everything in 3's and karma
Sometimes i feel like there is no hope from getting out from under my problems. I do my best to tell myself that at this difficult point all i have to do is get through my next breath. If i can do that then i will survive the storm and everything will be ok. Breathing is the key to success. At times i feel like there is no end in sight from my torment, that my problems will never go away...that i'll never have an end to them. Then i remind myself of the what my grandma used to tell me while she was at chemo, or whenever she was in a bad spot. "this too shall pass" there were a few verses that she always loved to repeat..that was one. Sometimes i feel like everyone is out to get me (hey just cause your paranoid doesn't mean they arn't out to get you). Then i remember what my grandma used to say to me after i had been bad and hurt myself "thats God getting you back" as in romans 12 "vengence is mine i will repay sayth the lord". I've found this to be very true in life. God or karma...what ever you call it works. you just need patients...you just need to remember to breathe. I've also found that when things get to their worst...a miracle always comes through to rescue me. I just need to be willing to dig for the help i need and recognize it when it comes. With enough percistance you'll find the open window.
I remind myself of all of this frequently. Sometimes i don't believe it. So i remeber all the times that i thought what was happening was unbearable...i remember how it turned out in the end. I remember that everything passes and eventually i will be happy and carefree again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...i just have to make it around the bend.
Unfortunate events come in 3's...divorce, slander, money stuff. Good things also come in 3's...job, vehicle, new home (well i don't have a new home yet).
I fell kinda selfish at times. Because i think the things i endure are so horrible. I'm so fortunate that they are only emotional. There are people in endless physcial torment everyday. Andy endures so much. I feel that i should not feel the way i do because there are so many who suffer much more than i every day. But at the same time for me each new trial which burdens me so greatly is the worst i have ever endured. Granted it does make future similar situations far eaiser to handle. With tribulation comes knowledge. After your body destroys a disease it remembers how to fight it again and how to prevent it. Even if it can't prevent it the battle to destroy it isn't as hard as before. I suppose thats a good way to look at it...i'm building antibodies.
This too shall pass and the lord will have his vengence. i only hope i haven't been to blind to my misdeeds that my karma is worse. I generally know when i deserve things...i'm certainly not blameless. I've caused my fair share of problems in our marriage and i know that...especially at the end, maybe part of me is trying to make amends now...don't know...i think i'm nuts. well i've got to find an apt...preferable one that allows cats...and have got to look at vehicles. All will be well. Life will go on...and i will keep breathing
I remind myself of all of this frequently. Sometimes i don't believe it. So i remeber all the times that i thought what was happening was unbearable...i remember how it turned out in the end. I remember that everything passes and eventually i will be happy and carefree again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...i just have to make it around the bend.
Unfortunate events come in 3's...divorce, slander, money stuff. Good things also come in 3's...job, vehicle, new home (well i don't have a new home yet).
I fell kinda selfish at times. Because i think the things i endure are so horrible. I'm so fortunate that they are only emotional. There are people in endless physcial torment everyday. Andy endures so much. I feel that i should not feel the way i do because there are so many who suffer much more than i every day. But at the same time for me each new trial which burdens me so greatly is the worst i have ever endured. Granted it does make future similar situations far eaiser to handle. With tribulation comes knowledge. After your body destroys a disease it remembers how to fight it again and how to prevent it. Even if it can't prevent it the battle to destroy it isn't as hard as before. I suppose thats a good way to look at it...i'm building antibodies.
This too shall pass and the lord will have his vengence. i only hope i haven't been to blind to my misdeeds that my karma is worse. I generally know when i deserve things...i'm certainly not blameless. I've caused my fair share of problems in our marriage and i know that...especially at the end, maybe part of me is trying to make amends now...don't know...i think i'm nuts. well i've got to find an apt...preferable one that allows cats...and have got to look at vehicles. All will be well. Life will go on...and i will keep breathing