Limbo?
I'm in a very odd state of mind.
I just watched The Namesake (which is a ridiculously well-crafted movie and I want to read the book so hard) and it made me feel a bit better about things.
Somehow, being angry at my mother (like so fucking intensely. Sixteen year old me ain't got nothing on this shit right herrrre) and put under certain pressures has motivated me in ways that I don't think I even knew I needed before. Switching rooms with Anna is certainly going to be a challenge, but I think I realize how this is going to work now.
I'm getting a clearer picture on certain things. Quite frankly, if my relationship with my mother weren't in serious straits right now, I'd probably be on my ass wanting stuff and not doing anything about it still. And I'm getting out of this slump a lot faster because of it. Eventually, somewhere down the road, I am going to thank her for it. (But definitely not now. If I have to, I'll keep the front of being upset with her until I'm out of the sludge and rolling. If I try to reconcile too early things will either get worse or they really will get worse.) It's really a game of relationships. I'm graduating to the next impossible level of it now.
In a strange, ridiculous, I-don't-know-if-this-is-good way, I feel better.
Sleep time.
-Maggie.
I just watched The Namesake (which is a ridiculously well-crafted movie and I want to read the book so hard) and it made me feel a bit better about things.
Somehow, being angry at my mother (like so fucking intensely. Sixteen year old me ain't got nothing on this shit right herrrre) and put under certain pressures has motivated me in ways that I don't think I even knew I needed before. Switching rooms with Anna is certainly going to be a challenge, but I think I realize how this is going to work now.
I'm getting a clearer picture on certain things. Quite frankly, if my relationship with my mother weren't in serious straits right now, I'd probably be on my ass wanting stuff and not doing anything about it still. And I'm getting out of this slump a lot faster because of it. Eventually, somewhere down the road, I am going to thank her for it. (But definitely not now. If I have to, I'll keep the front of being upset with her until I'm out of the sludge and rolling. If I try to reconcile too early things will either get worse or they really will get worse.) It's really a game of relationships. I'm graduating to the next impossible level of it now.
In a strange, ridiculous, I-don't-know-if-this-is-good way, I feel better.
Sleep time.
-Maggie.