christmas just doesnt seem the same this year......
So I've come to the conclusion that christmas season this year sure has brought up a lot of comotion, only because it doesnt seem to have that spark, you know when you feel all fuzzy inside and everyone is throwing christmas parties and ice skating, mistle-toe and all that fuzzy-wuzzy feel good stuff. A lot of people sure have changed, including myself. And I feel like I have been a lot at fault becuase of some of the things that have happend which is really NOT MY FAULT. People love to make me feel guilty, i guess only to think that people wouldnt expect me to lash out when im angry. I hate when people tell me something that isnt true and literally call me a liar...of course im going to get mad! Why the hell wouldnt I? Isnt that logical? If someone accuses you of doing something and you have nothing to prove that you didnt do it, even though you are innocent and you didnt do anything, you are still the one to blame. Why do people expect me to fall into their trap and trick me into paying more money??? IM so sick of people (especially the city of providence milking me with their parking tickets), tricking me into paying more money than what is reasonable. IM SO SICK OF IT!!!! IM NOT A BANK! AND IM NOT MADE OF MONEY!
Uggghhh, sometimes I wish I was rich so i could just live on my own and have nothing to worry about, ahhhh how nice that would be.
Okay, so I have a huge list of new year resolutions that I would like to list....
1.To find what I truely want in life, what is going to make me happy
2.Lose weight
3.Try to get together with friends as much as possible
4. Try not to put work as the center of my life, but to create a balance with school,work and friends/social life
5. go to church
6. clean as much as possible
There are many personal ones, but I think this is bacically the major ones that I can think of. I really want to get to know myself better this year. I have had 19 years to do so, and I think it's time after this sophomore year is over....maybe during the summer....just maybe...going home might be the best idea. But I still dont know yet, I just wish I could find a job and be successful at it, live my content life, meet the man of my dreams, have kids, and die happy. But at the same time, I want to stand out and have a life, and say something cool about myself, like some of the things that I have already accomplished but taken at a higher level. Yeah, I've accomplished a lot of things in life, but something in the back of my mind is telling me i can do better. just constantly...."you can do better serena..." but why? why must i keep trying to be better when all i want is just to be happy? It's like someone is telling you that you need to climb higher on a ladder, but all you really need is just to be a few feet above the ground.
Well, serena might get a lump of coal in her stockin this year, only because that tnis has literally been a bad year for school and life in general. I feel like I havnt accomplished nothing, and I usually feel good about myself this time of year. I just dont want to feel guilty when i go home and celebrate.
will post more later, gotta run
Sincerely,
RENA
Uggghhh, sometimes I wish I was rich so i could just live on my own and have nothing to worry about, ahhhh how nice that would be.
Okay, so I have a huge list of new year resolutions that I would like to list....
1.To find what I truely want in life, what is going to make me happy
2.Lose weight
3.Try to get together with friends as much as possible
4. Try not to put work as the center of my life, but to create a balance with school,work and friends/social life
5. go to church
6. clean as much as possible
There are many personal ones, but I think this is bacically the major ones that I can think of. I really want to get to know myself better this year. I have had 19 years to do so, and I think it's time after this sophomore year is over....maybe during the summer....just maybe...going home might be the best idea. But I still dont know yet, I just wish I could find a job and be successful at it, live my content life, meet the man of my dreams, have kids, and die happy. But at the same time, I want to stand out and have a life, and say something cool about myself, like some of the things that I have already accomplished but taken at a higher level. Yeah, I've accomplished a lot of things in life, but something in the back of my mind is telling me i can do better. just constantly...."you can do better serena..." but why? why must i keep trying to be better when all i want is just to be happy? It's like someone is telling you that you need to climb higher on a ladder, but all you really need is just to be a few feet above the ground.
Well, serena might get a lump of coal in her stockin this year, only because that tnis has literally been a bad year for school and life in general. I feel like I havnt accomplished nothing, and I usually feel good about myself this time of year. I just dont want to feel guilty when i go home and celebrate.
will post more later, gotta run
Sincerely,
RENA