(no subject)
I’m feeling a little anxious/uneasy. I feel like I’ve been in a fog since moving out of the last place (on the 31st). I guess that’s due to all of the change and my room being a mess, and *sighs* just not having a routine/being comfortable yet. I’m at least glad that I know what’s going on with the feelings and that I know things that will help. I guess I’m mostly bothered because I haven’t been able to engage with Shannon the way I want to. And/or I’m worried about her perception of me. I get a little insecure about my memory. And the brain fog. I feel like I can’t connect through conversation, and sex has been sparse. *sighs*... Idk. I keep considering looking for another sexual/physical relationship but my energy levels are often so low that the idea of maintaining two relationships seems kinda blah. Idk. Then again when I’m not here Shannon and I don’t really text/communicate so I have that advantage. Idk. I’m tired and want to have sex more often. Maybe a FWB type situation would be helpful. Maybe I’m also kind of avoiding because it just adds more communication and navigating a working poly relationship/situation. Maybe I’ll just focus on getting a routine before trying to add more variables. I would also like to consider talking to Emily more again. I can’t tell if there’s a sexual attraction there or not. Ugh. Kill me.
Oh, and I signed a local assignment with BMC. So I’ll be going back to work on the 14th.
Oh, and I signed a local assignment with BMC. So I’ll be going back to work on the 14th.