epiphanies are ...incredible
For years I've sat back and watched my friends be in relationships. And I'd shrug and think to myself "don't worry Fran, you'll get there." Yeah it sucked being the friend for 19 damn years. But when you think about it, only 4 of those years was I ever really thinking about being in a relationship and what it would feel like to say I had SOMEONE. Boys came and went, some who meant a lot to me, some who I'm better off without, some who taught me lots of lessons. In the end, none of them were right.
I always said that when I was finally in a relationship I wouldn't be the typical girl and get annoyed over stupid things, etc. Well, congratulations to me. I've become one of those girls. And it sucks. But I'm human so that's my excuse. And yeah, fuck it, i AM a girl. Sue me. I care about cute things and romantic shit, but this doesn't mean that I can't hold my own, ya know?
Stupid arguments are pointless but I guess in a way necessary. They keep me on my toes, they test my patience, they remind me how much I love this person. It amazes me how stupid I can be when it comes to him. But while there's no reason for it, there IS a reason. Everything happens for a reason. And in the end, I know I'll have learned so much from him. He's taught me more than I could have ever asked for. And for that, I thank him.
So, after arguing from the 834975th time and having the same arguments and same conversations over and over again I just felt I needed a sign; something to remind me that this isn't all that terrible. Stupid arguments aren't really all that terrible.
I was walking back from dinner and I was on the Quad. There weren't many people around but it was gorgeous outside. All of a sudden I hear this girl behind me arguing on her cell phone. Since no one was around I was able to hear what she was saying. She kept saying, "you're punishing me..." and "this is our relationship and i don't wanna argue..." and "you're always the one to decide..." and "i don't wanna do this anymore" and then she hung up. I can safely assume this was her boyfriend. And she hung up. After a few minutes she started crying. I could hear her sniffling and then she stopped when she hit the Dome ticket place to look at her reflection and wipe her tears. I felt bad and I wanted to say something but I'm a complete stranger, what could I have done?
It was then that it hit me; I'm happy. And it's not like I didn't already know this, because I did. But when you're walking alone and your hear a girl fighting over the phone with her boyfriend over what I'm assuming she did, it makes you think about your own relationship. I'm not gonna hurt him. He's not gonna hurt me. I'd never do anything to jeopardize our relationship and I know the same goes for him. Our stupid arguments are nothing but stepping stones. We can over come them. We can talk about it and make it better. Yeah, they suck. They're frustrating and they're mind boggling and confusing all at the same time, but I welcome them with open arms if it meant I never had to be hurt.
Yeah, there are things that need work. What relationship doesn't need work? But it's nothing I'd cry over, or lose sleep over. Three years ago, it would have been. But I've grown up and I've learned to communicate how I'm feeling (sorta...getting better at this!).
And everyone around me is talking about the future, and next year, and going abroad. Yeah, it freaks me out. I have no idea what's gonna happen. Do I wish I knew? Kinda. Will I live each day and just be happy with the way things are now? Absolutely.
In the end, I have a life-long friend. No matter what happens with me and him, we promised eachother we'd remain friends.
And if it gets rough, and he thinks he can't do it?
Tough.
He's stuck with me.
:)
I always said that when I was finally in a relationship I wouldn't be the typical girl and get annoyed over stupid things, etc. Well, congratulations to me. I've become one of those girls. And it sucks. But I'm human so that's my excuse. And yeah, fuck it, i AM a girl. Sue me. I care about cute things and romantic shit, but this doesn't mean that I can't hold my own, ya know?
Stupid arguments are pointless but I guess in a way necessary. They keep me on my toes, they test my patience, they remind me how much I love this person. It amazes me how stupid I can be when it comes to him. But while there's no reason for it, there IS a reason. Everything happens for a reason. And in the end, I know I'll have learned so much from him. He's taught me more than I could have ever asked for. And for that, I thank him.
So, after arguing from the 834975th time and having the same arguments and same conversations over and over again I just felt I needed a sign; something to remind me that this isn't all that terrible. Stupid arguments aren't really all that terrible.
I was walking back from dinner and I was on the Quad. There weren't many people around but it was gorgeous outside. All of a sudden I hear this girl behind me arguing on her cell phone. Since no one was around I was able to hear what she was saying. She kept saying, "you're punishing me..." and "this is our relationship and i don't wanna argue..." and "you're always the one to decide..." and "i don't wanna do this anymore" and then she hung up. I can safely assume this was her boyfriend. And she hung up. After a few minutes she started crying. I could hear her sniffling and then she stopped when she hit the Dome ticket place to look at her reflection and wipe her tears. I felt bad and I wanted to say something but I'm a complete stranger, what could I have done?
It was then that it hit me; I'm happy. And it's not like I didn't already know this, because I did. But when you're walking alone and your hear a girl fighting over the phone with her boyfriend over what I'm assuming she did, it makes you think about your own relationship. I'm not gonna hurt him. He's not gonna hurt me. I'd never do anything to jeopardize our relationship and I know the same goes for him. Our stupid arguments are nothing but stepping stones. We can over come them. We can talk about it and make it better. Yeah, they suck. They're frustrating and they're mind boggling and confusing all at the same time, but I welcome them with open arms if it meant I never had to be hurt.
Yeah, there are things that need work. What relationship doesn't need work? But it's nothing I'd cry over, or lose sleep over. Three years ago, it would have been. But I've grown up and I've learned to communicate how I'm feeling (sorta...getting better at this!).
And everyone around me is talking about the future, and next year, and going abroad. Yeah, it freaks me out. I have no idea what's gonna happen. Do I wish I knew? Kinda. Will I live each day and just be happy with the way things are now? Absolutely.
In the end, I have a life-long friend. No matter what happens with me and him, we promised eachother we'd remain friends.
And if it gets rough, and he thinks he can't do it?
Tough.
He's stuck with me.
:)