The First Time Hurts Like Hell
A Totally Personal and By No Means Acurate Report of the Asylum Europe - No Rest for the Wicked Convention
For all my fellow fangirls out there!
The Day Before aka No Rest for the Tired
The only thing more unnerving on that day than having to work is having to constantly think about the fact that in less than a day I am going to see the boys and girls from my favorite show. Even so much as getting a shuteye that night is an impossible mission. And this is just the day before the whole shabang. Help, I need somebody! Help, actually just anybody! He-he-help!
Day 1 - Meet & Cringe...Too Much in Awe to Talk to Mr. Collins...duh!
So, here I am in Bad Neuenahr at around noon! An idyllic quaint little village that since it's a Spa (hence the name Bad) has a lot of older people walking around. The weather just blows me away. During the weeks before this con the weather god decided to play hardball with us. One day it was cold, next it was really warm, the day after that there was hail, then rain again, then sun, then....You get the picture, right? The only thing you could rely on was that the weather was gonna be crappy. Or so I thought. But, lo and behold, the only thing you can rely on is that you can't rely on anything. Because as if someone has flicked a switch on that part of Germany, the sun is coming out, it is warm and it stays that way for the remainder of the weekend. Bliss!
Our venue is the Dorint Park Hotel, not named that way for nothing as it is situated in a lovely park with a small river running through it (the Ahr). There are patches of green lawn that seem boundless, beautiful trees and flowers, tons of bushes and benches everywhere. It’s beautiful and picturesque! Accidentally (and stupidly) I walk into the back entrance. Hey, how am I supposed to know? It looks like the main entrance, so shut up! Across from the revolving door I walk into there is a wall and there is a list of all the rooms on it and almost every single one of them has 'Supernatural' written next to it. My heart's going a mile a minute now. I'm alone and about to embark on an adventure and I don’t know what to expect (this is my first con after all) and that scares the shit out of me. Jim's here, so's Jason. I know that 'cos I read Jim's tweets the day before and know that they arrived at Frankfurt (where I live) airport and had to travel by train to Bad Neuenahr which is close to Cologne the town I used to live in until about a year and a half ago and in which I grew up in. Conveniently for me my parents still live there. That's why I decide to drive from Cologne to Bad Neuenahr each morning and return home at night. Which incidentally is a bloody idiotic idea but I think I can use that money for other stuff which, as it turns out, is quite prophetic of me. But we'll get to that later.
It's time to register now and I'm standing in line behind a woman that appears to be my age (as I find out later she's actually four years younger than me) and we get to talking. I'm very, hm, what's the best word for it? Talkative! Yes, that's it and have never had problems talking to people. That is unless it is a pretty guy. Nothing can shut me up faster then having to talk to a pretty guy. They are my weakness, my Achilles' heal, so to speak. Because I know what I am and I know what I'm not. I'm no Quasimodo but I ain't no model either. I'm somewhere in the middle, mediocre even. There’s nothing special about me. I'm not blonde, I'm not tall, I'm not beautiful, and, unfortunately, I weigh way more than I should. And that is the crux of the matter! I, as a rational being, like to say that looks don't matter (yet find it very annoying and condescending if pretty people say so; a certain sasquatch comes to mind here, just read his imdb.com quotes) but I know it isn't true. Looks are everything, my dear friends. And the people who try to convice you otherwise are only trying to sell you something.
But I digress. I do that a lot but bear with me, it'll get better. I hope.
Then I meet an online friend that I met a couple of months ago and she is just great and I instantly like her. Her husband drove her here. He supports her one hundred percent and is a real sweetheart. Some girls apparently have all the luck! We meet and greet and walk around, have something to eat and meanwhile we all have nothing better to do but to keep on talking about our favorite show, our favorite characters, hell, anything that's even remotely related to this event. And I'm loving this! For the first time since I have been afflicted with this addiction I can talk, nay, obsess freely about my show with those wonderful like-minded individuals. And I'm in heaven. Until the evening when we have to Meet & Greet the guests.
It's about 6pm (as I recall but it’s all so blurry that I can’t be 100 percent sure) when we are all ushered into a fairly big room that I find out later will also be the autograph room and I realize that my heart rate starts going up. There's about sixty people who bought a diamond package here with me and that's including my two new friends and we are all of us entitled to this Meet & Greet thingy as they call it. There are about seven or eight of us standing at high tables waiting to see what will happen. And then, without much further ado, there they are, Traci, Sam, Chad, Mark, Jason, Jim and...Misha! I talk to Traci and Sam, I have no problems talking to pretty women and see that Jason (the biggest guy I've ever seen with hands the size of pans which make me wonder how the hell he plays guitar with them...but he manages and beautifully so) and Mark are dawg tired, the poor souls. Chad's the coolest guy ever and I compliment him on his blue nail polish...yes, that's right...the guy wears nail polish and he totally rocks that look and he so gets away with it too without making him look less of a man. But then again, he wasn't Dr. Badass for nothing. Jim's just like I imagined he would be, he even talks German with us. You gotta love him for that. And then there's Misha close by and my knees turn to jello. I've never been so acutely aware of someone's beauty than I have of his at this very moment. He is the most gorgeous man I have ever had the good fortune to look at, well, gawk at's more like it. All my bravado, all my common sense, not to mention any intelligent thought I might have had before seem to bleed out of me and there's only three words going around in my brain over and over. Oh, my god! OH, MY GOD!...In my head this sounds an aweful lot like Janice from 'Friends' and stupidly I let the opportunity pass me by to talk to him. Afterwards I just wanna kick my own butt and slap my face for it. But, there's nothing I can do about it, unless someone gives me a time machine that enables me to go back in time and I take the bull by the horns, so to speak,...or something like that...you know what I mean, right? It's this blasted fear-of-pretty-guys thing I suffer from. But anyhoo...
They all answer our questions, however inane they may be and I realize that the one I've been so afraid of, Mark, is actually a cool guy, a tough guy, or so I think (which couldn't be further from the truth) and he talks to us like we're friends as do the other guests. You gotta love him and the others for it. They all of them are open and funny and approachable and relaxed (even if some of them are a tad tired). Misha's apparently recruiting new members for his harem, ehm, minion movement, bedazzling the girls who hang on his every word like it's spun gold. But I'm just second guessing here, I can't be sure because as I've said before I am too freaking scared to talk to the guy. Argh! Duh, Sof!
Thanks guys! I appreciate you taking your time and talking to us when most of you were barely able to keep your eyes open. Luv ya!
Day 2 - Stage Talks, Coffee Lounges, Photo Ops and an Angel Singing
After the opening ceremony where everyone's on the stage Misha starts off this day with the first stage talk, aka Q&A session. Oh, before we start there are a lot of people holding up a picture of Ellen Degeneres (who like Misha and his minions vies for world domination) and Misha finds this totally funny and takes a picture to show it to her. In the beginning we girls (there's only about half a dozen token guys here) seem to be so much in awe that we don't dare ask questions. Slowly but surely we get our nerves up and ask the guy so many questions that I will never be able to repeat them here...just look them up on youtube, will ya?
Due to the fact that, yes, we're Germans (I say we because I'm German even though I was born in Greece) all of the Q&A sessions usually started off kinda slow. But I guess it is fair to say that most of us who have never been to a con before, i.e., moi, are totally overwhelmed by how down-to-earth, nice, funny, weird, ernest, etc. all of the actors are. Before this event they were larger than life to me (and I told Jim so during our coffee lounge thing) but after that I am even more happy that I'm a fan of a show that has so many wonderful people acting as some of my most beloved fictional characters. I love you, guys! Even though I still can't get over this thing with Misha...he's still larger than life to me and I’m afraid he’ll remain that way. But that may change after Chicon or A5. After I will have seen him three times this year. But I highly doubt it!
And this is what I have found out for me about the man that chooses to use Collins as his last name: Misha appears to be a great guy but something is off (and I can’t quite put my finger on it) which makes me believe that he's hiding his true self. Out of self-preservation or because he indeed is an evil genius, I'll never know. But I tend to think of him as being one of the prettiest and most intelligent actors -and people in general- I've ever met with the sharpest and dirtiest tongue and the quickest wit to boot. Well, not really met, you know what I mean, we occupied the same space for a while and sat together on a patch of grass (I'll get to that in a moment).
After that we all of us rush over to the photo studio to have our first pictures taken with our beloved overlord. And because I'm so freaking scared of him I totally mess it up. Thankfully, later on Brian sees my picture and gives me a re-shoot for the next day and advises me to just...smile! Yes, and that will make this better how? I ask myself. The only thing that could help me's a face transplant. But I'm glad that I'll get another chance and hope for the best, expect the worst and take what comes...as ususal... because after all this is the motto I live by. Brian's also the one that successfully tempts me into buying more photo ops ( a triple with Mark, Jim and Misha) and three coffee lounge tickets...needless to say that I am broke after this weekend.
The Q&A with Traci, Chad & Sam is just wonderful. They all of them have such distinct personalities and are such great people. And we find out that Sam's favorite character on the show is none other than...drumroll please...Ash. Yes indeed. These two seem to be as thick as thieves, like peas and carrots. And I absolutely love their camaraderie.
Then another short stint at the photo studio to have our pictures taken with Traci, Chad & Sam. And again I mess up my picture this time it’s the one with the lovely Traci and thankfully (I love the Rogue guys so much for this) I get a re-shoot again.
Jim's Q&A is wonderful because just as I suspected Jim is a lot like Bobby. There's just no other way to say it. He's funny, interested, very intelligent and strangely enough wears a t-shirt saying ‘Bobby Singer wants to show you his panic room...in private’ in German! Gotta love him just for that. Apart from the show I love him because of the book he wrote and because he let's us take part in his life through his facebook entries and tweets. He may be one of the older guys on that show but he is by no means stuck in his ways. He's a sly old dawg. And I mean that with the deepest respect and appreciation. Listening to him complain about how Kripke had willfully misunderstood him when Jim asked him to kiss someone on the show was so funny. Mark Sheppard still has that picture of them kissing on his phone! But can you really blame Kripke for this? No. Because you should have specified who exactly you wanted to kiss, Jim! That joke's on you, man!
After lunch I go to my first coffee lounge with Traci and six other attendees. We go out and sit on the grass and talk a lot. Traci is the loveliest and prettiest woman I have ever seen. She is just the way I’ve gotten to know her from all her tweets: spiritual, nourishing, empathic, sweet and totally totally gorgeous. We even get to sing and play percussions with her. Later on she will write on my autograph of her that I have a lovely voice which means so much coming from her. Dearest tweetlequeen, I will cherrish those few moments with you forever and I wish you all the best in life.
Due to an overlap I can't really go to Mark's Q&A which makes me sad and only get to see him for a couple of minutes. But I have something else to look forward to, my coffee lounge with Misha. And here we all are, about a dozen or so of us waiting in a small room to get to talk to the man. To say that I’m freaked out would be putting it mildly. I can hear that audio loop playing in my head again, the one I heard last night, and try hard not to start hyperventilating. I thank the powers that be that my friends are here with me and wish that there was a way for me to calm myself down. And then he walks in and sits down nonchalantly with his sunglasses on and decides that it's warm enough to go outside and so we follow him. Everybody sits down and I arrive last and see with the greatest anxiety I have ever felt that there's only one more space left, right next to Misha and I totally spaz out! I don't wanna sit next to him and squeeze myself next to my new friend who in turns gets to sit right next to Misha. And for the next 45 minutes he answers all our questions, gets some presents (apparently he likes gummy bears so he gets like bags of 'em and a book about Mongolia). Then he regales us with a story from his past when he was in Europe for the first time which was like fifteen years ago. He flew to Paris and intended to hitchhike to St. Petersburg, yes, you are reading this correctly, the former USSR (which is like ten thousand miles away as I -stupidly- remind him...like he doesn't know that now!). He says that it looked really close on his map. Tsk, tsk, tsk, is all I say! So he actually hitchhiked a couple of kilometers but only got to the next exit. And this was repeated a couple of times. When it started to rain heavily he put up his tent but got really soaked. The morning after he was feeling so sick that he decided to go back to Paris and then decided to fly back home because getting medical care there seemed to be less expensive than in Paris. He got so far as Disneyland Paris and was able to catch a bus to get back to Paris where he remained in the youth hostel for the next three days. Too sick to get up and use a toilet. Thanks for that awful image by the way...And to quote my favorite show: Too much information! I don't think I'll ever be able to look at this man again without thinking about this story. When he got back home he was diagnosed with having cought bacteria and something else too that I forgot (sorry). He had been to Nepal before he came to France and had been infected with it there. The time is up and Misha agrees to have a picture taken with all of us. He is strangely comfortable with all this and here I am still in shock and I can’t believe that this is actually happening.
The autograph sessions are next and Traci and Mark actually remember me because they both write something personal on my autographs. Apparently I give great hugs and it's true that the picture of Mark and me is the only one I can look at without wanting so slit my wrists. And if it's even humanly possible I love them even more for this. Jim signs my copy of his book 'Life's That Way' for me and when I tell him how much it made me cry he tells me that that is the one thing he's good at, making women cry. You sell yourself short there, Jim. There's so much more to you!
Last comes the group shoot and I don't even ask but just put my arms around Misha's and Chad's tiny waists. God, these two guys make me look like an elephant and I cringe everytime I look at my picture with them. Goodness gracious, please eat something guys! As much as I don't like how much Jared got himself bulked up lately but this is really ridiculous. Could you please put on some weight, guys? Just ten or fifteen pounds, maybe? I'd appreciate it so much.
And then, later than planned, we get the opportunity to hear Jason Manns in concert for about an hour. Before he starts I look up to him and that tiny guitar in his hands. But it only looks tiny because he is this big cuddly teddy bear. It's a real and normal-sized guitar and he can really play it. But what surprises me the most and makes me fall in love (I notice that I fall in love a lot that day) with him is that he has the voice of an angel. So pure and he never misses one single note and is never off-key. I should know because I have extra sensitive ears and, unfortunalely, can hear if someone (me included) messes up a song. But there's no fear of that ever happening with Mr. Manns. For the last song he chooses to sing his rendition of Crazy Love and I get goosebumps when I hear the people in the room sing along with him. Thank you so much for this, kiddo, and please come back!
Last Day - More Stage Talks, More Coffee Lounges and Thankfully a Couple of Re-shoots...oh, and Happy Birthday to Me!
It's the next morning, the last morning of this con, and this time we get Mark and Misha together for the Q&A session. They are absolutely hilarious and pretty laid back which I ascribe to it being so early still. When nobody dares to ask them any question they start off with a banter about minions and legions (Misha: I have a legion and it oozes, Mark: I need to have my minion removed, etc.). One of the attendees asks if she can put a ring of salt around Misha's feet and he agrees to it. God, the things that poor guys has to do to entertain us. I feel so sorry for him but he takes it like a trooper. Mark makes fun of the salt ring and places his right foot inside the ring and then out of it, and he repeats this with such diabolical glee that I have to smile. It makes me fall in love with him even more than before. Mark also has to sing with an attendee and then sings a little bit of a song from The Rocky Horror Show. He has such a lovely voice and I want to listen to it forever but, alas, time runs out fairly quickly.
Then comes the time for another photo shoot and I ask Misha, Mark and Jim to repeat the pose they did before my picture was taken because I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don't want another hug fiasco. Jim and Mark do as I ask them to do but that one Mr. Collins has to be contrary and does whatever he wants. The look on his face on that picture says it all: I dare you to complain about this to everyone but I'll do my own thing anyhow! Gotta love him just for that. Or kick him in the butt. Whatever mood your're in!
The re-shoot with Misha is over fairly quickly as I totally ambush the poor guy into giving me a hug. I don't ask him, I don’t talk to him I simply put my arms around him -and with horror I realize that they fit around him twice- and then just hurry away, barely noticing that he actually says 'Thank you' to me. He thanks me? Really? Seriously, I'm so embarrassed by my behavior that I just wanna jump into a hole and never get out again. Bless Misha for being so kind! But as I've said before, pretty (boy angel) guys make me nervous. It's not my fault, it's Misha's! Why does he have to be so darn gorgeous?
I miss Traci's and Jim's Q&A which makes me really sad but we're running late again and I have to go to the coffee lounge thing with Mark. I actually haven't bought a ticket for this one. Two of my lovely new friends bought me that ticket as a present. Why, you may ask? Because it's my birthday. Yay! It's my birthday and that is why when I found out that there was going to be a con in Germany I knew that I had to come here. I simply had to. I took it as a present from the universe to me. A present I had to pay for but that didn't matter. What does matter is that now all three of us, my lovely two new friends and I, can go to Mark's coffee lounge together. Thank you so much for this, ladies!
As it's a lovely and warm day again Mark agrees to go outside with us. I have to confess that he scares me in the beginning. I know it is stupid and it's just a part he's playing but again I can't help myself. I think since he's such a big guy, he's all brawn and no brain but I'm totally overwhelmed when I find out that it isn't so. He is the sweetest guy ever. Very intelligent and equally devoted to his craft as he is to his wife. He tells us about how he almost got bitten by a horse two days ago if it hadn't been for his fast reflexes (honed by his years of martial arts training). He auditioned for a part and they told him that he has to be able to horseback ride for it which he told them he hadn't done in years. Mark decided to get in a little training session and went to the stable to say hello to the horse he was about to ride on when out of nowhere the darn thing tries to bite him but he gets away unscathed. He continues to talk about how he writes a lot of text messages when he has to wait during shoots. Most of them to his wife (and for that I love him even more…again) because I can see how much he loves her. And then he goes on to talk about his two dogs, I think they're dachshounds but don't kill me if I'm wrong, and how much he loves them and how totally devoted he is to them. And I can so relate to that. Though I don't have a dog of my own I totally love my cousin's two dogs. What can I do? I am a dog person and love everyone that loves them too. Of all the six of them I know I will miss Mark the most.
After lunch we meet up with Mr. Beaver for our coffee lounge thing and he too agrees to go out. We are all sitting down in a circle around him when I suddenly hear a woman moan, not from pain but the other kind. I can not believe that there are actually people having sex while leaving their window open and when I look up I see a woman standing on her balcony and she points to a room below her. I point this out to everyone since surprisingly nobody else seems to have heard this. Jim tells everyone to shush and I look at him with a shocked look on my face because I can not believe he actually wants to listen to two people having sex. But he does! Obviously, whatever was going on up there has finished. Thank God for small favors. Next I tell him that he's a superstar and he points at the people around us and says that he isn't because all the other 'normal' (my word not his) people here don't know him. He also tells us of his plans to travel through Europe until he has to be in Barcelona for the Rising Con.
I hurry over to the last Q&A of the day, nay, of the whole weekend. It's Sam's and again I realize how great this woman is. She is one sassy broad, gutsy, not afraid to make a fool of herself, a trait I like in others as I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself and I do so on a daily basis. She tells us the story of her carrying a gun in ‘Abandon All Hope’, not the small revolver she used to have, but one of those really big rifle thingies. And how she almost shot either Jensen or Jared with it. Not with real live ammo but it would have hurt them nevertheless and how the prop guy took it away from her then.
And then before the closing ceremony comes the big announcement that has all of us attendees cheering like mad. There's going to be another Asylum European con next year! I am so happy that I forget that I'm actually sad that the con is almost over.
And then there’s the hardest part ahead of me. Even writing about it now brings tears to my eyes because I have to admit it, I'm a crybaby. I know I should be able to pull myself together, I'm old enough to know that a goodbye doesn't mean farewell forever. But I love these girls so much that I want to have them around me all the time and saying goodbye to them now is one of the hardest things I have to do. But I know it can't be as I want it to be and so I just turn around and walk away from them. Fortunately, I don't have to drive home alone, I take someone with me back to Cologne to the main train station. It's just a couple of minutes from where my parents live and I truly don't mind the company.
And as the day draws to an end and after having walked my cousin's dogs I still can't believe that all this has really happened to me. There are so many things going on in my mind that it's hard for me to sleep but thankfully the cogs of my brain stop working and I manage to drift off to dreamland eventually.
The Day After - Moody, Sad, Overwhelmed, Tired, Tight-lipped...and as Close to Tears as Yesterday
Just a quick word to what happened the day after the con. I had to get up early again to catch my flight to Greece. And when I arrived and saw my parents again who I hadn't seen in almost three months there was nothing...I was empty...emotionally drained...imagine that...you spent a weekend with people you've never met before and when you leave them it feels like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest. Blasted, there are tears rolling down my cheeks again as I'm writing this. See, told you about them waterworks...I'm hopeless. But I miss my new friends even though I know I'll talk to them or read their facebook entries and tweets or even e-mails but I will never get over missing them. I guess they might not believe it but it's true. I miss you terribly, girls!
Bottom line is as much I liked seeing the stars on stage and up, close and personal during the coffee lounges and for some time even closer during photo ops (sorry again for the ambush, Misha, but I've never been more nervous in my life and more acutely aware of the fact of how pretty you are and how pretty I'm not), the ones that I enjoyed spending time with the most and the ones I miss the most are my fellow fangirls. The communal experience was so extraordinarily enchanting that I know it will stay with me for a long time. Maybe even forever! If I'm lucky enough to be able to remember it when I'm an old fart that is.
I would like to thank everyone at Rogue Events again for being so great. Wayne (didn't get to talk to ya much but thanks for organizing this), Paul (he worked his butt off trying to print out everyone's picture when the hardware was reluctant to cooperate and, yet, he was always, always nice to everyone), Doug (you're a funny guy...what's with the bananas, huh?), Brian (for reminding me -in vain- to just...smile...yeah, 'cos that'll make me look prettier, aha, right! And for making me spend my money like there was no tomorrow!), AJ (didn't get to talk to him), Donna (you had a tough job, girl, and you pulled it off), Theresa (who was always so nice to everyone...yeah...not just the guests but us normal folk too), Kati (the sweetest Welsh girl I've ever met...well, the only one actually) and the rest. You guys rock big time! Seeing as thanks to the Rogue guys and dolls I got totally addicted to cons now I will have to learn not to eat. Which for someone of my rotund frame is not such a bad thing at all. So thanks in advance for the pounds I will -hopefully- lose. Luv ya!
So, that's all, folks. Hope you liked this lengthy report o' mine. The next time you'll be hearing from me should be after the Creation con in Chicago and/or after A5.
See y'all at A5 and A7...and maybe, probably, possibly even at A6 and JIB II too!
PS: There you have it, I told ya I'm completely gaga. Thanks so much, Eric! Yes, I'm blaming it on you, Kripke! A woman of my seasoned age shouldn't fall so hard for a TV show but evidently I'm more impressionable than I thought I could be. Seriously, thanks a lot for that weird and twisted imagination of yours and for the lucky coincidence -now, peeps, he didn't make that Crossroads deal, he just didn't...or did he?...to get this produced, na-ah- that had you find the right suits who saw something in that pilot script of yours...and not just dollar bills...something we fans saw too. Bye, Eric. We'll miss ya, man. Don't be a stranger, kay?
PPS: By the way, I have it on good authority that a certain Mr. Gerard Butler who huffs and puffs about people calling him a womanizer is indeed just that. Ok, her exact words were he's like a kid and chases everything that has boobs but anyhow! Own up to it, Gerry! It didn't hurt Warren Beatty and everybody knew he was a man whore. That's not gonna make me like you any less either. Get it? Got it? Good!
For all my fellow fangirls out there!
The Day Before aka No Rest for the Tired
The only thing more unnerving on that day than having to work is having to constantly think about the fact that in less than a day I am going to see the boys and girls from my favorite show. Even so much as getting a shuteye that night is an impossible mission. And this is just the day before the whole shabang. Help, I need somebody! Help, actually just anybody! He-he-help!
Day 1 - Meet & Cringe...Too Much in Awe to Talk to Mr. Collins...duh!
So, here I am in Bad Neuenahr at around noon! An idyllic quaint little village that since it's a Spa (hence the name Bad) has a lot of older people walking around. The weather just blows me away. During the weeks before this con the weather god decided to play hardball with us. One day it was cold, next it was really warm, the day after that there was hail, then rain again, then sun, then....You get the picture, right? The only thing you could rely on was that the weather was gonna be crappy. Or so I thought. But, lo and behold, the only thing you can rely on is that you can't rely on anything. Because as if someone has flicked a switch on that part of Germany, the sun is coming out, it is warm and it stays that way for the remainder of the weekend. Bliss!
Our venue is the Dorint Park Hotel, not named that way for nothing as it is situated in a lovely park with a small river running through it (the Ahr). There are patches of green lawn that seem boundless, beautiful trees and flowers, tons of bushes and benches everywhere. It’s beautiful and picturesque! Accidentally (and stupidly) I walk into the back entrance. Hey, how am I supposed to know? It looks like the main entrance, so shut up! Across from the revolving door I walk into there is a wall and there is a list of all the rooms on it and almost every single one of them has 'Supernatural' written next to it. My heart's going a mile a minute now. I'm alone and about to embark on an adventure and I don’t know what to expect (this is my first con after all) and that scares the shit out of me. Jim's here, so's Jason. I know that 'cos I read Jim's tweets the day before and know that they arrived at Frankfurt (where I live) airport and had to travel by train to Bad Neuenahr which is close to Cologne the town I used to live in until about a year and a half ago and in which I grew up in. Conveniently for me my parents still live there. That's why I decide to drive from Cologne to Bad Neuenahr each morning and return home at night. Which incidentally is a bloody idiotic idea but I think I can use that money for other stuff which, as it turns out, is quite prophetic of me. But we'll get to that later.
It's time to register now and I'm standing in line behind a woman that appears to be my age (as I find out later she's actually four years younger than me) and we get to talking. I'm very, hm, what's the best word for it? Talkative! Yes, that's it and have never had problems talking to people. That is unless it is a pretty guy. Nothing can shut me up faster then having to talk to a pretty guy. They are my weakness, my Achilles' heal, so to speak. Because I know what I am and I know what I'm not. I'm no Quasimodo but I ain't no model either. I'm somewhere in the middle, mediocre even. There’s nothing special about me. I'm not blonde, I'm not tall, I'm not beautiful, and, unfortunately, I weigh way more than I should. And that is the crux of the matter! I, as a rational being, like to say that looks don't matter (yet find it very annoying and condescending if pretty people say so; a certain sasquatch comes to mind here, just read his imdb.com quotes) but I know it isn't true. Looks are everything, my dear friends. And the people who try to convice you otherwise are only trying to sell you something.
But I digress. I do that a lot but bear with me, it'll get better. I hope.
Then I meet an online friend that I met a couple of months ago and she is just great and I instantly like her. Her husband drove her here. He supports her one hundred percent and is a real sweetheart. Some girls apparently have all the luck! We meet and greet and walk around, have something to eat and meanwhile we all have nothing better to do but to keep on talking about our favorite show, our favorite characters, hell, anything that's even remotely related to this event. And I'm loving this! For the first time since I have been afflicted with this addiction I can talk, nay, obsess freely about my show with those wonderful like-minded individuals. And I'm in heaven. Until the evening when we have to Meet & Greet the guests.
It's about 6pm (as I recall but it’s all so blurry that I can’t be 100 percent sure) when we are all ushered into a fairly big room that I find out later will also be the autograph room and I realize that my heart rate starts going up. There's about sixty people who bought a diamond package here with me and that's including my two new friends and we are all of us entitled to this Meet & Greet thingy as they call it. There are about seven or eight of us standing at high tables waiting to see what will happen. And then, without much further ado, there they are, Traci, Sam, Chad, Mark, Jason, Jim and...Misha! I talk to Traci and Sam, I have no problems talking to pretty women and see that Jason (the biggest guy I've ever seen with hands the size of pans which make me wonder how the hell he plays guitar with them...but he manages and beautifully so) and Mark are dawg tired, the poor souls. Chad's the coolest guy ever and I compliment him on his blue nail polish...yes, that's right...the guy wears nail polish and he totally rocks that look and he so gets away with it too without making him look less of a man. But then again, he wasn't Dr. Badass for nothing. Jim's just like I imagined he would be, he even talks German with us. You gotta love him for that. And then there's Misha close by and my knees turn to jello. I've never been so acutely aware of someone's beauty than I have of his at this very moment. He is the most gorgeous man I have ever had the good fortune to look at, well, gawk at's more like it. All my bravado, all my common sense, not to mention any intelligent thought I might have had before seem to bleed out of me and there's only three words going around in my brain over and over. Oh, my god! OH, MY GOD!...In my head this sounds an aweful lot like Janice from 'Friends' and stupidly I let the opportunity pass me by to talk to him. Afterwards I just wanna kick my own butt and slap my face for it. But, there's nothing I can do about it, unless someone gives me a time machine that enables me to go back in time and I take the bull by the horns, so to speak,...or something like that...you know what I mean, right? It's this blasted fear-of-pretty-guys thing I suffer from. But anyhoo...
They all answer our questions, however inane they may be and I realize that the one I've been so afraid of, Mark, is actually a cool guy, a tough guy, or so I think (which couldn't be further from the truth) and he talks to us like we're friends as do the other guests. You gotta love him and the others for it. They all of them are open and funny and approachable and relaxed (even if some of them are a tad tired). Misha's apparently recruiting new members for his harem, ehm, minion movement, bedazzling the girls who hang on his every word like it's spun gold. But I'm just second guessing here, I can't be sure because as I've said before I am too freaking scared to talk to the guy. Argh! Duh, Sof!
Thanks guys! I appreciate you taking your time and talking to us when most of you were barely able to keep your eyes open. Luv ya!
Day 2 - Stage Talks, Coffee Lounges, Photo Ops and an Angel Singing
After the opening ceremony where everyone's on the stage Misha starts off this day with the first stage talk, aka Q&A session. Oh, before we start there are a lot of people holding up a picture of Ellen Degeneres (who like Misha and his minions vies for world domination) and Misha finds this totally funny and takes a picture to show it to her. In the beginning we girls (there's only about half a dozen token guys here) seem to be so much in awe that we don't dare ask questions. Slowly but surely we get our nerves up and ask the guy so many questions that I will never be able to repeat them here...just look them up on youtube, will ya?
Due to the fact that, yes, we're Germans (I say we because I'm German even though I was born in Greece) all of the Q&A sessions usually started off kinda slow. But I guess it is fair to say that most of us who have never been to a con before, i.e., moi, are totally overwhelmed by how down-to-earth, nice, funny, weird, ernest, etc. all of the actors are. Before this event they were larger than life to me (and I told Jim so during our coffee lounge thing) but after that I am even more happy that I'm a fan of a show that has so many wonderful people acting as some of my most beloved fictional characters. I love you, guys! Even though I still can't get over this thing with Misha...he's still larger than life to me and I’m afraid he’ll remain that way. But that may change after Chicon or A5. After I will have seen him three times this year. But I highly doubt it!
And this is what I have found out for me about the man that chooses to use Collins as his last name: Misha appears to be a great guy but something is off (and I can’t quite put my finger on it) which makes me believe that he's hiding his true self. Out of self-preservation or because he indeed is an evil genius, I'll never know. But I tend to think of him as being one of the prettiest and most intelligent actors -and people in general- I've ever met with the sharpest and dirtiest tongue and the quickest wit to boot. Well, not really met, you know what I mean, we occupied the same space for a while and sat together on a patch of grass (I'll get to that in a moment).
After that we all of us rush over to the photo studio to have our first pictures taken with our beloved overlord. And because I'm so freaking scared of him I totally mess it up. Thankfully, later on Brian sees my picture and gives me a re-shoot for the next day and advises me to just...smile! Yes, and that will make this better how? I ask myself. The only thing that could help me's a face transplant. But I'm glad that I'll get another chance and hope for the best, expect the worst and take what comes...as ususal... because after all this is the motto I live by. Brian's also the one that successfully tempts me into buying more photo ops ( a triple with Mark, Jim and Misha) and three coffee lounge tickets...needless to say that I am broke after this weekend.
The Q&A with Traci, Chad & Sam is just wonderful. They all of them have such distinct personalities and are such great people. And we find out that Sam's favorite character on the show is none other than...drumroll please...Ash. Yes indeed. These two seem to be as thick as thieves, like peas and carrots. And I absolutely love their camaraderie.
Then another short stint at the photo studio to have our pictures taken with Traci, Chad & Sam. And again I mess up my picture this time it’s the one with the lovely Traci and thankfully (I love the Rogue guys so much for this) I get a re-shoot again.
Jim's Q&A is wonderful because just as I suspected Jim is a lot like Bobby. There's just no other way to say it. He's funny, interested, very intelligent and strangely enough wears a t-shirt saying ‘Bobby Singer wants to show you his panic room...in private’ in German! Gotta love him just for that. Apart from the show I love him because of the book he wrote and because he let's us take part in his life through his facebook entries and tweets. He may be one of the older guys on that show but he is by no means stuck in his ways. He's a sly old dawg. And I mean that with the deepest respect and appreciation. Listening to him complain about how Kripke had willfully misunderstood him when Jim asked him to kiss someone on the show was so funny. Mark Sheppard still has that picture of them kissing on his phone! But can you really blame Kripke for this? No. Because you should have specified who exactly you wanted to kiss, Jim! That joke's on you, man!
After lunch I go to my first coffee lounge with Traci and six other attendees. We go out and sit on the grass and talk a lot. Traci is the loveliest and prettiest woman I have ever seen. She is just the way I’ve gotten to know her from all her tweets: spiritual, nourishing, empathic, sweet and totally totally gorgeous. We even get to sing and play percussions with her. Later on she will write on my autograph of her that I have a lovely voice which means so much coming from her. Dearest tweetlequeen, I will cherrish those few moments with you forever and I wish you all the best in life.
Due to an overlap I can't really go to Mark's Q&A which makes me sad and only get to see him for a couple of minutes. But I have something else to look forward to, my coffee lounge with Misha. And here we all are, about a dozen or so of us waiting in a small room to get to talk to the man. To say that I’m freaked out would be putting it mildly. I can hear that audio loop playing in my head again, the one I heard last night, and try hard not to start hyperventilating. I thank the powers that be that my friends are here with me and wish that there was a way for me to calm myself down. And then he walks in and sits down nonchalantly with his sunglasses on and decides that it's warm enough to go outside and so we follow him. Everybody sits down and I arrive last and see with the greatest anxiety I have ever felt that there's only one more space left, right next to Misha and I totally spaz out! I don't wanna sit next to him and squeeze myself next to my new friend who in turns gets to sit right next to Misha. And for the next 45 minutes he answers all our questions, gets some presents (apparently he likes gummy bears so he gets like bags of 'em and a book about Mongolia). Then he regales us with a story from his past when he was in Europe for the first time which was like fifteen years ago. He flew to Paris and intended to hitchhike to St. Petersburg, yes, you are reading this correctly, the former USSR (which is like ten thousand miles away as I -stupidly- remind him...like he doesn't know that now!). He says that it looked really close on his map. Tsk, tsk, tsk, is all I say! So he actually hitchhiked a couple of kilometers but only got to the next exit. And this was repeated a couple of times. When it started to rain heavily he put up his tent but got really soaked. The morning after he was feeling so sick that he decided to go back to Paris and then decided to fly back home because getting medical care there seemed to be less expensive than in Paris. He got so far as Disneyland Paris and was able to catch a bus to get back to Paris where he remained in the youth hostel for the next three days. Too sick to get up and use a toilet. Thanks for that awful image by the way...And to quote my favorite show: Too much information! I don't think I'll ever be able to look at this man again without thinking about this story. When he got back home he was diagnosed with having cought bacteria and something else too that I forgot (sorry). He had been to Nepal before he came to France and had been infected with it there. The time is up and Misha agrees to have a picture taken with all of us. He is strangely comfortable with all this and here I am still in shock and I can’t believe that this is actually happening.
The autograph sessions are next and Traci and Mark actually remember me because they both write something personal on my autographs. Apparently I give great hugs and it's true that the picture of Mark and me is the only one I can look at without wanting so slit my wrists. And if it's even humanly possible I love them even more for this. Jim signs my copy of his book 'Life's That Way' for me and when I tell him how much it made me cry he tells me that that is the one thing he's good at, making women cry. You sell yourself short there, Jim. There's so much more to you!
Last comes the group shoot and I don't even ask but just put my arms around Misha's and Chad's tiny waists. God, these two guys make me look like an elephant and I cringe everytime I look at my picture with them. Goodness gracious, please eat something guys! As much as I don't like how much Jared got himself bulked up lately but this is really ridiculous. Could you please put on some weight, guys? Just ten or fifteen pounds, maybe? I'd appreciate it so much.
And then, later than planned, we get the opportunity to hear Jason Manns in concert for about an hour. Before he starts I look up to him and that tiny guitar in his hands. But it only looks tiny because he is this big cuddly teddy bear. It's a real and normal-sized guitar and he can really play it. But what surprises me the most and makes me fall in love (I notice that I fall in love a lot that day) with him is that he has the voice of an angel. So pure and he never misses one single note and is never off-key. I should know because I have extra sensitive ears and, unfortunalely, can hear if someone (me included) messes up a song. But there's no fear of that ever happening with Mr. Manns. For the last song he chooses to sing his rendition of Crazy Love and I get goosebumps when I hear the people in the room sing along with him. Thank you so much for this, kiddo, and please come back!
Last Day - More Stage Talks, More Coffee Lounges and Thankfully a Couple of Re-shoots...oh, and Happy Birthday to Me!
It's the next morning, the last morning of this con, and this time we get Mark and Misha together for the Q&A session. They are absolutely hilarious and pretty laid back which I ascribe to it being so early still. When nobody dares to ask them any question they start off with a banter about minions and legions (Misha: I have a legion and it oozes, Mark: I need to have my minion removed, etc.). One of the attendees asks if she can put a ring of salt around Misha's feet and he agrees to it. God, the things that poor guys has to do to entertain us. I feel so sorry for him but he takes it like a trooper. Mark makes fun of the salt ring and places his right foot inside the ring and then out of it, and he repeats this with such diabolical glee that I have to smile. It makes me fall in love with him even more than before. Mark also has to sing with an attendee and then sings a little bit of a song from The Rocky Horror Show. He has such a lovely voice and I want to listen to it forever but, alas, time runs out fairly quickly.
Then comes the time for another photo shoot and I ask Misha, Mark and Jim to repeat the pose they did before my picture was taken because I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don't want another hug fiasco. Jim and Mark do as I ask them to do but that one Mr. Collins has to be contrary and does whatever he wants. The look on his face on that picture says it all: I dare you to complain about this to everyone but I'll do my own thing anyhow! Gotta love him just for that. Or kick him in the butt. Whatever mood your're in!
The re-shoot with Misha is over fairly quickly as I totally ambush the poor guy into giving me a hug. I don't ask him, I don’t talk to him I simply put my arms around him -and with horror I realize that they fit around him twice- and then just hurry away, barely noticing that he actually says 'Thank you' to me. He thanks me? Really? Seriously, I'm so embarrassed by my behavior that I just wanna jump into a hole and never get out again. Bless Misha for being so kind! But as I've said before, pretty (boy angel) guys make me nervous. It's not my fault, it's Misha's! Why does he have to be so darn gorgeous?
I miss Traci's and Jim's Q&A which makes me really sad but we're running late again and I have to go to the coffee lounge thing with Mark. I actually haven't bought a ticket for this one. Two of my lovely new friends bought me that ticket as a present. Why, you may ask? Because it's my birthday. Yay! It's my birthday and that is why when I found out that there was going to be a con in Germany I knew that I had to come here. I simply had to. I took it as a present from the universe to me. A present I had to pay for but that didn't matter. What does matter is that now all three of us, my lovely two new friends and I, can go to Mark's coffee lounge together. Thank you so much for this, ladies!
As it's a lovely and warm day again Mark agrees to go outside with us. I have to confess that he scares me in the beginning. I know it is stupid and it's just a part he's playing but again I can't help myself. I think since he's such a big guy, he's all brawn and no brain but I'm totally overwhelmed when I find out that it isn't so. He is the sweetest guy ever. Very intelligent and equally devoted to his craft as he is to his wife. He tells us about how he almost got bitten by a horse two days ago if it hadn't been for his fast reflexes (honed by his years of martial arts training). He auditioned for a part and they told him that he has to be able to horseback ride for it which he told them he hadn't done in years. Mark decided to get in a little training session and went to the stable to say hello to the horse he was about to ride on when out of nowhere the darn thing tries to bite him but he gets away unscathed. He continues to talk about how he writes a lot of text messages when he has to wait during shoots. Most of them to his wife (and for that I love him even more…again) because I can see how much he loves her. And then he goes on to talk about his two dogs, I think they're dachshounds but don't kill me if I'm wrong, and how much he loves them and how totally devoted he is to them. And I can so relate to that. Though I don't have a dog of my own I totally love my cousin's two dogs. What can I do? I am a dog person and love everyone that loves them too. Of all the six of them I know I will miss Mark the most.
After lunch we meet up with Mr. Beaver for our coffee lounge thing and he too agrees to go out. We are all sitting down in a circle around him when I suddenly hear a woman moan, not from pain but the other kind. I can not believe that there are actually people having sex while leaving their window open and when I look up I see a woman standing on her balcony and she points to a room below her. I point this out to everyone since surprisingly nobody else seems to have heard this. Jim tells everyone to shush and I look at him with a shocked look on my face because I can not believe he actually wants to listen to two people having sex. But he does! Obviously, whatever was going on up there has finished. Thank God for small favors. Next I tell him that he's a superstar and he points at the people around us and says that he isn't because all the other 'normal' (my word not his) people here don't know him. He also tells us of his plans to travel through Europe until he has to be in Barcelona for the Rising Con.
I hurry over to the last Q&A of the day, nay, of the whole weekend. It's Sam's and again I realize how great this woman is. She is one sassy broad, gutsy, not afraid to make a fool of herself, a trait I like in others as I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself and I do so on a daily basis. She tells us the story of her carrying a gun in ‘Abandon All Hope’, not the small revolver she used to have, but one of those really big rifle thingies. And how she almost shot either Jensen or Jared with it. Not with real live ammo but it would have hurt them nevertheless and how the prop guy took it away from her then.
And then before the closing ceremony comes the big announcement that has all of us attendees cheering like mad. There's going to be another Asylum European con next year! I am so happy that I forget that I'm actually sad that the con is almost over.
And then there’s the hardest part ahead of me. Even writing about it now brings tears to my eyes because I have to admit it, I'm a crybaby. I know I should be able to pull myself together, I'm old enough to know that a goodbye doesn't mean farewell forever. But I love these girls so much that I want to have them around me all the time and saying goodbye to them now is one of the hardest things I have to do. But I know it can't be as I want it to be and so I just turn around and walk away from them. Fortunately, I don't have to drive home alone, I take someone with me back to Cologne to the main train station. It's just a couple of minutes from where my parents live and I truly don't mind the company.
And as the day draws to an end and after having walked my cousin's dogs I still can't believe that all this has really happened to me. There are so many things going on in my mind that it's hard for me to sleep but thankfully the cogs of my brain stop working and I manage to drift off to dreamland eventually.
The Day After - Moody, Sad, Overwhelmed, Tired, Tight-lipped...and as Close to Tears as Yesterday
Just a quick word to what happened the day after the con. I had to get up early again to catch my flight to Greece. And when I arrived and saw my parents again who I hadn't seen in almost three months there was nothing...I was empty...emotionally drained...imagine that...you spent a weekend with people you've never met before and when you leave them it feels like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest. Blasted, there are tears rolling down my cheeks again as I'm writing this. See, told you about them waterworks...I'm hopeless. But I miss my new friends even though I know I'll talk to them or read their facebook entries and tweets or even e-mails but I will never get over missing them. I guess they might not believe it but it's true. I miss you terribly, girls!
Bottom line is as much I liked seeing the stars on stage and up, close and personal during the coffee lounges and for some time even closer during photo ops (sorry again for the ambush, Misha, but I've never been more nervous in my life and more acutely aware of the fact of how pretty you are and how pretty I'm not), the ones that I enjoyed spending time with the most and the ones I miss the most are my fellow fangirls. The communal experience was so extraordinarily enchanting that I know it will stay with me for a long time. Maybe even forever! If I'm lucky enough to be able to remember it when I'm an old fart that is.
I would like to thank everyone at Rogue Events again for being so great. Wayne (didn't get to talk to ya much but thanks for organizing this), Paul (he worked his butt off trying to print out everyone's picture when the hardware was reluctant to cooperate and, yet, he was always, always nice to everyone), Doug (you're a funny guy...what's with the bananas, huh?), Brian (for reminding me -in vain- to just...smile...yeah, 'cos that'll make me look prettier, aha, right! And for making me spend my money like there was no tomorrow!), AJ (didn't get to talk to him), Donna (you had a tough job, girl, and you pulled it off), Theresa (who was always so nice to everyone...yeah...not just the guests but us normal folk too), Kati (the sweetest Welsh girl I've ever met...well, the only one actually) and the rest. You guys rock big time! Seeing as thanks to the Rogue guys and dolls I got totally addicted to cons now I will have to learn not to eat. Which for someone of my rotund frame is not such a bad thing at all. So thanks in advance for the pounds I will -hopefully- lose. Luv ya!
So, that's all, folks. Hope you liked this lengthy report o' mine. The next time you'll be hearing from me should be after the Creation con in Chicago and/or after A5.
See y'all at A5 and A7...and maybe, probably, possibly even at A6 and JIB II too!
PS: There you have it, I told ya I'm completely gaga. Thanks so much, Eric! Yes, I'm blaming it on you, Kripke! A woman of my seasoned age shouldn't fall so hard for a TV show but evidently I'm more impressionable than I thought I could be. Seriously, thanks a lot for that weird and twisted imagination of yours and for the lucky coincidence -now, peeps, he didn't make that Crossroads deal, he just didn't...or did he?...to get this produced, na-ah- that had you find the right suits who saw something in that pilot script of yours...and not just dollar bills...something we fans saw too. Bye, Eric. We'll miss ya, man. Don't be a stranger, kay?
PPS: By the way, I have it on good authority that a certain Mr. Gerard Butler who huffs and puffs about people calling him a womanizer is indeed just that. Ok, her exact words were he's like a kid and chases everything that has boobs but anyhow! Own up to it, Gerry! It didn't hurt Warren Beatty and everybody knew he was a man whore. That's not gonna make me like you any less either. Get it? Got it? Good!