Why Must People Involve Me in Awkward Conversations in the Morning?
I really don't understand people's obsession with light and daytime. Let alone asking me really awkward questions early in the morning. To set the stage for you, I went to bed at 6:00am this morning. At 8:00am My dear cousin Brianna comes down to my nice, dark dungeon room where I am sleeping, slams open the door and turns on the light! (According to Granny I yowled so loud I startled the dog.)
Brianna: Wake up! Wake up you slugabed!
Me: *Growl* No. *Pulls covers up higher*
Brianna: Get up! I need to ask you something.
Me: Sod off. *snarl*
Brianna: But I can't ask anyone else.
Me: Turn off the damn light and get off my legs!
Brianna: But...
Me: I'll listen if you shut the bloody light off. Light an effing candle or something.
Light goes out, two candles lit.
Brianna: Now will you listen?
Me: Do I have a choice? Yes, I'm listening.
Brianna: Well, It's about Dominic.
Now Dominic is an old friend of mine, circa Order of Medea bad-girl period. I'm not sure why, but he had fallen hard for my goody goody cousin about three years ago, now they're engaged and so cute that it makes you want to barf.
Me: What about 'im?
Brianna: Well...you see...this is hard...I mean...
Me: Spit it out or leave me sleep!
Brianna: He wants, well. he wants to use a knife in foreplay!
Me: Uh huh...so? What are we talking? Bloodplay or just light bondage?
This doesn't surprise me in the least. I've known Dominic too long. However, i can see why this would upset Miss Look-at-me-I'm-Sandra-Dee
Brianna: Blood...play?
Me: So? Don't do it if your not comfortable.
Brianna: But I want to make him happy and he wants to do it and all his other ideas have been fun!
Now I've got an image in my head that I really didn't want, so I sit up, and rush to cover her mouth, since she's becoming hysterical and telling me way more than I ever wanted to know about their private lives.
Me: If I take my hand off you'll listen to me, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: You trust Dominic, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: And you know what I'm probably going to say, right?
Brianna: *Pause* *Nod*
Me: And the main reason your asking me is because you want someone to say it's okay, right?
Brianna...
Me: You could've asked your sister, but she'd be horrified, and say that you daren't think about it, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: *Removing hand from mouth* Then if you want to do it, and you trust him, which Freya knows you should, since you're marrying the git, you don't need me to tell you if it's okay. It's your choice, but y'know I couldn't care less.
Brianna: *Throws herself at me in a bone-crushing hug* Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Me: *Pats her on back* Okay, yeah, love you too, get off!
And of course after this incredibly awkward `conversation there was no way in Hades I was getting back to sleep, so I got up. Why must people ask me crap like this when I'm half-asleep? Especially when they already know what they're going to do? When I went upstairs granny said she was shocked that I hadn't killed or at least maimed darling Brianna, to which I had to reply that the day was young and maybe once I had my bath and some milk I'd think of a suitible punishment...
Which, of course, I did. *smirk*
Brianna: Wake up! Wake up you slugabed!
Me: *Growl* No. *Pulls covers up higher*
Brianna: Get up! I need to ask you something.
Me: Sod off. *snarl*
Brianna: But I can't ask anyone else.
Me: Turn off the damn light and get off my legs!
Brianna: But...
Me: I'll listen if you shut the bloody light off. Light an effing candle or something.
Light goes out, two candles lit.
Brianna: Now will you listen?
Me: Do I have a choice? Yes, I'm listening.
Brianna: Well, It's about Dominic.
Now Dominic is an old friend of mine, circa Order of Medea bad-girl period. I'm not sure why, but he had fallen hard for my goody goody cousin about three years ago, now they're engaged and so cute that it makes you want to barf.
Me: What about 'im?
Brianna: Well...you see...this is hard...I mean...
Me: Spit it out or leave me sleep!
Brianna: He wants, well. he wants to use a knife in foreplay!
Me: Uh huh...so? What are we talking? Bloodplay or just light bondage?
This doesn't surprise me in the least. I've known Dominic too long. However, i can see why this would upset Miss Look-at-me-I'm-Sandra-Dee
Brianna: Blood...play?
Me: So? Don't do it if your not comfortable.
Brianna: But I want to make him happy and he wants to do it and all his other ideas have been fun!
Now I've got an image in my head that I really didn't want, so I sit up, and rush to cover her mouth, since she's becoming hysterical and telling me way more than I ever wanted to know about their private lives.
Me: If I take my hand off you'll listen to me, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: You trust Dominic, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: And you know what I'm probably going to say, right?
Brianna: *Pause* *Nod*
Me: And the main reason your asking me is because you want someone to say it's okay, right?
Brianna...
Me: You could've asked your sister, but she'd be horrified, and say that you daren't think about it, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: *Removing hand from mouth* Then if you want to do it, and you trust him, which Freya knows you should, since you're marrying the git, you don't need me to tell you if it's okay. It's your choice, but y'know I couldn't care less.
Brianna: *Throws herself at me in a bone-crushing hug* Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Me: *Pats her on back* Okay, yeah, love you too, get off!
And of course after this incredibly awkward `conversation there was no way in Hades I was getting back to sleep, so I got up. Why must people ask me crap like this when I'm half-asleep? Especially when they already know what they're going to do? When I went upstairs granny said she was shocked that I hadn't killed or at least maimed darling Brianna, to which I had to reply that the day was young and maybe once I had my bath and some milk I'd think of a suitible punishment...
Which, of course, I did. *smirk*