GeeGee
(before all I WANT TO WARN YOU ABOUT MY DIRTY MOUTHED SCRIPT)
well, to start everything off i'm mighty fine today! so far this week has been pretty good! monday started with lots of IMing michael and no school! today started with laughing with keith and getting dropped off by Nat! keith is a new friend who lives on the same street as i and he's a freshman to our school but i sophmore in high school! the only two things i dreaded this week was keith and i having our fist friend arguement & michael breaking up with me! but everything else was pretty decent!
well, i'm tired of hiding or trying to avoid and distort what i feel! obviously i like the kid named michael! but hey my dumbass DIDNT WANT TO GET A clue and try to change this result of us breaking up! for a long while now i've been doubting our relationship but still tried to keep up the optimism! & i should have known better than to not act upon my instincts! (damnit! why dont i trust myself!?!-big problem) to sum up everything, he said he took our relationship too fast and "IT" hurts so much inside! pure bullshit but i know its true! cant describe how many thoughts fled my tranquility that night! i was sad, mad, and sleepless! but i got over most of it in a night so thats good! :D! it usually takes me longer! but the day after i thought about how great it was being his gf, it was truely amazing! now i'm single and lovin it more than i did before! i'm still his friend but dont really want to speak to him and then once he says something all the anger melts away! i love him as a person! & i believe wholeheartedly that if we were meant to be then we would be one day! man...i'm obsessive! i was like, just so you know i'm not taking our picture down! thinking... we're still married damnit!!! lol! but i just faced my emotions cried out all the sadness and wrote out all my anger and there it was, i was okay! still miss him all the time! but as always i think God knows what he's doing and does it for perfect reason or am i just too damn optimistic for my own good!
THE NEGATIVE:
i felt like he was just using me as some girl to be with so he can get over his effing gf and quench his desires! also like a dunmbass who keeps making the same stupid mistakes with guys! AGH! & yeah from what he told me he was over his gf but suddenly one day he say i was there for him when he was depressed!?!?! wtf!? i was thinking wasnt he over her, from that point i should of just get everything clarified and just break it off! thats exactly what was going through my mind that day but nooooo i disregarded my instincts! AHHHHH! lol! i'm just tired of being the one who gets broken up with instead of the one breaking up with the person! i'm losing breakup points...lol! i just think if i get broken up with more than breaking it off than there has to be something wrong with me and i dont want to think that!
well, to start everything off i'm mighty fine today! so far this week has been pretty good! monday started with lots of IMing michael and no school! today started with laughing with keith and getting dropped off by Nat! keith is a new friend who lives on the same street as i and he's a freshman to our school but i sophmore in high school! the only two things i dreaded this week was keith and i having our fist friend arguement & michael breaking up with me! but everything else was pretty decent!
well, i'm tired of hiding or trying to avoid and distort what i feel! obviously i like the kid named michael! but hey my dumbass DIDNT WANT TO GET A clue and try to change this result of us breaking up! for a long while now i've been doubting our relationship but still tried to keep up the optimism! & i should have known better than to not act upon my instincts! (damnit! why dont i trust myself!?!-big problem) to sum up everything, he said he took our relationship too fast and "IT" hurts so much inside! pure bullshit but i know its true! cant describe how many thoughts fled my tranquility that night! i was sad, mad, and sleepless! but i got over most of it in a night so thats good! :D! it usually takes me longer! but the day after i thought about how great it was being his gf, it was truely amazing! now i'm single and lovin it more than i did before! i'm still his friend but dont really want to speak to him and then once he says something all the anger melts away! i love him as a person! & i believe wholeheartedly that if we were meant to be then we would be one day! man...i'm obsessive! i was like, just so you know i'm not taking our picture down! thinking... we're still married damnit!!! lol! but i just faced my emotions cried out all the sadness and wrote out all my anger and there it was, i was okay! still miss him all the time! but as always i think God knows what he's doing and does it for perfect reason or am i just too damn optimistic for my own good!
THE NEGATIVE:
i felt like he was just using me as some girl to be with so he can get over his effing gf and quench his desires! also like a dunmbass who keeps making the same stupid mistakes with guys! AGH! & yeah from what he told me he was over his gf but suddenly one day he say i was there for him when he was depressed!?!?! wtf!? i was thinking wasnt he over her, from that point i should of just get everything clarified and just break it off! thats exactly what was going through my mind that day but nooooo i disregarded my instincts! AHHHHH! lol! i'm just tired of being the one who gets broken up with instead of the one breaking up with the person! i'm losing breakup points...lol! i just think if i get broken up with more than breaking it off than there has to be something wrong with me and i dont want to think that!