Of endless seas.
It's there inside me. Twisting. Writhing. Waiting. I feel sick. Binge eating when I'm not thinking, not eating when I am. There are so many things kicking around in my head. I just want to curl around myself until they settle down and sort themselves out. Withdraw from everything and everyone that wants something from me. And knowing I can't only adds to the desire to do it.
I don't know what to do. Even my bad days aren't as bad as they used to be when I knew I was depressed. But I have this feeling that I should talk to someone. How do you interview therapists without spending a fortune?
There's something breaking down inside me. Breaking down and building up. And I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I need another pair of eyes willing to look and it seems the only way to get that is to pay for it.
*sigh* I just want some contentment that lasts. I just want to push through the bullshit and make it out the other side into a real life instead of the pathetic excuse I'm "living".
I don't know what to do. Even my bad days aren't as bad as they used to be when I knew I was depressed. But I have this feeling that I should talk to someone. How do you interview therapists without spending a fortune?
There's something breaking down inside me. Breaking down and building up. And I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I need another pair of eyes willing to look and it seems the only way to get that is to pay for it.
*sigh* I just want some contentment that lasts. I just want to push through the bullshit and make it out the other side into a real life instead of the pathetic excuse I'm "living".