Chiropractor, Zoloft and a bit about me.
This post turned into a novel so I LJ cut this for all of you. Aren't I nice? :P Geez, apparently I have a lot to say tonight. LOL It's all basically health related, so skip it if you're not interested or tired of hearing about it.
Because I was so focused on Zoloft yesterday, I had neglected the back pain I had woken up with. I mean, it bothered me, but it was tolerable early in the day. I kept trying to think what I did that was out of the ordinary the night before and all I did was iron for about an hour. Nope, nothing out of
the ordinary there. Went to bed feeling fine and I woke up with a sore back. It felt like I pulled my back but it wasn't the muscles that bothered me, it was the spine and nerves. I figured I slept funny and that it would go away as the day went on. But the pain was getting more bothersome throughout the morning, to the point where it was highly uncomfortable
to sit or bend. It felt good to stand and walk so I did that all morning. I started to complain about my pain to my coworkers and one of them recommended her chiropractor. I've always been leery of them because one had f'd up my dad's back pretty badly. So I took the number any ways and by around 1, all I could do was sit at my desk zoned out from the meds and
the pain in my lower back. The pain spread to the sides of my hips and I couldn't stand it any longer. At that point I called the chiropractor and they were kind enough to take me in immediately to do an adjustment on me. I have to say, I'm in *total* amazement right now. He normally doesn't do
adjustments on the first visit, he likes to view the x-rays and such and do a consultation on the first visit. But he saw that I was in severe discomfort so he went ahead and gave me an adjustment. I went home after that since it was pointless for me to go back to work all loopy on the meds and my back in pain. I followed the doctor's orders and put an ice pack (frozen peas!) on my back. At this point, I'm still feeling a lot of pain and I thought, great, the adjustment didn't do anything for me. But he did say that my neurons were really fired up and for me to give it some time for them to calm down. So I was still hopeful. After that I iced down my back, I took some Aleve and crashed out. When I woke up from the nap, my back was significantly better. I could still feel some discomfort, but not the unbearable pain I was experiencing earlier. So I was pretty damn happy. I went to bed at 1 and unfortunately, I think from the Zoloft, I was wide-awake. My heart rate was up, I had cottonmouth and my mind would not shut off. I about drove myself crazy from all the internal chattering. I laid there and finally drifted off around 4. I woke up this morning to find that my pain was COMPLETELY gone. GONE!! 100% better. I couldn't believe it. This was too good to be true. I kept waiting for the pain to come back while I walked to work and sat at my desk this morning. Nothing. I went back for a second adjustment this morning, he wanted to follow up and make sure I was all better before the weekend. He said looking from the x-rays, my pelvic bone is torqued in a way that it was causing pressure on my nerves against the spinal cord. I'm just amazed that one adjustment could realign my body like that. And I feel like a whole new person. I wish I knew about this before!! Feels like my body got an oil change. LOL I'm running much smoother now. So since the doc took me in as an emergency we have not been able to do a consultation yet. I go back on Monday and I'm sure we'll talk about my depression and how adjustments can help with that. It could be that this pain was a physical manifestation of my depression. I'm super excited about this. And this doctor is incredible. I highly recommend him to anyone. Even if you are not in pain, just for the sake of better health. Shit, I'd take him with me to NYC if I could. I guess I have my coworker to thank for the recommendation. I've been dying to tell her everything that's happened, but she was off today. I'm still blown away with this whole experience...
The second dosage of Zoloft today made me loopy again with slight nausea. I made sure and took it after work. The only way I could describe that it's like the feeling when you take an Ecstasy pill, the initial wave of disorientation, your eyes not being able to focus on one thing, distorted speech, shaking, and tension in the jaw. If any of you have done X, you know what I'm talking about. I was clenching my teeth HARD all day yesterday. And I had cottonmouth really bad. It feels weird to hold a converstation because I have trouble getting the words out because my jaws are so tight. My speech is coming out all choppy. Yeah, none of the fun feelings of X, just all the crappy stuff that comes along with it. LOL I think Zoloft gave my body a huge jolt, and it could be because I'm on Wellbutrin as well. I hope I adjust to these soon because after my initial 50mg dose for one week, I go up to 100mg. If I'm still feeling loopy by then, I'm gonna consult the nurse because I can't imagine being on double the dosage. Prozac never affected me quite this much and the disorientation really caught me off guard. My appetite is gone already. I force myself to eat meals. I'm sure my posts about my depression and meds are boring some of you to tears or even annoying you. Just to warn you, I will be talking about this A LOT. At least in the beginning stages with the meds. This is who I am, this is what I live with everyday. Some people will never understand that, and some will because they are going through it themselves. I am not sharing all this to get pity or attention from any of you. Believe me, when I first had to deal with this 7-8 years ago, I was all about self-pity and dragging everyone else down with me. Look at me, poor me. If I was miserable, I wanted everyone else to be miserable too. But today, I'm on a path to change my life for the better and I want to document and share my experiences with people who want to listen. And it helps me to get it out. I'm human and have many faults, but I'm trying. When I talk about my depression, I've had people tell me I don't have it (which pisses me off), or don't think it's that bad. Some don't think of this as an illness, just me being a weakling. And some are even surprised because they only see me with a smile. I have mastered to conceal my sadness. I've learned to mold and disguise my true feelings ever since I was a child. It's second nature to me. I'm a chameleon when it comes to emotions until I feel comfortable enough with a person, then I show my true colors. This is for my friends: Please don't think all the laughs and good times were just a facade. They weren't. Being around friends brings out the cheery side of me. I've had genuinely good times and with my friends I am able to be happy or sad or whatever else I'm feeling. I feel safe to be myself. My friends see both the ups and downs of me. In general though, with the rest of society, I try to go with the flow, it's hard to function if I'm all mopey at work or out in a social setting. People don't like to be around others who are mopey and depressed all the time. It brings them down. Who wants to deal and be around that? I'm not depressed 24/7, I have my good days, but a lot are not. And it's those days I put on a smile and pretend. It's easier that way. To blend in. Then no one will bother me or treat me like I'm a freak. I can at least appear to be normal. Because that's what I want to be at times, normal.
Today marks the 4-year anniversary since I moved to Denver. My time here flew by so fast. So much has happened. Lots of good and lots of bad, but the good always seems to outweigh the bad. I'll definitely leave with fond memories of my time here. :)
I think this is the most I've ever had to say in my LJ. The meds are making my mind so wired. If you are reading this last sentence, that means you read my entire post. Thank you for reading my ramblings. :)