So this is the New Year..
As I've said before, Labour day has always felt more like a new beginning to me than January ever did. I am continually struck by feelings of sadness and hope and nostalgia, regret and longing, contentment and reflection, each coming over me in waves throughout this long weekend. In other words, I'd be a total buzzkill at a cottage party. Took a walk today with Dunkleman and talked about how I was always struck with this pang at school time, part of me wishing i could do it all over again but with the adult knowledge i have now. Even if I couldn't change anything, just observe, I feel like I'd be able to better deal with and enjoy my past. It's the reason people dream of time travel natch-- not to see what will come but to relive what has been. It's impossible, of course, and probably undesirable in its reality-- do you really want to sit through Grade 12 Finite again? No, no you do not-- but it doesn't stop that little pang from coming. Maybe that's part of the reason why people have kids. To try and make someone else's way a little easier based on what you've learned. If not the "little you" then, at least, a littler *version* of you. Or maybe we just want to buy the Lego sets and the Barbie mini-vans for ourselves without being looked at weirdly. Either reason, procreate away!
All in all, a lovely day spent tidying and finishing chores, eating fresh-baked cookies and laughing with family. For those of you following the (friends-locked) faux-drama of my life lately, that too has mellowed on this beautiful fall day. I've downloaded the music-recs and mulled over the advice and.. it really, really helped. In the "real world" and online I have access to a wealth of experience and patience and that has been such a motivator for me. I've been shocked and delighted by the presense of a multitude of friends and acquaintances this past month and that more than anything shows me that, for all my faults, I must be doing something right to have all these people clamouring for my attention. Yes, I'm bragging-- because I'm proud of my army of cheerleaders and the amazing people who've chosen to intertwine their lives with mine. I only hope I can return the favours.
So here's to labour day, an extra free day off when it's all over but the shouting, where we can kick back, relax (or in my case, clean out the basement closet because you're pretty sure something died in there behind the 5 pairs of skates) and reflect on where the year has taken us so far. Don't think too hard. Still miles to go before we sleep.
All in all, a lovely day spent tidying and finishing chores, eating fresh-baked cookies and laughing with family. For those of you following the (friends-locked) faux-drama of my life lately, that too has mellowed on this beautiful fall day. I've downloaded the music-recs and mulled over the advice and.. it really, really helped. In the "real world" and online I have access to a wealth of experience and patience and that has been such a motivator for me. I've been shocked and delighted by the presense of a multitude of friends and acquaintances this past month and that more than anything shows me that, for all my faults, I must be doing something right to have all these people clamouring for my attention. Yes, I'm bragging-- because I'm proud of my army of cheerleaders and the amazing people who've chosen to intertwine their lives with mine. I only hope I can return the favours.
So here's to labour day, an extra free day off when it's all over but the shouting, where we can kick back, relax (or in my case, clean out the basement closet because you're pretty sure something died in there behind the 5 pairs of skates) and reflect on where the year has taken us so far. Don't think too hard. Still miles to go before we sleep.