It has been awhile...
Let me first start with how grateful I am to have been so blessed. So many things have happened and gracefully I escaped catastrophe. Financially I am doing not so good... worrying about money has really taken a toll on me emotionally, it is not something I am good at overcoming. I was recently granted a new position making more money, I start the 20th! I thank God for putting such amazing people in my life, and even if I begin to struggle, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Family life has fallen below my standards of happy and healthy living. Fighting and restless feelings have left my eyes dreary with anxiety, and anguish. I need to grasp on tighter, although I can't help but to shamefully let go and fall, giving up hope... I am thankful to have such amazing women, friends, sisters in my life. With out these two amazing girls, I know I would be at the bottom. I am amazed with the human condition of people who can hold onto such hatred, with no forgiveness but only shadowing bitterness in their hearts. My letters have caused such controversy. My dad now feels shameful, and for that he is angry at me. Brittni in all of her oblivion, took my feelings at a wrong turn. Now she uses this letter to get attention from me. I can't help but to feel a sense of guilt, although I know my heavy heart must not clasp the weight of others any longer. I am ready for a new beginning, but I can not over come the ending. I feel alone at times, I feel as if too much fills my plate. In order of my new job I must quit my current position, sounds easy, but I fear confrontation.
I am tired...
I am tired...