FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK AM I TO PEOPLE....AM I JUST HEAR TO BE A COMEDIC RELIEF IN PEOPLES LIFE....TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AND SMILE AND LAUGH........DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT I AM....HOW I REALY FUCKIN FEEL INSIDE.....I DONT THINK ANYBODY KNOWS ME ...THE "REAL" ME....PEOPLE JUST SEE ME AS THIS GUY WHO LOOKS ALWAYS HAPPY WHO HAS NO CARE IN THE WORLD PEOPLE TELL ME ALL THIS SHIT THATS HAPPENING AROUND THEM...THEY LOOK AT ME AND THINK WOW THIS GUY HAS IT MADE OR SOMETHING....WHAT DO I HAVE ....I HAVE TRIED TO BE POSITIVE SO LONG I HAVE TRIED TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD TRIED TO MAKE THEM SEE THE WORLD IN A WAY WERE THEY SEE BEAUTY AND ALL THIS TIME I FEEL THAT I TRAPED MY SELF IN THIS FAKE WORLD I CREATED AROUND ME.....IM STRUGLING TO GET OUT OF THIS FAKE WORLD I MADE ...IM SCREAMING FOR HELP AND NO BODY CAN HEAR ME.....EXTERNELY I LOOK NORMAL INTERNELLY IM A MESS.......IM TRYING SO HARD TO ESCAPE WHAT I AM...IM TRYING TO SWIM UPOUT OF THIS FAKE UTOPIAN WORLD AS I THINK I SEE IT TO GET TO THE REAL WORLD....EVERYTIME I SEE THE LIGHT WHEN I SWIM UP TO GET OUT SOMETHING PULLS ME IN DEEPER...PULLING ME FROM MY ANKLES DOWN TO THE BOTTOM WHERE IM JUST STUCK.......THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO ME THAT MEETS THE EYE........I KEEP SO MUCH IN AND THAT JUST ADDS TO THE CAUSE OF WHAT I AM........HONESTLY I AM SO FUCKING MENTALLY,SPIRITUALY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINED......
I REALY NEED TO FIND MYSELF I NEED TO JUST CLEAN ALL THATS GOTTEN ROTTEN IN ME......AND I NEED TO JUST STOP THIS WAY THAT I THINK AND ACT.......AND I NEED TO JUST ....GRRRRRRRRRR.....I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE.......MOTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHEEEEERRRRRRR FFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKEEEEERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DO EVERYTHING FOR EVERYBODY.....AND I FEEL THAT WHEN I NEED SOMETHING IM FUCKING NEGLECTED OR JUST VIEWD AS HE CAN JUST DO IT.......MY MIND HAS GONE WILD.....IM SO FED UP WITH EVERYTHING.....NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ME,,,,,...NO BODY SEES THAT SMALL THINGS MAKE ME HAPPY .....THIS IS NOT ABOUT ONE PERSON ONE EVENT ONE THING THIS IS JUST THINGS THAT OVER THE YEARS MONTHS DAYS AND HOURS THAT HAVE ADDED UP AND R JUST KILLING ME SLOWLY.....ITS BURNING A WHOLE IN ME SO WIDE THAT PREATY SOOON NOTHING CAN PATCH IT UP.....IM TIRED OF LYING TO MYSELF OF HOW I AM.....I NEVER TELL PEOPLE HOW I REALY FEEL BECAUSE I DONT WAN TOT MAKE THEM PITTY ME OR FEEL BAD FOR ME......I NEED TO HELP MYSELF BEFOR SOMEONE CAN HELP ME....................................................................I NEED TO GO JUST LAY DOWN AND THINK ABOUT ALOT..............................