Sometimes death.
A friend that I lost touch with a couple of years ago just died yesterday. I was in shock for a while, and tried not to think about it. He was twenty years old. Mortality is a scary thing.
It was brought home to me yet again that people my age can, and do, die. This is something that I needed a reminder of. I think everybody does. Most people think that they will live to old age, but not everybody does live that long. I might live for decades yet, or I might live only a few minutes more. Either way, I've decided to do the things I want to do, and not waste a single moment of my life.
I've resolved to be straight up about the things I like and the things I don't with people from now on. If they don't like the same things, than sometimes compromises can be made, because sometimes interrelations with other people are more important than the little things. If they can't handle the things I like and don't like, then I don't need them in my life that badly. And if, best of all, they like the same things? Then I've just meshed at a new level that I might not have otherwise with that person.
Life happens; death happens. We should all make the best of the former, because the latter might be just around the corner.
Sometimes I can practically feel death creeping up on me, or at least time slipping through my fingers. At those times I always think of the things I haven't drawn/ painted yet, the stories I haven't written yet, the things I haven't done, and always- always I hope that I don't die before I know what love feels like. I want that. I want a romantic love, where we will be there for each other no matter what. I want a love where we can confide in each other, where we can cuddle and feel that emotional and physical closeness, where we can wake up to each other every morning and smile, where we can hold hands and have intelligent conversations. In short, I want the fairytale romance. And yes, I know there will be hard parts, and probably arguments, but being able to work through the rough parts is a part of the fairytale in my world.
Without this, I feel like dying would be kind of lonely in a way. Not really in a 'being alone' kind of way, but rather in a 'nobody will have really truly understood me' kind of way. That to me is true loneliness, to always have parts of you shut away in your own head.
It was brought home to me yet again that people my age can, and do, die. This is something that I needed a reminder of. I think everybody does. Most people think that they will live to old age, but not everybody does live that long. I might live for decades yet, or I might live only a few minutes more. Either way, I've decided to do the things I want to do, and not waste a single moment of my life.
I've resolved to be straight up about the things I like and the things I don't with people from now on. If they don't like the same things, than sometimes compromises can be made, because sometimes interrelations with other people are more important than the little things. If they can't handle the things I like and don't like, then I don't need them in my life that badly. And if, best of all, they like the same things? Then I've just meshed at a new level that I might not have otherwise with that person.
Life happens; death happens. We should all make the best of the former, because the latter might be just around the corner.
Sometimes I can practically feel death creeping up on me, or at least time slipping through my fingers. At those times I always think of the things I haven't drawn/ painted yet, the stories I haven't written yet, the things I haven't done, and always- always I hope that I don't die before I know what love feels like. I want that. I want a romantic love, where we will be there for each other no matter what. I want a love where we can confide in each other, where we can cuddle and feel that emotional and physical closeness, where we can wake up to each other every morning and smile, where we can hold hands and have intelligent conversations. In short, I want the fairytale romance. And yes, I know there will be hard parts, and probably arguments, but being able to work through the rough parts is a part of the fairytale in my world.
Without this, I feel like dying would be kind of lonely in a way. Not really in a 'being alone' kind of way, but rather in a 'nobody will have really truly understood me' kind of way. That to me is true loneliness, to always have parts of you shut away in your own head.