Government Paper, Spring 2010

[serenemiss]

So I did what I promised myself I wouldn't- delayed starting on my government paper until it was due. I wrote most of this yesterday (Monday) and just now finished it. Hooray! :D Don't judge this paper too harshly... I wrote it all in about six hours, maybe less considering the breaks I took. I got the required five pages, and it's not completely

Comments

[ayeellelleye]

As for my own opinion; I think that Brown v. Board of Education was very important in paving the way for the future civil rights movement ((you do not need to say "as for my opinion" or anything like that. it's a hesitance in writing; we know it's your opinion, so you need to stand firm with it. say "I think" and just go on with it [:)). Who knows how long integration would have taken without Brown, or if it would have ever happened ((is this a question?)). It is possible that without Brown II occurring, integration would have happened. One can make the argument that more peaceable and longer-lasting harmony between races can happen if the barriers between them are removed and laws that force mixing are not applied ((are you making the argument? this paragraph is your opinion...don't forget that [:)). Brown I was definitely the right step, but in some ways, Brown II and Swann were not required. Full integration would’ve taken longer, but it might’ve been more peacefully done. But a counter-argument to that viewpoint would be the people that are very entrenched in their ways and dislike change- if there were no mandates compelling them to mix with other races, they could very well still be willfully segregating.

Brown v. Board of Education was a landmark case, and remains to this day an important piece of American history; not only for what it did in the 1950s and 1960s, but for its ongoing legacy ((this conclusion should probably be a little bigger...maybe do a whole "so what" on the entire paper. if it's allowed, say what you got out of researching and learning about this. if you're not allowed in the paper, talk about the lives it's changed or something like that~)).

all in all, this is a very well-written paper. your writing style is very simple and for the most part, you get it out in one solid motion. really all i said within your paper were just things to keep in mind...this is an excellent paper, especially for a draft [: taking with what i said and revisiting it yourself, though, will really beef it up and kick it up to an astounding paper. good job!