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[serpent_star]

Today is a beautiful day. One of those days that gives me hope and makes me forget momentarily that I believe humanity is basically going to hell. Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman in line at the supermarket about watermelon. I love watermelon but don't eat much of it, and if I were to actually buy a watermelon, most of it would probably

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[serpent_star]

Yoga has been quite helpful. I'm finally *really* getting into it after 3 months. A month ago when I'd injured my hands I was considering whether to continue yoga at all; I wasn't sure if I even could, and realized how depressing life would be without yoga, and the next time I went after that, I felt much more serene. I heard that Jennifer Aniston is "addicted" to yoga, which made me laugh, because I feel the same way.

It's easy to say, "there's nothing wrong me, it's the culture's fault!" Except that I have to live in this culture that will continue to send those negative messages all the time, and well, sometimes trying to deflect negative cultural messages becomes an overwhelming task. I also feel like most people are incapable of seeing the forest for the trees on a lot of things. Like if you knew that your attitudes and actions were hurting people more than helping, you'd probably try to change, right? I feel like most people are either too willing to accept the status quo, even if its harmful, or are in denial, or just can't comprehend such things. It's hard feeling like an army of one sometimes...

I *need* to be around friendly people, because I've spent too much time in the recent past feeling like people are the enemy. I don't really *think* they are, but a few brushes with the criminal element had left me feeling paranoid and jaded and... generally not so good. It didn't really make me want to go out and initiate contact with anyone. That's a pretty sad and lonely way to live, if you ask me. I was fully into some sort of survival mode, which feels the opposite of happy and lighthearted. Most of that fear is gone now, and I'm not really so worried about shit happening anymore.

Thanks for the comment about my writing. I feel like I haven't put much effort into writing lately, and I used to really be into it as more of a hobby. My problem is that I'm way too much of a perfectionist, and perfectionism and writing don't mix, because the former chokes the life out of the latter.