shock and horror.]

[action]

[servidude]

[Guy isn't exactly resisting the shove. He scrambles to his feet, snatching up his sword out of habit but not doing anything with it, just meeting Asch's eyes with what is probably a matching look of horror and shock. He was cursed before, forgot who he was, believed he was some noble living a happy life for two days... The aftermath of that, however, wasn't so bad. It was really weird, but he could forget about it. He and Yuri hadn't ended up hurting each other, and that was about the only thing he would have regretted from that event. And for that matter, even with altered memories his feelings hadn't been changed.]

[But this is different. This is so much more personal and violating. To him and Asch both. Worse than being controlled by the Score, much worse than being manipulated by Van, they were both used, with no say, and they enjoyed it--Guy distinctly recalls being head over heels for Asch but that memory doesn't fit because the rest of him, the real him, has mixed feelings at best about the other man. Most of them negative.]

[It's jarring and horrifying and angering but he can't blame Asch because the teenager just had to suffer the exact same thing. Part of Guy is genuinely concerned, the look on Asch's face is... It's not good. He's pretty sure his own expression is too open as well, but he's not currently sure which face to put on.]

[One thing is certain. Neither of them want this horror.]

It didn't happen.

[Guy says it firmly, tone flat. Suddenly breaking the silence, eyes still meeting Asch's. Maybe pretending nothing happened is wrong. They should probably deal with this, but frankly he's not up to it, and Asch looks about ready to run. He can't blame him.]

Yesterday was a bad dream.

[He slides his sheath into its place on his belt, eyes still on Asch.]

[action]

[stupidgenes]

[Asch ponders briefly how it's so simple for Guy to sweep that all under a rug and say it never happened. But he decides that Guy simply has had that much practice and probably is wholly forcing himself to believe it, too. It's not that Asch doesn't have any experience with denying the past, but... it's always so close behind him, often at his very heels. No matter how much he casts it aside and tries to believe with all his conviction that it isn't his or that it shouldn't have happened that way, he can't lie to himself like that. It's too difficult.

Maybe... maybe Guy is used to living a life filled with lies and deceit, but Asch just isn't like that.

He turns aside, dropping his gaze to somewhere on the floor.]

... it's that simple, huh?

[action]

[servidude]

[Guy watches Asch. Noting, absently, the body language, the closing off. Can't really say he doesn't feel much the same. Turning away, looking down... He'd like to do that himself. What he doesn't get is whatever problem Asch has with just deciding it never happened. Neither of them had a choice in this, better to just shove it aside than to let it linger, so what does Asch want?]

It's that simple.

[He crosses his arms, doesn't look away, keeping Asch within his gaze instead of looking away from him. It's a bit of a pride thing--he won't glance away even if he wants this all to just disappear.]

So what if you've got a problem with it, what do you want?

[Surely neither of them want to confront this. Guy's voice holds a slight, challenging edge. If Asch has a better idea than forgetting the whole thing, he'd love to hear it.]

[action] ...i am sorry about failtag. DX

[stupidgenes]

[Naturally, Asch doesn't have a better idea, but he just can't seem to really do it. I... don't know... would be the real answer if he trusted anyone enough to be perfectly honest with him. But this is Guy, and Asch finds it difficult to place his thoughts and feelings on him.]

--Nothing.

[Whatever. Maybe they're no longer in Auldrant, and maybe he has all the time this world has to offer him. But it's too much, too soon, and too painful a wound.

He turns to walk away.]

I'm leaving.

[action] No fail in sight!

[servidude]

[Guy can read that hesitation. It's half blessing half curse he can read people so well, especially when they lie. And Asch isn't exactly the best liar Guy's ever met. Better than Luke, at least. But he doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't even know what he wants to do about it.]

[He wants yesterday never to have existed but that's impractical and not happening. To him the next best thing is denial, but he knows that's not healthy and Asch... Asch can handle it, he tries to convince himself, looking away from the redhead's retreating figure.]

[Asch has been abandoned by everyone for seven years. Why does his conscience sound suspiciously like Natalia? He clenches his fists, growls out despite himself, half hoping Asch is too far to hear, half dreading he isn't.]

Asch, wait.

[action]

[stupidgenes]

[Asch's feet stop moving when he hears Guy's voice. Even though his mind tells him to just ignore it, he doesn't continue walking. He stands, still facing away.

It all seems so stupid. Guy already made his decision. So why should Asch even bother listening to what he has to say now? But Asch still wanted to listen, still wanted to hope that Guy had a solution in mind, still wanted to respect Guy's wishes in some way or with some small gesture.]

What.

[action]

[servidude]

[Why isn't Natalia around? Maybe he should be glad, since yesterday would have been heartbreaking for her, but today he really wishes she were here. Or maybe not--what could Natalia hope to do in this situation anyway? What exactly did he plan to do? Guy's really not sure where to go from this, why he asked Asch to stop, beyond the fact that he couldn't just let him go off alone this time.]

[But what other options does he have? He doesn't have a solution to offer. He makes a frustrated tch and doesn't look at Asch.]

If it bothers you that much, [And it bothers Guy quite a bit, so he can't blame Asch there.] Then... [Then what? He doesn't even know. This is too personal, and while he could turn his all too perceptive prodding on Asch, he's not sure he wants to.]

Think about what you want. Are you just going to accept what I say regardless of what you think?

[He can't think about it like lecturing Luke, but at the same time it's almost similar. Guy looks at Asch finally, examines his rigid back before he bends over and picks up the picnic blanket, starting to fold it, once again not looking at Asch. His next words are damn hypocritical but he never claimed not to be a hypocrite.]

Is it fine if you just run away?

[action]

[stupidgenes]

[He's still standing. Listening. Thinking. But Asch doesn't want, doesn't *need* this lecture right now, and especially coming from Guy.]

Shut up! [His voice cracks a little, another betrayal of sorts. He's aware that Guy knows what he's talking about, but his mind just overrides and blocks out that rational logic.] Don't make me repeat myself.

[Asch had already said he's leaving, and he certainly hasn't changed his mind. What does Guy care whether or not he accepts what he's saying? Why should Guy even care about him running away for some alone time to sort out his problems?

... yeah. Dammit. Why would Guy care?

He resumes his walk, feet taking him to who-knows-where.]

[action]

[servidude]

[Guy stares at the blanket he's folding for a little while, forcing his fists to keep from clenching and his jaw to remain relaxed. He even keeps his face neutral as Asch stomps away.]

[And instead of growling or yelling or punching something in frustration, he slowly, methodically, finishes cleaning up the picnic basket and blanket and everything, and stands and calmly turns to walk towards home.]

[Brat brat brat brat brat. He breathes deeply, looks up at the sky without really seeing it as he walks. Why does he try? He's not even sure he wants to succeed. But as much as it's tempting to just... Leave it, say he's through with it, he's pretty sure the next time something happens he'll try again anyway.]

[Maybe he's just stupid for doing something he doesn't even want to, but Asch doesn't have to be such a frustrating moron either.]

[Calm, stay calm.]

[Brat.]