3 out of 4 spiders agree...
The other day I walked into my bathroom. Okay, I started to walk into my bathroom, but I saw a spider on the floor and immediately put on the brakes. He/she was a good size, but not moving and doing that scuttling thing that spiders do. Stared at it for a while and then calmly told it, "If you're still here when I get back we might be able to work something out." Well, it was still there when I got back so I put a glass over it and slid some paper under the glass and set it free outside. Good deal. Not your typical "me" story as my first instinct is almost always KILLKILLKILL!
A day or so later I go back in the bathroom and there is another one. WTF, mate?? I can't get to this one so it meets it's maker via Ye Olde Canneth of Raideth. I then wash it down the drain. Granted, it wasn't moving either and probably saw the fantastic deal the other one got so it's in Spider Heaven right now going, "But I didn't think it was my time to go...I never thought she'd pull the trigger..."
THEN (goggle-eyed) I go to get in the shower and move the shower curtain and there is ah-nutha one! It scrambles around the bottom of the tub and joins his friend at the Pearly Gates. This one was bigger and I didn't give it a chance to play Deal or No Deal. It was NO DEAL from the very beginning. I made a noise that sounded a lot like hee-hee-hee-huuuuuuuuuuuu when I ran to grab the bug spray.
THEN TODAY, I go to look through some files in my office that I have packed away in a box. A spider SO LARGE that I can actually hear it's little feet goes tap dancing across the lid. I thought there was actually two under the files, but after much flailing and running into walls someone told me that it was actually just the one spider. The other thing I saw was it's shell. It's shell. *pointed look* It's...shell!! The damn thing had shed it's skin. That tells you how big it was. I only thought the really, really big spiders did that.
OMGWTF. I'm going to be scratching and itching and jumping for days now. *twitches* <---And not in the good Nando Torres way either.