okay, okay, fine. here's the gist of it, becaue the MDD thing isn't much helping. And this will be confusing, so be ready.
My best friend, guywise, in the world is Dylan. You don't know him. I talk to him daily online, but i might as well be talking in person. I know him in person and I see him sometimes. And please, don't think that the way we talk together is like normal chatting. I am talking to him in person as far as i'm concerned.
I guess for a while i've liked him, and i guess for a while he's liked me. Last summer, we sort of 'confessed.'. And it scared the shit out of me for whatever reason. I still don't know why. It's weird to, because I do want to be with him. But I keep getting a bad feeing in my stomach, that maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I've talked to him more since I wrote this, and though the feeling has mostly gone away, I"m still scared out of my mind. I try to take a leap of faith, like you told me, but i'm still scared. And when I think of seeing him in person, I get so nervous it's not even funny.
Last time this happened, over the summer, I took everything back and was to scared to speak to him for like, a month and a half. I don't want to do that again, but I"m so scared. Theres really nothing you or anyone else can do about this, only i can figure out which is worse: being scared for however long or losing someone important to me.
My best friend, guywise, in the world is Dylan. You don't know him. I talk to him daily online, but i might as well be talking in person. I know him in person and I see him sometimes. And please, don't think that the way we talk together is like normal chatting. I am talking to him in person as far as i'm concerned.
I guess for a while i've liked him, and i guess for a while he's liked me. Last summer, we sort of 'confessed.'. And it scared the shit out of me for whatever reason. I still don't know why. It's weird to, because I do want to be with him. But I keep getting a bad feeing in my stomach, that maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I've talked to him more since I wrote this, and though the feeling has mostly gone away, I"m still scared out of my mind. I try to take a leap of faith, like you told me, but i'm still scared. And when I think of seeing him in person, I get so nervous it's not even funny.
Last time this happened, over the summer, I took everything back and was to scared to speak to him for like, a month and a half. I don't want to do that again, but I"m so scared. Theres really nothing you or anyone else can do about this, only i can figure out which is worse: being scared for however long or losing someone important to me.
Thank you for caring Jules...it means a lot.
And Anchors rock!
Much love
Maggie
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