miguel
he said he was "def interested in seeing the show" and then he used an excamation point! boys Never use exclamation points!!
and the thing is, i didn't think i cared if he wanted to come or not. i even told em that i didn't want him to come. but then i read the email and i had to get out of my chair and do a happy dance about it. so i guess i do care! it's just nice that's all.
i realize that a month or two from now i'll be reading back over this and thinking about what an idiot i am...but for now...exclamation points!
i must find a way to sleep through the night...that hasn't been going so well. i think i should give it a few more tries before turning to the hard substances, though.
OH, and another thing...i can piss myself off worse than anyone i know. today we had our "apprentice check in" and all the things i've been griping about for weeks were suddenly gone. i get so frustrated all the time, but today, when people were actually asking me what i think about this job, i can't damn say anything. i couldn't think of what to say or where to start. i don't know, i'm back to the same set of frustrations about myself that i've been dealing with forever and instead of making progress, i'm just finding new places to be frustrated in!
that said though, there's something about me now that's happy in a different way than i've ever been. no matter how frustrated and tired i am here, i haven't once felt like i did that summer.
something has changed within me, something is not the same, i'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game... sorry, just got that song in my head... (aaron, i told you that was going to be my theme song)
uugh! to bed... tomorrow starts early and gross.
and i have to look cute tomorrow...holy crap!
and the thing is, i didn't think i cared if he wanted to come or not. i even told em that i didn't want him to come. but then i read the email and i had to get out of my chair and do a happy dance about it. so i guess i do care! it's just nice that's all.
i realize that a month or two from now i'll be reading back over this and thinking about what an idiot i am...but for now...exclamation points!
i must find a way to sleep through the night...that hasn't been going so well. i think i should give it a few more tries before turning to the hard substances, though.
OH, and another thing...i can piss myself off worse than anyone i know. today we had our "apprentice check in" and all the things i've been griping about for weeks were suddenly gone. i get so frustrated all the time, but today, when people were actually asking me what i think about this job, i can't damn say anything. i couldn't think of what to say or where to start. i don't know, i'm back to the same set of frustrations about myself that i've been dealing with forever and instead of making progress, i'm just finding new places to be frustrated in!
that said though, there's something about me now that's happy in a different way than i've ever been. no matter how frustrated and tired i am here, i haven't once felt like i did that summer.
something has changed within me, something is not the same, i'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game... sorry, just got that song in my head... (aaron, i told you that was going to be my theme song)
uugh! to bed... tomorrow starts early and gross.
and i have to look cute tomorrow...holy crap!