Time for your monthly report . . .
Yeah, I know . . . I hardly ever post anymore. Let alone read most of what goes on.
This is me settling into a self enduced routine of stability and limited drama.
I go to work every day. I love what I do as an accounting clerk in the receivables department. I get lots of praise for my efficiency and ability to perform beyond expectations.
Then I come home and log into my game, which I treat as a serious hobby/job. I am in a hardcore guild, and I have a job to perform, which I get lots of praise for my efficiency and ability to perform beyond expectations. Heh, I know same thing, different function.
This is definately a conscious choice. I am purposely consuming my time with my game to limit any other foci in my life. All I want to do is get myself financially stabilized, and keep myself entertained cheaply . . . so the game does well.
I am NOT putting any effort or energy in trying to find any relationships. Eventually I will shift my focus back to real life, and try to persue my dreams and hopes for a spouse and family, but for now this works well for a distraction.
Celebacy definately took some getting used to, but it's something I have been able to maintain fairly easily. I do have to say that I miss being with David, but if we had tried to stay together, I wouldn't have been open to any efforts/improvents that he would have made. I definately needed to wipe my relationship "slate" clean.
There's really only one other person who seems interested in me, but I am purely focusing on our communication skills, as our understandings and refrences are different enough to cause problems in being able to get to the base of certain topics. It is improving drastically, as we learn each others different viewponts, definitions, and feelings on things.
I've learned that I HAVE to let a person persue me, otherwise I kill the relationship with my insecurities, because I feel that the desire is uneven or purely on my end.
Other than that, I'm staying in my safety bubble until I feel that I am stable enough to begin further changes in my life. I know I have minimized my social interactions, but this doesn't mean I don't care about people, I am just trying to focus on my personal needs instead of ignoring them or placing others before my own.
This is me settling into a self enduced routine of stability and limited drama.
I go to work every day. I love what I do as an accounting clerk in the receivables department. I get lots of praise for my efficiency and ability to perform beyond expectations.
Then I come home and log into my game, which I treat as a serious hobby/job. I am in a hardcore guild, and I have a job to perform, which I get lots of praise for my efficiency and ability to perform beyond expectations. Heh, I know same thing, different function.
This is definately a conscious choice. I am purposely consuming my time with my game to limit any other foci in my life. All I want to do is get myself financially stabilized, and keep myself entertained cheaply . . . so the game does well.
I am NOT putting any effort or energy in trying to find any relationships. Eventually I will shift my focus back to real life, and try to persue my dreams and hopes for a spouse and family, but for now this works well for a distraction.
Celebacy definately took some getting used to, but it's something I have been able to maintain fairly easily. I do have to say that I miss being with David, but if we had tried to stay together, I wouldn't have been open to any efforts/improvents that he would have made. I definately needed to wipe my relationship "slate" clean.
There's really only one other person who seems interested in me, but I am purely focusing on our communication skills, as our understandings and refrences are different enough to cause problems in being able to get to the base of certain topics. It is improving drastically, as we learn each others different viewponts, definitions, and feelings on things.
I've learned that I HAVE to let a person persue me, otherwise I kill the relationship with my insecurities, because I feel that the desire is uneven or purely on my end.
Other than that, I'm staying in my safety bubble until I feel that I am stable enough to begin further changes in my life. I know I have minimized my social interactions, but this doesn't mean I don't care about people, I am just trying to focus on my personal needs instead of ignoring them or placing others before my own.