(no subject)
I wish the world would stop lying to me and telling me that I can make it.
For at least 12 years i've wanted to be a marine biologist. i've gone from saying 'oceanographer' at 6 to 'bioacoustics and studying the social crowds of orca whales' at sixteen.
but that's all done now. because i realized how pointless it is for me too hope.
I'm not smart enough for college. Fuck any of you guys who think I'm fishing for compliments. Or sympathy. I don't want it. But I"m not smart enough. Not compared to the people I go to school with.
I can't afford it. And if I can, I'll be in debt forever.
I'm going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere for the rest of my life.
For the rest of my goddamn life.
I put everything marine biology and anything hipeful in a box and covered it up. I can't stand to look at it anymore. I can't stand the false hope it gives me.
12 years of being stupid. I finally woke up.
For at least 12 years i've wanted to be a marine biologist. i've gone from saying 'oceanographer' at 6 to 'bioacoustics and studying the social crowds of orca whales' at sixteen.
but that's all done now. because i realized how pointless it is for me too hope.
I'm not smart enough for college. Fuck any of you guys who think I'm fishing for compliments. Or sympathy. I don't want it. But I"m not smart enough. Not compared to the people I go to school with.
I can't afford it. And if I can, I'll be in debt forever.
I'm going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere for the rest of my life.
For the rest of my goddamn life.
I put everything marine biology and anything hipeful in a box and covered it up. I can't stand to look at it anymore. I can't stand the false hope it gives me.
12 years of being stupid. I finally woke up.