(no subject)
honestly... everyone can fuck themselves. im so sick of caring about people and then seeing them and just wanting to scream at them and run off crying. i hate everybody. i hate myself... especially myself. im sick of "ruining peoples lives" and im sick of people saying they care about me but dont show it.
where did i go wrong? wut the fuck did i do that was so friggin terrible. are people really THAT much happier once im outta their lives? well then fine... i dont wanna keep hurting people. dont wanna keep screwing things up and breaking peoples trust and talking shit and all the things i have done to people over the past couple months.
and now crystals back in my life. and im too confused and self-doubting to tell her to go away. instead, i act like we are back to the way things were. instead, i fake a smile and then go home and cry even harder.
u suck. she sucks. he sucks. it sucks. life sucks. i dunno, pick one... i could probably find half a dozen situations for each.
sams a complainer. fine, fuck u... im not forcing u to read this. skip over this one... im not asking for anything. but who the hell am i gonna vent to day after day about my constant depression? no person i know would either want or need to hear about any of it. and writing it on paper is too shut in. so livejournal becomes my new best friend. honestly, if u dont wanna read my constant bitching than either skip over my entries, or delete me from your friends list. i wanna give u fair warning so u dont bring it back to me later. i learn from my mistakes.
where did i go wrong? wut the fuck did i do that was so friggin terrible. are people really THAT much happier once im outta their lives? well then fine... i dont wanna keep hurting people. dont wanna keep screwing things up and breaking peoples trust and talking shit and all the things i have done to people over the past couple months.
and now crystals back in my life. and im too confused and self-doubting to tell her to go away. instead, i act like we are back to the way things were. instead, i fake a smile and then go home and cry even harder.
u suck. she sucks. he sucks. it sucks. life sucks. i dunno, pick one... i could probably find half a dozen situations for each.
sams a complainer. fine, fuck u... im not forcing u to read this. skip over this one... im not asking for anything. but who the hell am i gonna vent to day after day about my constant depression? no person i know would either want or need to hear about any of it. and writing it on paper is too shut in. so livejournal becomes my new best friend. honestly, if u dont wanna read my constant bitching than either skip over my entries, or delete me from your friends list. i wanna give u fair warning so u dont bring it back to me later. i learn from my mistakes.