(no subject)
This week has so far been pretty calm. I found out that a girl at work was attempting to go around and tell people about what happened with my brother. It kind of hurt. I dont remember all I told her at the funeral but whatever was said, was said in private. I hate when people feel the need to pass it on. Have some respect. I'm glad people havent been asking me a whole lot about it, because I really dont want to talk about it.
I've been doing surprisingly well. It shocks me. But I think its mostly because I'm in denial. I keep half expecting to hear from him. I have so many people lending their support. Its been pretty overwhelming. I guess I never realized how many people really cared.
I just miss him. I want to talk to him, face to face. I want to watch stupid movies with him. I just don't know how you get past something like this. I mean, he's a part of me. I'll never get to be an Aunt. And my children will never have their Uncle.
I know that God did this to stop his pain and to stop ours. But it doesnt stop me from missing him and wishing so much he could have changed. I knew he wouldn't. I've known for over a year that this would happen. I use to have nightmares about it and I'd freak out everytime I saw several missed calls from my mom. Just out of all the days, I expected the call....I didnt expect it that day. Even before they told us, I knew. I felt it in my bones. I was shaking so bad I couldnt stand. I can't get my dad's words out of my head, "He passed." Two simple words that bear a lot of pain. I never want to see my parents that way again.
I gave him my "Melissa" necklace at the funeral home. I laid it in his hands. We had him cremated with it and Rj's watch (his best friend who passed away 5 years ago with the same problem) I'm getting a necklace with his thumb print. That way we will always have eachother for eternity.
I don't think I stand losing anyone else. I know its inevitable. But how many people does God have to take from me? I told my parents that God should have taken me. Even though I've only lived a short time. I've lived a great life so far and I've accomplished so much more than I ever thought at this age. He never really got to enjoy his life and thats what hurts me the most.
I find myself getting so angry when I hear people complaining about stupid little things. Its all I can do to bite my tongue. Life is too short to bitch about every little thing. Theres one thing that I don't regret with Michael and thats that I loved him unconditionally throughout everything. Now he is with me, everywhere I go....
RIP Aimee Wentworth 10-01-2004
RIP Michael Springer 07-21-2007
If you get there before I do, don't give up on me, I'll meet you once my chores are through....I don't know how long I'll be.
I've been doing surprisingly well. It shocks me. But I think its mostly because I'm in denial. I keep half expecting to hear from him. I have so many people lending their support. Its been pretty overwhelming. I guess I never realized how many people really cared.
I just miss him. I want to talk to him, face to face. I want to watch stupid movies with him. I just don't know how you get past something like this. I mean, he's a part of me. I'll never get to be an Aunt. And my children will never have their Uncle.
I know that God did this to stop his pain and to stop ours. But it doesnt stop me from missing him and wishing so much he could have changed. I knew he wouldn't. I've known for over a year that this would happen. I use to have nightmares about it and I'd freak out everytime I saw several missed calls from my mom. Just out of all the days, I expected the call....I didnt expect it that day. Even before they told us, I knew. I felt it in my bones. I was shaking so bad I couldnt stand. I can't get my dad's words out of my head, "He passed." Two simple words that bear a lot of pain. I never want to see my parents that way again.
I gave him my "Melissa" necklace at the funeral home. I laid it in his hands. We had him cremated with it and Rj's watch (his best friend who passed away 5 years ago with the same problem) I'm getting a necklace with his thumb print. That way we will always have eachother for eternity.
I don't think I stand losing anyone else. I know its inevitable. But how many people does God have to take from me? I told my parents that God should have taken me. Even though I've only lived a short time. I've lived a great life so far and I've accomplished so much more than I ever thought at this age. He never really got to enjoy his life and thats what hurts me the most.
I find myself getting so angry when I hear people complaining about stupid little things. Its all I can do to bite my tongue. Life is too short to bitch about every little thing. Theres one thing that I don't regret with Michael and thats that I loved him unconditionally throughout everything. Now he is with me, everywhere I go....
RIP Aimee Wentworth 10-01-2004
RIP Michael Springer 07-21-2007
If you get there before I do, don't give up on me, I'll meet you once my chores are through....I don't know how long I'll be.