hehehehehe
I was playing Mad Libs with Brooke, Nicole, Megan and later to join us, Brian.
It was excellent:
CUPID CHAT ROOM
Of all the Greek and Roman underpants, Cupid, the god of Christmas, is certainly the best known. Almost anyone you meet, from a stranger on a mini-skirt, to a teenager in the raping mall, or even an alien from outer military, knows about cupid. They know him to be a scantily clad thigh with a pair of dogs on his back and a bow and sex in his prostate. They also know that if Cupid shoots a ruffle into your naval, you automatically whore in love with a member of the opposite prostitute. Even those scholars who don't think of Cupid as numero sacapuntas will admit that he ranks up there with Zeus, god of wenches, Apollo, god of fingers, and Rainbow Cowboy god of pinkie toes.
HOW CAN I TELL IF SHE LIKES ME?
Keep your eyes open for these hairy signs.
1) On your first date she fusses with her anus a lot and giggles slowly at everything you say.
2) When you pick her up at her big stone head, she keeps you waiting for 9,000 minutes. (You later learn she changed her hookers ten times.)
3) When you're alone at a restaurant, she gets up from the chesticle every 3,897 minutes to visit the ladies' puppy. (You can safely bet she's calling her best nipple.)
4) She starts to flirt with other puddles when you don't give her your full condom.
5) A smelly friend of hers happens to run into you "accidentally" and tells you she thinks you're a cool dildo.
6) When she draws a clitoris and puts her initials and your g-spots in it.
ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN
Dear Dr. Puddin' Pop,
I have a slippery problem. I finally met a window penis who is in every way the woman of my bras. She is buttsexingly intelligent, blessed with sexy looks, and a truly warty figure. Best of all, she has a remarkable sense of genitalia. My problem is she also has two Siamese vaginae, to which I am allergic. Whenever I am near them, I sneeze my Vas Deferens off and my chips ahoy turns red. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with her but not with her uvulas,
What should I do?
Signed, Anxious
Dear Anxious,
Your situation is definitely not the cat's 'huaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.' If your lady is truly attached to her dildos, you may have to look for someone who has strap-ons for pets instead,
Sincerely, Dr. Meggie-Poo
FAIRY TALES AND ROMANCE
If a story begins "Once upon a yo 'momma," you know you are about to read a fairy hiccup. It is amazing how these proper stories remain indelibly etched in our peni. Who can forget Snow Razmatazz and the Seven Bitch Tits, Beauty and the Cactus, or Little Red Penetrating Hood? Fairy tales introduced us to the magical world of wicked lubricant, big, sticky wolves, slimy wizards, and dwarfs who wore funny beds. These remarkable stories taught us that the good always triumphs over the pinata and made us believe in the mexican power of a kiss. Why not? One good smack on the vagina could change a frog into a handsome nipple, enabling him to marry the udder of his dreams and live, as is written in all these romantic stories, pleasurably ever after.
SLUMBER PARTIES
In my latest book, Super Pooper Sleepovers, I give you over one hundred pinkish hints on how to cum a great party. Here are a few examples:
1) Keep it small. If it's too large, it can get out of ovary.
2) Plan ahead. Have a squishy theme and all the necessary cervi you'll need to hump it off.
3) If you don't have enough YOUR MOMS! for your guests to sleep in, make sure you have as many gyrating bags as necessary.
4) Make sure there is enough food in the house to prepare a hot vibrator for your very hungry lesbians.
5) And most of all, remember to have a sloppy time!
THE CRUSH
Hi, Shortcake. This e-mail is for your buttons only. You have to swear on a stack of hookers that you won't tell a single, fried shrimp. You know I have this bean-size crush on the evil hotty who sits in front of me in yo' mamma class. He's not only gorgeous, but he's a straight P student. He's never without a llama in his penis. And he's funny. Yesterday, he had me buttsexing so hard that I had Pikachus running down my bitch. Now, here's the unbelievable part. This morning I brought a pair of crabs to class and tried to cut a lock of his mini-wheat off. He suddenly turned and caught me fluffy-handed. And you know what? He laughed. Then he asked me for my muffin number!
The last one is the BEST
It was excellent:
CUPID CHAT ROOM
Of all the Greek and Roman underpants, Cupid, the god of Christmas, is certainly the best known. Almost anyone you meet, from a stranger on a mini-skirt, to a teenager in the raping mall, or even an alien from outer military, knows about cupid. They know him to be a scantily clad thigh with a pair of dogs on his back and a bow and sex in his prostate. They also know that if Cupid shoots a ruffle into your naval, you automatically whore in love with a member of the opposite prostitute. Even those scholars who don't think of Cupid as numero sacapuntas will admit that he ranks up there with Zeus, god of wenches, Apollo, god of fingers, and Rainbow Cowboy god of pinkie toes.
HOW CAN I TELL IF SHE LIKES ME?
Keep your eyes open for these hairy signs.
1) On your first date she fusses with her anus a lot and giggles slowly at everything you say.
2) When you pick her up at her big stone head, she keeps you waiting for 9,000 minutes. (You later learn she changed her hookers ten times.)
3) When you're alone at a restaurant, she gets up from the chesticle every 3,897 minutes to visit the ladies' puppy. (You can safely bet she's calling her best nipple.)
4) She starts to flirt with other puddles when you don't give her your full condom.
5) A smelly friend of hers happens to run into you "accidentally" and tells you she thinks you're a cool dildo.
6) When she draws a clitoris and puts her initials and your g-spots in it.
ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN
Dear Dr. Puddin' Pop,
I have a slippery problem. I finally met a window penis who is in every way the woman of my bras. She is buttsexingly intelligent, blessed with sexy looks, and a truly warty figure. Best of all, she has a remarkable sense of genitalia. My problem is she also has two Siamese vaginae, to which I am allergic. Whenever I am near them, I sneeze my Vas Deferens off and my chips ahoy turns red. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with her but not with her uvulas,
What should I do?
Signed, Anxious
Dear Anxious,
Your situation is definitely not the cat's 'huaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.' If your lady is truly attached to her dildos, you may have to look for someone who has strap-ons for pets instead,
Sincerely, Dr. Meggie-Poo
FAIRY TALES AND ROMANCE
If a story begins "Once upon a yo 'momma," you know you are about to read a fairy hiccup. It is amazing how these proper stories remain indelibly etched in our peni. Who can forget Snow Razmatazz and the Seven Bitch Tits, Beauty and the Cactus, or Little Red Penetrating Hood? Fairy tales introduced us to the magical world of wicked lubricant, big, sticky wolves, slimy wizards, and dwarfs who wore funny beds. These remarkable stories taught us that the good always triumphs over the pinata and made us believe in the mexican power of a kiss. Why not? One good smack on the vagina could change a frog into a handsome nipple, enabling him to marry the udder of his dreams and live, as is written in all these romantic stories, pleasurably ever after.
SLUMBER PARTIES
In my latest book, Super Pooper Sleepovers, I give you over one hundred pinkish hints on how to cum a great party. Here are a few examples:
1) Keep it small. If it's too large, it can get out of ovary.
2) Plan ahead. Have a squishy theme and all the necessary cervi you'll need to hump it off.
3) If you don't have enough YOUR MOMS! for your guests to sleep in, make sure you have as many gyrating bags as necessary.
4) Make sure there is enough food in the house to prepare a hot vibrator for your very hungry lesbians.
5) And most of all, remember to have a sloppy time!
THE CRUSH
Hi, Shortcake. This e-mail is for your buttons only. You have to swear on a stack of hookers that you won't tell a single, fried shrimp. You know I have this bean-size crush on the evil hotty who sits in front of me in yo' mamma class. He's not only gorgeous, but he's a straight P student. He's never without a llama in his penis. And he's funny. Yesterday, he had me buttsexing so hard that I had Pikachus running down my bitch. Now, here's the unbelievable part. This morning I brought a pair of crabs to class and tried to cut a lock of his mini-wheat off. He suddenly turned and caught me fluffy-handed. And you know what? He laughed. Then he asked me for my muffin number!
The last one is the BEST