Love Turns Up In The Dark: TCLWY Coda I (1/1)
Title: Love Turns Up In The Dark
Fandom: The Social Network
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mark/Eduardo, Dustin/Aubrey
Warnings: passing mentions of bullying, sexual content, light language
Word Count: 7775
Summary: Eduardo's life is changing again, with Hayden heading to kindergarten and not exactly having an easy time of it.
Notes: Thanks to those of you who just recently read it, you reminded me this existed (and was about 75% done already!). This is the first of 2 planned TLWCY codas, though there is a tiny minific that I crossposted to AO3 that bridges between the end of the fic and this. Title from Title from The New Pornographers song. Enough blathering from me though, enjoy! ALSO AVAILIBLE ON AO3.
The classroom is filled with other nervous parents, all fussing over their children. It's noisy and crowded and stressful and Eduardo hates every second of it. It’s only been 15 minutes but he's pretty sure the first day of kindergarten is on his list of least favorite things.
"Okay," he says, zipping up Hayden's backpack after checking to make sure he has everything, for what seems like the hundredth time. "You're all ready to go."
Hayden is currently clinging to Eduardo's pant leg, fingers clutching nervously to the fabric while the thumb of the other hand is sucked into his mouth (a habit that only crops up now when Hayden's upset). He's looking around the room with trepidation, fear, and worry in his eyes, and Eduardo's heart is breaking.
He hands the backpack down, and Hayden plucks the thumb out of his mouth to take it with slightly trembling hands. He looks up at Eduardo with a pleading expression, and Eduardo has to look away, before he changes his mind and just lets Hayden come home and stay there forever.
"Papai," he whispers, his voice wobbling a little, tugging on Eduardo's slacks.
Eduardo looks back at him, reaching down to run his fingers through Hayden's hair. "What's wrong, amorzinho?" he asks. Hayden had been so excited for school in the last week, but now he looks anything but.
Hayden's eyes drop to the floor and he shakes his head. Eduardo sighs and picks him up, and Hayden immediately wraps his arms around Eduardo's neck and buries his face in Eduardo's shoulder, sniffling a little. "I don't wanna go," he whispers, choked, and Eduardo's clenches his eyes shut and swallows tightly as he rubs Hayden's back soothingly.
"Filho, it'll be fine," he assures him softly. Eduardo wishes he could do more, but he's having enough trouble keeping himself together at the moment.
And then Mark is striding over, looking vaguely irritated. Eduardo raises his eyebrows at him, and Mark stands beside them, fumbling with some more paperwork. "She signed the nondisclosure agreement fine, but look at this letter to the parents she handed out," Mark says, shoving it into Eduardo's free hand. "I found two typos. Honestly, she's an educator..." he mutters, and Eduardo laughs. This, at least, is familiar-and he knows Mark’s nitpicking has nothing to do with the teacher (he had thrown his weight around a little to get the best teacher the school had to offer) and more to do with his own apprehensiveness.
Then Hayden turns his head so he can see Mark, and Mark's brow furrows as he takes it in, shooting Eduardo a look. Eduardo shrugs and mouths "nervous", and Mark makes a comprehending face.
"What's with the frown, Hayden?" Mark asks, running his thumb down Hayden's cheek. Hayden shakes his head on Eduardo's shoulder and sniffles again.
"Okay, parents! Time to say goodbye, class will start in five minutes!" the young teacher, who instructed the kids to call her Miss Lucy, announces enthusiastically, clapping. Mark rolls his eyes and Eduardo can't help but grin. Usually he'd be scolding Mark, but today it just feels reassuring.
"Hear that, Hayden? Time for us to go..." Eduardo whispers into his hair. He gives Hayden a tight squeeze before he sets him back down on the ground, adjusting his backpack so it's straight. Then he steps back a little, because he needs a moment, covering his mouth with one hand.
Hayden looks helplessly to Mark. "Daddy..." he says, voice cracking.
Mark is good in times like these. The thing that makes parenting work for them is that he's a pro at being strong when Eduardo is not, and vice versa.
Mark kneels down so he's Hayden's height and takes one of his hands. "Hayden, don't be nervous. You're gonna have a great time-you’ll make lots of friends and have so much fun you'll completely forget about us in a couple of minutes. Promise." He lifts Hayden's hand and gives it a kiss, and Hayden nods back, lips still pouting a little.
"Okay," he says in a very small voice, lower lip still trembling. "Love you."
Mark smiles-which, Eduardo doesn't know how he's doing it-and gives Hayden a quick hug, patting his back gently before pulling back to give his hand another squeeze. "Love you too, buddy," he replies, stepping back.
Now it's Eduardo's turn. He already knew this would be difficult, but feels it a hundred times over when Hayden turns to look up at him with eyes brimming with unshed tears and a wobbly lip. "Papai," he says again, voice trembling.
Eduardo exhales and drops to his knees, pulling Hayden to him in a fierce hug. He can feel the wetness on his shirt where Hayden is crying silently, and he has to bite down on his own lip to keep from crying too. "You'll do great," he whispers. "It's going to be okay."
He pulls back and smiles, trying to look much more composed as he feels, though he isn't if he’s successful or not. He wipes away Hayden's tears with his thumbs and then kisses both his cheeks. "Eu te amo," he murmurs.
"Te amo," Hayden repeats, rubbing a hand over his eyes and taking in a shaky breath.
Eduardo stands up and turns Hayden around with hands on his shoulders. "Go on," he says, giving Hayden a nudge to where the class is starting to gather on the carpet in front of the rocking chair.
Then he steps back to where Mark is, watching with an ache in his chest as Hayden slowly goes to join them, sitting uncertainly next to a girl with a mop of long blonde curls. She looks up at him just as nervously, her hands stilling on her toys.
"What kind of dinosaurs are those?" Hayden asks, pointing.
The girl looks at him, a small smile flickering on her face for a moment. "A T-Rex and a pterodactyl," she replies. "My favorites."
Hayden nods back, looking a little surer of himself now. "I like the diplodocus," he admits.
The girl smiles at him, fuller now. "Me too. I'm Annabelle. Wanna play?"
Hayden smiles back, moving closer on the carpet to take the T-Rex she offers him. "Okay. I'm Hayden."
Eduardo's eyes are burning with tears, and he feels Mark's warm, steady, gentle hand on his back then, steering him towards the door.
//
They make it all the way to the car, behind tinted windows before Eduardo actually loses it. And Mark is so great, sits with him in the backseat, wraps his arms around him, and lets him cry on his shoulder for a full ten minutes before Eduardo gains some semblance of self possession again, straightening up and hiccupping a little.
Part of it is because of how difficult that was, sure-but the other part of it is just that Hayden’s growing up so fast. Eduardo knows that he has roughly thirteen years left with him, but still. If they keep up at this pace, he knows they’ll be over before he knows it.
//
Eduardo leaves work at two-thirty, going home and calling Hayden’s babysitter (Hayden has been saying lately that “nannies are for babies”), Kristen, to tell her she doesn’t have to worry about coming over today. Then he changes into a t-shirt and jeans, throwing on sneakers and a jacket, and heads down to the bus stop to pick up his son.
There are a couple other parents there, all moms, who pick up from his nervous expression that this is his first time, and tease him gently. Eduardo laughs, but it doesn’t do much to relax him until he finally sees the big yellow school bus coming around the corner.
Hayden is one of the first ones off, running down the steps and flinging himself into Eduardo’s arms, who kneels down just in time to catch him. He holds him tight, feeling Hayden’s shaky breaths against his chest, before pulling back to look at him.
His eyes are red and puffy like he’s been crying, and his lip has a scab on it, the way it does when Hayden’s bitten it until it bled. Eduardo sighs, pressing a kiss to his son’s temple and standing up, holding out his hand for Hayden to latch onto. He does, and they walk silently down the sidewalk together until they get to their house.
When they get there, he sits Hayden down at the kitchen table. He gets him a glass of milk and fishes out the plate of cookies he’d made yesterday night-they were meant to be a surprise for dessert tonight, but this situation calls for desperate measures. It takes about ten minutes before Hayden is calmed down, so Eduardo doesn’t push… just waits.
Finally, after he’s devoured drank all the milk and is set on devouring his third cookie (which would normally be against the rules, to have this many in one sitting, but today is an exception), Eduardo asks gently, “What happened at school, Hayden?”
Hayden immediately stiffens, setting his cookie back down on his plate and folding his hands together. That only ever has two possible causes-when they’re visiting Eduardo’s parents and have to pray, or when he’s about to get serious. Eduardo usually finds Hayden’s attempts at seriousness adorable, but now it just worries him.
“I’m not going back,” he declares, his carefully blank face (a mannerism definitely picked up from Mark) undercut by the swipe of melted chocolate on his right cheek and the milk mustache he’s wearing.
Eduardo beckons him forward with a finger, grabbing for a napkin at the same time. Hayden leans forward and Eduardo wipes off his face, lips twitching upward at the way Hayden wrinkles his nose in displeasure.
“What about your friend Annabelle? Won’t she miss you?” Eduardo tries, sitting back in his chair again and taking a bite of his own cookie. Being a parent has taught him that direct logic isn’t always the best first approach.
“Oh, she’s not going back either,” Hayden explains simply. “We both decided together. And we came up with a plan that if you or Daddy or her parents make us go back, we’re gonna run away.”
Eduardo raises his eyebrows like he’s considering it. “You are?” he asks, making sure to keep his voice in the realm of curiosity.
Hayden nods determinedly. “Yep.”
As someone who had already attempted a couple escapes by the time he was Hayden’s age, Eduardo knows that Hayden wouldn’t ever even try, but it still worries him that he apparently hates school enough already that he feels like he has to threaten to do so. “Hm,” is all he says in response, chewing on his cookie thoughtfully, fully aware of the way Hayden’s eyes are watching him very carefully.
He takes a deep breath. “You know, I don’t think Daddy will go for this plan, Hayden,” he explains, feeling a little twinge of guilt for making Mark the bad guy and then adding, “And I don’t think it’s the best idea either.”
Hayden’s face crumples, like he thought Eduardo was really considering it. “Why not?” he asks, turning in his seat so he’s facing Eduardo completely and whining a little bit. He crosses his arms across his chest and fixes his gaze on the floor, and says quieter, more broken, “Papai, I really don’t want to.”
Eduardo’s heart gives a tug to see it, and he just wishes he could make it better. But he has to approach it carefully-when it comes to things like this, Hayden can be as skittish as a newborn colt.
“Hayden,” he says softly, leaning forward and tilting Hayden’s chin up, only to be met with a wobbly, pouting lip and big puppy dog eyes, the face Hayden always makes when he’s about to cry. He keeps his voice very even, and says slowly, “What happened at school today?”
Hayden scrambles up into Eduardo’s lap, pressing his face into Eduardo’s shirt and crying almost immediately. “When Annabelle and I were playing another kid came and broke our toys and told us dinosaurs were for babies!” he gets out between wracked sobs as Eduardo pets his hair and kisses the top of his head.
“Oh, amorzinho,” he murmurs, “It’s just the first day. It’ll get better, I promise.”
“It won’t, I know it won’t!” Hayden protests, his face heated and red, hair sticking to his forehead from working himself up so much, gasping for breath between bouts of crying.
Eduardo holds him closer, rocking and soothing him until he finally quiets. He pulls back, holding Hayden’s face in both hands. “Better?” he asks.
Hayden nods, starts to put his thumb in his mouth, but then curls a fist under his chin instead, like he thinks Eduardo didn’t catch that. Eduardo grins wide and kisses his nose. “Come on,” he says, picking him up and carrying him over to the couch. “We’ll talk about it more later, when your daddy gets home. Let’s watch a movie.”
Hayden picks How to Train Your Dragon. This would have surprised Eduardo-The Land Before Time is usually Hayden’s go-to movie (with the occasional viewing of Finding Nemo, a constant love ever since he was little)-but he supposes that dinosaurs aren’t exactly a good subject right now. Hayden curls up to snuggle against Eduardo, murmuring the lines he knows under his breath, but before long he’s fast asleep.
Eduardo doesn’t remember falling asleep too, but the next thing he remembers is Mark running a hand through his hair. “Wardo, wake up. Have you two eaten?” he whispers.
Eduardo opens his eyes blearily and looks around for a clock. It’s six at night. He hadn’t meant to let Hayden sleep that long, and he hadn’t meant to sleep at all. On the other hand, it has been a draining day for both of them. “No,” he answers back, just as soft. “We just had cookies for snack.”
Mark pulls a confused face, going over to the TV to take out the DVD, which has looped back to the menu. “I thought those were a surprise for him tonight?”
Now it’s Eduardo’s turn to make a face. “I thought they would help cheer him up.”
Mark winces. “That bad, huh?”
Eduardo doesn’t say anything, running his fingers through his sleeping son’s hair. He looks so relaxed in his sleep. Eduardo knows he’ll have to wake him up soon, but… just a few more minutes.
Mark heaves a sigh. “I’ll order pizza,” he says, picking up the phone to dial.
//
They order Hayden’s favorite, of course, which happens to be Triple Cheese, and Mark orders a small ham and pineapple for himself and Eduardo.
The majority of the meal goes by swimmingly. Hayden chatters about Annabelle and her feelings on dinosaurs (for the record, mostly in line with Hayden’s, although she does like velociraptors which is apparently a point against her). Hayden sneaks a bite of Eduardo's pizza when he isn't looking and then giggles like it's the funniest thing in the world when he notices, and Mark teases Hayden about his loose tooth and it's all pretty much par for the course.
But as they're finishing up, Eduardo makes him tell Mark about what happened at school. Hayden manages to get through the story without breaking down completely this time, which is good, but the whole thing makes Mark look absolutely heartbroken. Eduardo knows Mark used to get picked on in school, so of course Mark would feel that way, and there's really nothing Eduardo can do about the past... But it still pains him anyway.
"Hayden," Mark says seriously, setting down his slice of pizza and looking at Hayden with determination. "Buddy, you have to listen to me."
Hayden is sitting in Eduardo's lap, eyes cast downward like he doesn't want to talk about it, but he looks up when he hears Mark's tone.
"Listen, that boy... The reason he's being mean to you has absolutely nothing to do with you. Nothing. I promise. It's his problem, not yours. He's not doing it because you're not cool enough or smart enough or nice enough, because you are definitely all those things. He's doing it because... Because he thinks it will make him feel special. Do you understand?"
Hayden nods, and Eduardo smiles softly to see it. He knew Mark would know just how to explain it.
"You're the smartest, coolest, nicest boy I know," Eduardo says, only half-teasing, and Hayden scrunches up his nose at him.
"Papai, you have to say that."
"Doesn't mean it isn't true," he maintains, and Hayden smiles at him and gives him a hug. Eduardo hugs back and then says, "Go thank your daddy."
So Hayden crawls into Mark's lap, whispering "thank you," into his neck as he throws his arms around Mark's neck in a tight hug.
//
That night at bedtime, they go over it all again. Mark's down the hall because whoever's looking after Facebook (Eduardo sometimes jokes that it’s Mark’s “other kid”) at the moment called with some problem or question, but he'll be back.
"And what are you going to do if this kid is mean to you again?" Eduardo asks as he tucks Hayden's blankets around him, tight just like he likes.
"Walk away," Hayden parrots back.
"Right. And do what?"
"Tell Miss Lucy," Hayden replies, partially through a huge yawn.
"Correct," Eduardo chuckles, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Looks like someone is ready for sleep."
"'m not tired," Hayden protests, even as he runs as hand over his eyes.
"Right," Eduardo drawls disbelievingly.
"Papai," Hayden whispers insistently. "Tell me a story."
Eduardo settles in, lying down on Hayden's twin bed so that they’re all cuddled up together. "What do you want the story to be about?" he asks, waiting for a response as Hayden relaxes against him.
"Um," Hayden hums, and Eduardo knows what that means immediately. But he waits patiently, watches the way Hayden's eyes slide over to the framed photograph on his bedside table, one of Jamie in her hospital bed holding Hayden.
She's not facing the camera in the picture-she hadn't even known that her parents were taking one-but it still came out fantastic. She's got Hayden cradled in her arms, and is smiling down at him softly like he's the only thing that matters in the world.
"Can you tell me one about mom?" Hayden asks softly, eyes still fixed on the picture frame.
Eduardo presses a kiss to the top of his head again. "Of course. Always."
//
Hayden falls asleep before the story is finished, so Eduardo turns off the lights and heads to the master bedroom. Mark is still there, phone to one ear, lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He smiles reflexively when Eduardo walks in, mouthing “Hey.”
Eduardo smiles back and goes to lie beside him, resting his head on Mark’s stomach. Mark lightly runs his fingers through Eduardo’s hair, still listening to whoever’s on the phone. “Okay… okay. Yeah, that should do it. Listen, I gotta go. …Okay, I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Bye.”
He hangs up the phone back on the receiver, exhaling deeply. “How was bedtime?”
Eduardo yawns. “Fine. He’s asleep already.”
“Hmm,” Mark says in response, and Eduardo tilts his head back to see Mark better. His eyes are drooping, and the sight makes him huff out a soft little laugh.
“He asked for a Jamie story,” Eduardo adds.
Mark nods. “I figured he might.” They both know that Hayden mostly asks for stories about Jamie when he’s feeling emotional or insecure about something.
“Yeah,” Eduardo agrees, sighing. He moves so that he and Mark are face to face on their sides. “I just… I knew it was going to be hard for him, but. I didn’t think it would be this hard for us,” he admits, laughing at himself a little. Mark laughs too. “I guess I should have known better.”
“Is any of this parenting stuff ever easy?” Mark says, note of brightness and a smile still lingering in his voice. “Honestly, tell me when we get to the easy part. I’ll have to savor it.”
Eduardo rolls his eyes fondly, turns over so he’s looking up at the ceiling. “No,” he allows, “But doesn’t this make you at least a little bit wistful for the days when the biggest problem was when he woke up in the middle of the night?”
“No,” Mark says, honestly, half a laugh. “I like getting a full eight hours of sleep, thanks.”
Eduardo grins, moving off Mark so that they’re lying next to each other. Mark turns so they’re face-to-face, pillow-close. “I don’t think there’s ever going to be an easy part,” he says softly, eyes searching over Mark’s.
“High school, maybe,” Mark answers back, running his thumb down Eduardo’s jawline. “That is, unless we decide to have another.”
Eduardo laughs, loud, head thrown back, and swats at his husband. Mark grins too.
It’s something that Mark’s mentioned a couple times in jest, and Eduardo can’t tell whether he’s serious or not. He knows that Mark loved growing up with siblings, and Eduardo loved having a sister… But Hayden was never part of a plan, just something that life threw at him, at them, and sometimes he feels like such a handful that Eduardo doesn’t even know how to deal. He’s not against having another kid-he knows that Mark loves big families and Eduardo would adore that. Really, he would. Not to mention that Hayden went through a phase where he prayed for a brother every night. He just doesn’t know if they’re ready.
“Go kiss your son goodnight,” Eduardo says, changing the subject, poking Mark in the side at the same time. Mark sighs heavily, but pushes himself off the bed to go do it.
“Fine,” he allows, giving Eduardo a stubborn look, but pausing in the doorway to look back. “But don’t move,” he whispers. Eduardo grins, and Mark grins back before heading out of the room.
He pushes himself up on his elbows, listening down the hall as Mark creeps into Hayden’s bedroom, presses a kiss to his forehead and turns off the bedside table light. “Goodnight Hayden,” he whispers into the darkness, and then Eduardo hears the rustle of sheets as Hayden shifts.
“Night, Daddy,” he breathes back, stirring just a little.
The name thing had been, frankly, a really wonderful thing in their life. It had happened a little over a year ago, after visiting Eduardo’s parents in Miami. Celia had taken time off to spend time with them too, and the two of them had spent the entire time calling their parents “Mae” and “Pai”, no different than usual. Then Celia had flown back with them to stay for a couple weeks, and it wasn’t until the flight back to Palo Alto that Hayden had finally asked about the names.
“Why do you and Daddy say that?” Hayden asks, interrupting Celia’s story about something or other regarding their parents. He was sitting next to Celia (in the same private jet Mark had purchased back when Hayden was young), with Mark and Eduardo sitting beside them on the couch. Eduardo was waking up slowly, head on Mark’s shoulder while Mark typed away on a small little notebook, pretending not to listen to Hayden’s conversation with Celia.
“Because,” Celia said, “Your daddy and I spoke Portuguese when we were little, and those are the words for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ in Portuguese.”
There had been a long, thoughtful silence. Hayden still called Mark Mark at the time, and sometimes he got weird looks from other kids about it, but he’d never let it bother him-at least not obviously enough that Eduardo had picked up on it.
“Can I call Daddy that?” Hayden asked, very seriously.
“That’s between you and your daddy,” Celia replied, smile obvious in her voice.
“Daddy!” Hayden called, kicking his feet under his chair. “Are you awake?”
“Mm,” Eduardo hummed, “Hayden, you can call me whatever you want.” Mark rubbed a hand over his back, warm. Eduardo opened his eyes slowly.
Hayden had turned back to Celia, tilting his chin up questioningly. “How do you say ‘Daddy’ in Portuguese?”
Celia smiled. “Papai,” she said, her voice soft. Hayden had repeated after her, pronunciation clumsy, and Celia had laughed and worked with him for half an hour.
“Papai,” Hayden finally said definitively after he finally got it, looking straight on at Eduardo, who couldn’t help but grin. Then he looked at Mark. “Now you can both be ‘Daddy.’”
Mark’s breath had caught a little, and he set his laptop aside. “Come here,” he said, his voice a little choked. Hayden grinned so wide it looks like his face will split in half and jumped off his chair, running right into Mark’s lap. Mark had pulled him in and pressed a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head, and put his arm around Eduardo, who was smiling stupidly himself.
From then on Mark had been “Daddy” and Wardo had been “Papai”. It still feels a little new sometimes, but in a nice, comfortable kind of way.
Back in the present, Mark is tiptoeing back into their room. Eduardo has no idea why all of that came flooding back to him like that, but it makes his eyes sting with feeling. It just hits home how far they’ve come, and that they’re a family, in every sense of the word.
“Mark,” he says, voice cracking around the lump in his throat when Mark looks at him. Mark’s brow furrows for a minute, but Eduardo just reaches for him. “Mark, c’mere.”
Somehow, Mark knows. He always seems to now, and Eduardo doesn’t know when that happened, when the two of them became so in sync, but he’s so grateful.
Mark closes and locks the door behind him, striding over to the bed and kisses him, presses him into the mattress, wrapping his arms around Eduardo. He’s tangled around him, weight holding him down in place like a warm blanket. He kisses Eduardo everywhere; his lips, the bridge of his nose, the spot beneath his ear, the edge of his jaw… Eduardo flushes, panting out hot breaths beside Mark’s ear. “Mark,” he gasps, as he wraps his legs around Mark’s waist.
“I’ve got you,” Mark whispers back, breathless. “Wardo, I’m gonna take care of you…”
“I know, Mark, I know…” he breathes back. And he does.
Sex has never really been something that they’ve had in abundance. At first, it because of a baby who cried all the time, and then a toddler who still woke up in the middle of the night, and now a young child who occasionally has nightmares and seeks refuge in his parents’ bed. They never got to have a honeymoon period (in fact, their actual honeymoon was in family-friendly Disneyland, with their ecstatic son and the Valencias along too), so they never went through that phase most couples do where they just had sex all the time.
But Eduardo doesn’t feel like he’s missed out. Because when they do, when they can carve out enough time for it, it’s better. And they’ve been together so long now that they know what makes the other tick. Mark knows what touches drive Eduardo crazy and which make him go boneless and pliant beneath his hands.
They strip each other quickly, until it’s just the two of them trembling against each other. It’s skin on skin, white imprints of lingering fingerprints and goosebumps, Mark braced above him, flushed and beautiful. It’s the hitch in Eduardo’s breath as Mark pushes inside, his heels nudging at Mark’s back, the sweet ache in every one of his muscles, but it’s also Mark’s fingers caressing him all over, so careful, the pink flush high on his cheeks. The desperate, needy look in his eye. It’s all of it, the intimacy and the tenderness they have every day, only turned physical in a way they don’t usually get, and it’s breathtaking and beautiful and wonderful.
Afterwards, when Eduardo is bone-deep relaxed and Mark has brushed the hair flopping down off his face and pressed his lips to Eduardo’s forehead in a messy kiss, thumb caressing slow over his temple, they pull on their boxers and bury themselves underneath the comforter, tangled up together in the middle of the bed. Eduardo finally feels like he can breathe.
//
It’s a couple hours later, when he hears a knocking at the door and wet sniffles coming from the other side when the tightness in his chest returns.
“Papai? Daddy?” Hayden calls from the hallway, knocking tentatively, sounding so very small. His voice comes out worried, afraid, and Eduardo doesn’t know why. It could be anything… he could have had a nightmare or he could still just be upset from today. Eduardo immediately cringes and feels guilty for locking the door, even though it was necessary. Most nights they don’t even close it.
Mark stirs beside him as Eduardo sits up, rolling over on his side and blinking his eyes open. “Hm?” he asks, and Eduardo just chuckles and leans down to press a quick, soft kiss to his lips.
Then he springs up, going over to the door and unlocking it, dropping to his knees so he’s at Hayden’s eye level. “Amorzinho, what’s wrong?”
Hayden sniffles again, clutches his stuffed animal (that old zebra giraffe from when he was a baby, now tattered and faded but so well loved) tighter to his chest. “I woke up and now I can’t go back to sleep,” he whispers, even though they are all clearly awake.
“Get in here, then,” Mark calls from the bed, rubbing sleepily over his eyes.
Hayden doesn’t need telling twice, and darts to Mark like a heat-seeking missile, crawling under the covers and curling up into Mark’s side without a second thought. Eduardo chuckles lightly, making his way back over a little more slowly, watching as Mark’s arms go around Hayden like a reflex. Eduardo sneaks back underneath the covers too, snuggling in on the other side so that Hayden is sandwiched between them. Hayden immediately reaches for Eduardo’s hands, letting out a little sigh as he finds them and clutches at them tightly. Eduardo squeezes back and presses a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head as he stretches his legs out to tangle his feet with Mark’s.
Mark lets out a hiss. “Wardo, your feet are freezing,” he protests sleepily. Hayden giggles between them, and Eduardo smiles.
“Your daddy’s being a baby,” Eduardo whispers, his tone teasing, making Hayden giggle even louder even with his eyes closed.
Mark huffs a little and readjusts his head on his pillow. “Shut up, Wardo.”
Hayden’s eyes fly open immediately, squirming around to face Mark with an accusing finger. “Jar!” Mark’s brow furrows for a second before realization slips in and he groans.
The jar thing had started about the same time that Hayden started repeating everything everyone said, which was when he was about two and a half. One night while they were making dinner Mark had cut his finger while chopping up something for the sauce and let out a yelp and then a frustrated, “Fuck!” The word was then parroted by Hayden, cheerfully bouncing around in his high chair on the opposite end of the room, and Eduardo’s eyes had gone wide as saucers.
Mark, of course, started laughing, clutching at his stomach with one arm while sucking his bleeding thumb into his mouth, while Hayden repeated the word again and again since it was making Mark laugh. Eduardo, not at all sharing in Mark’s amusement, had grabbed a glass jar from one of the cabinets and slammed it down on the island, grabbing a Sharpie and writing “SWEAR JAR” on it in slanted, frantic writing. He had then proceeded to snatch Mark’s wallet out of his back pocket, open it up, and dump all its contents into the jar. Mark had stopped laughing pretty quickly at that.
At first, that had been the rule: Mark had to empty all the money in his wallet into the jar whenever he got caught. Mark had grumbled and complained each time it happened, but being the sometimes forgetful person that he was, continued to carry cash in his wallet. But it had gotten better, and now he only has to put in a dollar each time it happens.
And then as Hayden had gotten older and started watching TV, the list had expanded to include not just expletives but plain old not-nice words like “shut up” and “stupid” and so on. His contribution to the swear jar came from the four dollars he got each week for cleaning his room, brushing his teeth twice a day, making his bed, and any other chores. There had been a phase where, after a couple of playdates with children Eduardo wasn’t exactly the fondest of, Hayden had been giving to the swear jar on a daily basis for the less serious offenses. Understandably, he hated doing so (seeing as it came out of his budget for gumball machines and stickers and other treats), and so he was always the smuggest when he could catch someone else in the act.
Judging by the way he’s giggling now as Mark jokingly hits his head against the pillow, this is still the case.
“Daddy,” he says, pushing at Mark’s shoulder ineffectively. “Go put your dollar in the jar. You always forget, Daddy.” The last words come out distorted around a giant yawn, and Eduardo has to stifle his laugh behind his hand.
“I’ll do it first thing in the morning, Hayden, I promise,” Mark replies easily, reaching around to rub his back.
“You won’t. And then I’ll remind you and you’ll pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Eduardo sees Mark bite back a smirk at this, because Hayden is, of course, completely spot on. “Papai, tell him,” Hayden protests again, whining a little now. He’s obviously fighting to stay awake, but his drooping eyelids tell Eduardo that he’s soon going to lose the battle.
Mark looks up at him over the top of Hayden’s head, sending him a wink and a crooked smile. Eduardo responds with a smile of his own, which becomes wider when Hayden wiggles around so that he’s facing Eduardo again, clutching at his t-shirt with grabby hands. “Papai.”
Eduardo chuckles softly and reaches to untangle Hayden’s hands from his shirt, holding them between his own and drawing them up to kiss. “I think we can let your daddy off the hook just this once, filho.”
Hayden sighs, mumbling something Eduardo can’t decipher, clearly drifting off. “Goodnight,” he whispers to his son.
“Love you,” Hayden breathes back, and Eduardo’s heart warms.
Mark leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head. “We love you too, Hayden,” he assures him, snuggling deeper into the bed. As Eduardo drifts off, he thinks that maybe this whole thing will be okay.
//
The three of them walk hand-in-hand to the bus stop the next morning. Hayden seems okay, like something about last night loosened something in his chest, because he’s chattering away about constellations, one of his favorite fascinations. He’s even skipping a little, and he hasn’t mentioned the running away plan since explaining it to them at dinner last night. Eduardo hopes that maybe he’s forgotten about it.
He gets a little nervous when it’s time to get on the bus again, but Eduardo leans down and kisses both his cheeks. “You’re gonna have a great day, filho. I just know it.”
Hayden nods jerkily, and then looks up at Mark, who squeezes his hand encouragingly, offering up a smile. Eduardo sees Hayden putting on his brave face, and tries not to let it break his heart.
They watch as Hayden struggles with his oversized backpack a little as he approaches the bus, getting on and sitting down. Mark and Eduardo stand and watch, waving until it pulls away.
Eduardo swallows and Mark reaches down to take his hand. “He’ll be fine,” he murmurs, and Eduardo nods in agreement and hopes.
//
Eduardo comes home at 4:30, only a little early today since they wanted to get back to the normal swing of things , which meant having Kristen, the babysitter, be there when Hayden got home. Eduardo tries not to feel too guilty about this.
“Hello?” he calls from the entryway, setting down his briefcase and toeing off his shoes. Soon enough he hears the pitter-patter of little feet coming toward him at full speed, and Hayden has thrown himself around Eduardo’s legs, hugging them tight.
“Papai, you’re home!” he says, jumping up and down in place, grabbing Eduardo’s hand. “Come into the kitchen, Kristen and I are making paper snowflakes!” and proceeds to drag Eduardo along.
“Hey,” Kristen says, looking up from the kitchen table, smiling a little. She’s young, about 23 or so, and very sweet. She’s a little quiet, shy-but absolutely lights up around Hayden, completely at ease with him.
“Hi,” Eduardo replies as Hayden lets go of his hand to rush back to his seat, taking scissors to the piece of folded paper in front of him. “How was… everything?” he asks, hoping to convey the question in his voice.
Kristen nods understandingly. “Everything is great,” she says confidently, nudging Hayden in the side. “Tell your dad.”
Hayden looks up, eyes bright. “Papai, Annabelle and I made a secret dinosaur club and we drew pictures in class and Miss Lucy gave us all lollipops!” he explains, bouncing in his seat.
Eduardo laughs, reaching forward to tousle Hayden’s hair. “That’s amazing!” he answers, grinning. It’s a little unexpected, too, but that is the life of a five-year-old, Eduardo is learning. He’s sure that in a week or so there will be another rough patch, but what can you do. You just have to roll with the punches as they come. He shoots Kristen a thankful look which she waves away good-naturedly as she gets her keys.
Just like that, Mark walks through the garage door. “How is everyone?” he asks immediately, and Kristen chuckles.
“Daddy!” Hayden squeals, launching into the recount of his day all over again. Mark looks pleasantly surprised, and Eduardo laughs, feeling so fucking grateful about it.
Kristen heads out after effusive “thank you”s from both of them. Hayden babbles on about Annabelle and school and doesn’t once mention bullies or anything of the sort.
Eduardo feels a little bit giddy, enough so to suggest, “Hey, why don’t we call Dustin and Aubrey and have them over for dinner tonight?”
Mark grins, nodding. Hayden is jumping up and down in place. “And the baby, and the baby!”
“And the baby,” Eduardo agrees, laughing.
“What about Uncle Chris and Uncle Sean?” Hayden continues.
“They live an hour away, Hayden, they need a little bit more warning that that,” Mark answers, smiling. “Dustin and Aubrey only live 20 minutes down the street.”
Hayden pouts a little, but it seems that nothing can really put a damper on his good mood tonight. Mark calls, and Eduardo throws together the fish he’d set out to thaw this morning for dinner (which makes Hayden wrinkle his nose, but then Mark calls it “brain food” and Hayden couldn’t more excited to eat it).
Dustin and Aubrey and baby Elizabeth show up, looking happy but tired. Elizabeth is actually asleep, since she had been running a fever the last couple nights, up late crying, though she’s better now. Hayden is very gentle when Aubrey sits him down on the couch and lets Hayden hold her, sitting so still he may not even be breathing, smoothing over her tufts of red hair and kissing her forehead very softly. Eduardo hides a smile behind his hand as he watches, shooting Mark a meaningful look. Mark smiles back, small, and raises his eyebrows, like he knows exactly where Eduardo’s mind has gone.
Dustin elbows him lightly in the side, smug grin on his face. “Getting the itch, Wardo?”
Eduardo rolls his eyes. “Shut up, Dustin.”
“You can borrow ours any time you want,” Aubrey shouts from the kitchen with Mark. “After all, I spent a lot of time with yours during the crying, nervous years.” She quirks a teasing eyebrow at him, sipping from her glass of red wine.
Eduardo throws his head back and laughs, about to respond when Hayden cuts in. “Papai!” he whispers, finger over his lips. “Lizzie is sleeping,” he explains, adorably serious, and then everyone laughs.
Over dinner, Hayden devours the fish and delights everyone with his dinosaur impressions, flushed from all the attention and talking. He insists on sitting next to his honorary little sister, and the meal is filled with freely flowing laughter and conversation, and Eduardo thinks almost feels like they can relax into this easiness.
Hayden tuckers himself out before long, dozing off in Mark’s lap while all the adults have coffee, along with Elizabeth, who is asleep in her high chair (the old one from when Hayden was young). They also munch on cookies from last night for dessert and talk, about the upcoming IPO at Facebook and Hayden’s troubles at school, Elizabeth’s newfound desire to get into everything now that she can walk more steadily, Chris and Sean’s upcoming nuptials.
“This almost feels like the old days,” Mark says after a while, carding fingers through Hayden’s hair.
“Almost,” Dustin emphasizes, pointing at Mark. “No Chris.”
Mark rolls his eyes. “Yes, we all get it, your bromance is never-ending,” and Dustin throws a napkin at him.
“Plus, you and Wardo have all your shit worked out for sure now. No angst. And you’re both past the point when you worry about every little thing with Hayden,” he says with a shrug.
“Lucky you,” Eduardo says with a smile, holding Mark’s hand under the table. “You’re still in that phase.”
Aubrey groans. “I’m looking forward to the ‘normal sleep schedule’ phase.”
“Tell me when you find it,” Mark shoots back, taking a pull from his beer bottle and leaning back. Everything is quiet for a moment.
“When did ‘the old days’ become then instead of Harvard?” Eduardo finally asks, curious. Dustin and Mark look surprised by the question, like he’s stumped them. Eduardo laughs.
“We’re getting old,” Dustin laments, head in his hands, and Aubrey swats at his side, getting an overdramatic “Ow!” for her trouble.
“You’re not getting old, you’re growing up. There’s a difference, assholes,” she says in that blunt, matter-of-fact way that she has, like she’s not taking any of their shit.
Mark nods, smile toying at the corners of his lips. “She has a point.”
“Course I do,” Aubrey responds, looking sly. “I’m smarter than all of you,” which elicits groans and protests from all of them. Eduardo would join in, but he’s laughing too hard.
//
Eduardo eases Hayden up not longer after, shushing him as he stirs, holding him on his hip and letting his son pillow his head on his shoulder. Dustin and Aubrey head out, kissing the top of Hayden’s head on their way, laughing gently at his sleepy goodbyes.
Mark closes the door behind him and breathes out. They’re all tired, but in that satisfying way that comes from a good, full day. “Take him upstairs, I’ll lock up down here,” he says, half a whisper, and Eduardo nods.
He runs Hayden through his bedtime routine, which is quite a challenge when he can’t keep his son’s eyes open for more than ten seconds at a time. Finally he’s bathed, teeth are brushed, changed into pajamas-the whole nine yards.
“Papai?” Hayden finally prompts, rubbing at his eyes and yawning at the end of it.
“What, moleque?” Eduardo responds, lightly teasing in hopes to elicit a sleepy smile from Hayden. Right now Eduardo is fairly focused on combing the knots out of Hayden’s hair, frowning a little at their stubbornness.
“Can I sleep in your bed with you and Daddy tonight?” he asks, voice just an edge pleading, because he knows Eduardo is weak like that. “I promise I’ll go back to my own bed tomorrow; I promise.”
Eduardo smiles, spreading slowly across his face, warmth growing in his chest. He leans down to drop a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head, setting the comb down on the bathroom counter. “Of course you can, Hayden.”
Hayden reaches his arms out with half-shut eyes, wanting picked up. Eduardo obliges, giving his son a hug as he carries him to his bedroom, rubbing circles into his back to set him down in the middle of the bed, arranging the covers around him and smoothing his hair off his forehead.
Mark comes in from the bathroom, yawning, ready for bed himself. He smiles when he sees Hayden there, comes up from behind to wrap his arms around Eduardo’s waist and press a kiss to his shoulder. “What brought this on?” he whispers, and Eduardo shrugs.
“It’s been a crazy couple of days,” he replies softly, and feels Mark nod against his shoulderblade.
Mark disconnects himself, moving to slide in on one side of Hayden, kissing his forehead. “Night, Hayden,” he says, and Hayden murmurs something indecipherable in response, which makes Mark laugh.
Eduardo ducks into the bathroom and changes, brushing his teeth quickly and turning out the light. Then he climbs into bed too, sighing as he meets Mark’s wide, bright eyes over the top of Hayden’s head.
Their life never stands still. If it’s not one thing it’s another… Elizabeth is almost one, Sean and Chris are living in San Francisco and getting married, Hayden’s adjusting to kindergarten and making friends, Eduardo’s having a hard time letting him go, Mark’s in a brand new place with the company, and they both know they aren’t far off from having a discussion about maybe having another kid. Everything’s in flux; everything’s changing. And it’s all going to be okay.
Eduardo knows it’s true because he always has this-Mark smiling at him, eyes full of love, feet tangled affectionately with his own, and his son, the most wonderful, important thing in his life. As long as those two things don’t go anywhere, everything else will fall into place.
“Eu te amo,” he murmurs, closing his eyes.
Hayden’s already fast asleep, snoring lightly, and Mark chuckles, reaching for Eduardo’s hand and tangling their fingers together, squeezing it. “Eu te amo, Wardo,” he replies, and Eduardo sighs happily, letting himself drift off to sleep.
Fandom: The Social Network
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mark/Eduardo, Dustin/Aubrey
Warnings: passing mentions of bullying, sexual content, light language
Word Count: 7775
Summary: Eduardo's life is changing again, with Hayden heading to kindergarten and not exactly having an easy time of it.
Notes: Thanks to those of you who just recently read it, you reminded me this existed (and was about 75% done already!). This is the first of 2 planned TLWCY codas, though there is a tiny minific that I crossposted to AO3 that bridges between the end of the fic and this. Title from Title from The New Pornographers song. Enough blathering from me though, enjoy! ALSO AVAILIBLE ON AO3.
The classroom is filled with other nervous parents, all fussing over their children. It's noisy and crowded and stressful and Eduardo hates every second of it. It’s only been 15 minutes but he's pretty sure the first day of kindergarten is on his list of least favorite things.
"Okay," he says, zipping up Hayden's backpack after checking to make sure he has everything, for what seems like the hundredth time. "You're all ready to go."
Hayden is currently clinging to Eduardo's pant leg, fingers clutching nervously to the fabric while the thumb of the other hand is sucked into his mouth (a habit that only crops up now when Hayden's upset). He's looking around the room with trepidation, fear, and worry in his eyes, and Eduardo's heart is breaking.
He hands the backpack down, and Hayden plucks the thumb out of his mouth to take it with slightly trembling hands. He looks up at Eduardo with a pleading expression, and Eduardo has to look away, before he changes his mind and just lets Hayden come home and stay there forever.
"Papai," he whispers, his voice wobbling a little, tugging on Eduardo's slacks.
Eduardo looks back at him, reaching down to run his fingers through Hayden's hair. "What's wrong, amorzinho?" he asks. Hayden had been so excited for school in the last week, but now he looks anything but.
Hayden's eyes drop to the floor and he shakes his head. Eduardo sighs and picks him up, and Hayden immediately wraps his arms around Eduardo's neck and buries his face in Eduardo's shoulder, sniffling a little. "I don't wanna go," he whispers, choked, and Eduardo's clenches his eyes shut and swallows tightly as he rubs Hayden's back soothingly.
"Filho, it'll be fine," he assures him softly. Eduardo wishes he could do more, but he's having enough trouble keeping himself together at the moment.
And then Mark is striding over, looking vaguely irritated. Eduardo raises his eyebrows at him, and Mark stands beside them, fumbling with some more paperwork. "She signed the nondisclosure agreement fine, but look at this letter to the parents she handed out," Mark says, shoving it into Eduardo's free hand. "I found two typos. Honestly, she's an educator..." he mutters, and Eduardo laughs. This, at least, is familiar-and he knows Mark’s nitpicking has nothing to do with the teacher (he had thrown his weight around a little to get the best teacher the school had to offer) and more to do with his own apprehensiveness.
Then Hayden turns his head so he can see Mark, and Mark's brow furrows as he takes it in, shooting Eduardo a look. Eduardo shrugs and mouths "nervous", and Mark makes a comprehending face.
"What's with the frown, Hayden?" Mark asks, running his thumb down Hayden's cheek. Hayden shakes his head on Eduardo's shoulder and sniffles again.
"Okay, parents! Time to say goodbye, class will start in five minutes!" the young teacher, who instructed the kids to call her Miss Lucy, announces enthusiastically, clapping. Mark rolls his eyes and Eduardo can't help but grin. Usually he'd be scolding Mark, but today it just feels reassuring.
"Hear that, Hayden? Time for us to go..." Eduardo whispers into his hair. He gives Hayden a tight squeeze before he sets him back down on the ground, adjusting his backpack so it's straight. Then he steps back a little, because he needs a moment, covering his mouth with one hand.
Hayden looks helplessly to Mark. "Daddy..." he says, voice cracking.
Mark is good in times like these. The thing that makes parenting work for them is that he's a pro at being strong when Eduardo is not, and vice versa.
Mark kneels down so he's Hayden's height and takes one of his hands. "Hayden, don't be nervous. You're gonna have a great time-you’ll make lots of friends and have so much fun you'll completely forget about us in a couple of minutes. Promise." He lifts Hayden's hand and gives it a kiss, and Hayden nods back, lips still pouting a little.
"Okay," he says in a very small voice, lower lip still trembling. "Love you."
Mark smiles-which, Eduardo doesn't know how he's doing it-and gives Hayden a quick hug, patting his back gently before pulling back to give his hand another squeeze. "Love you too, buddy," he replies, stepping back.
Now it's Eduardo's turn. He already knew this would be difficult, but feels it a hundred times over when Hayden turns to look up at him with eyes brimming with unshed tears and a wobbly lip. "Papai," he says again, voice trembling.
Eduardo exhales and drops to his knees, pulling Hayden to him in a fierce hug. He can feel the wetness on his shirt where Hayden is crying silently, and he has to bite down on his own lip to keep from crying too. "You'll do great," he whispers. "It's going to be okay."
He pulls back and smiles, trying to look much more composed as he feels, though he isn't if he’s successful or not. He wipes away Hayden's tears with his thumbs and then kisses both his cheeks. "Eu te amo," he murmurs.
"Te amo," Hayden repeats, rubbing a hand over his eyes and taking in a shaky breath.
Eduardo stands up and turns Hayden around with hands on his shoulders. "Go on," he says, giving Hayden a nudge to where the class is starting to gather on the carpet in front of the rocking chair.
Then he steps back to where Mark is, watching with an ache in his chest as Hayden slowly goes to join them, sitting uncertainly next to a girl with a mop of long blonde curls. She looks up at him just as nervously, her hands stilling on her toys.
"What kind of dinosaurs are those?" Hayden asks, pointing.
The girl looks at him, a small smile flickering on her face for a moment. "A T-Rex and a pterodactyl," she replies. "My favorites."
Hayden nods back, looking a little surer of himself now. "I like the diplodocus," he admits.
The girl smiles at him, fuller now. "Me too. I'm Annabelle. Wanna play?"
Hayden smiles back, moving closer on the carpet to take the T-Rex she offers him. "Okay. I'm Hayden."
Eduardo's eyes are burning with tears, and he feels Mark's warm, steady, gentle hand on his back then, steering him towards the door.
//
They make it all the way to the car, behind tinted windows before Eduardo actually loses it. And Mark is so great, sits with him in the backseat, wraps his arms around him, and lets him cry on his shoulder for a full ten minutes before Eduardo gains some semblance of self possession again, straightening up and hiccupping a little.
Part of it is because of how difficult that was, sure-but the other part of it is just that Hayden’s growing up so fast. Eduardo knows that he has roughly thirteen years left with him, but still. If they keep up at this pace, he knows they’ll be over before he knows it.
//
Eduardo leaves work at two-thirty, going home and calling Hayden’s babysitter (Hayden has been saying lately that “nannies are for babies”), Kristen, to tell her she doesn’t have to worry about coming over today. Then he changes into a t-shirt and jeans, throwing on sneakers and a jacket, and heads down to the bus stop to pick up his son.
There are a couple other parents there, all moms, who pick up from his nervous expression that this is his first time, and tease him gently. Eduardo laughs, but it doesn’t do much to relax him until he finally sees the big yellow school bus coming around the corner.
Hayden is one of the first ones off, running down the steps and flinging himself into Eduardo’s arms, who kneels down just in time to catch him. He holds him tight, feeling Hayden’s shaky breaths against his chest, before pulling back to look at him.
His eyes are red and puffy like he’s been crying, and his lip has a scab on it, the way it does when Hayden’s bitten it until it bled. Eduardo sighs, pressing a kiss to his son’s temple and standing up, holding out his hand for Hayden to latch onto. He does, and they walk silently down the sidewalk together until they get to their house.
When they get there, he sits Hayden down at the kitchen table. He gets him a glass of milk and fishes out the plate of cookies he’d made yesterday night-they were meant to be a surprise for dessert tonight, but this situation calls for desperate measures. It takes about ten minutes before Hayden is calmed down, so Eduardo doesn’t push… just waits.
Finally, after he’s devoured drank all the milk and is set on devouring his third cookie (which would normally be against the rules, to have this many in one sitting, but today is an exception), Eduardo asks gently, “What happened at school, Hayden?”
Hayden immediately stiffens, setting his cookie back down on his plate and folding his hands together. That only ever has two possible causes-when they’re visiting Eduardo’s parents and have to pray, or when he’s about to get serious. Eduardo usually finds Hayden’s attempts at seriousness adorable, but now it just worries him.
“I’m not going back,” he declares, his carefully blank face (a mannerism definitely picked up from Mark) undercut by the swipe of melted chocolate on his right cheek and the milk mustache he’s wearing.
Eduardo beckons him forward with a finger, grabbing for a napkin at the same time. Hayden leans forward and Eduardo wipes off his face, lips twitching upward at the way Hayden wrinkles his nose in displeasure.
“What about your friend Annabelle? Won’t she miss you?” Eduardo tries, sitting back in his chair again and taking a bite of his own cookie. Being a parent has taught him that direct logic isn’t always the best first approach.
“Oh, she’s not going back either,” Hayden explains simply. “We both decided together. And we came up with a plan that if you or Daddy or her parents make us go back, we’re gonna run away.”
Eduardo raises his eyebrows like he’s considering it. “You are?” he asks, making sure to keep his voice in the realm of curiosity.
Hayden nods determinedly. “Yep.”
As someone who had already attempted a couple escapes by the time he was Hayden’s age, Eduardo knows that Hayden wouldn’t ever even try, but it still worries him that he apparently hates school enough already that he feels like he has to threaten to do so. “Hm,” is all he says in response, chewing on his cookie thoughtfully, fully aware of the way Hayden’s eyes are watching him very carefully.
He takes a deep breath. “You know, I don’t think Daddy will go for this plan, Hayden,” he explains, feeling a little twinge of guilt for making Mark the bad guy and then adding, “And I don’t think it’s the best idea either.”
Hayden’s face crumples, like he thought Eduardo was really considering it. “Why not?” he asks, turning in his seat so he’s facing Eduardo completely and whining a little bit. He crosses his arms across his chest and fixes his gaze on the floor, and says quieter, more broken, “Papai, I really don’t want to.”
Eduardo’s heart gives a tug to see it, and he just wishes he could make it better. But he has to approach it carefully-when it comes to things like this, Hayden can be as skittish as a newborn colt.
“Hayden,” he says softly, leaning forward and tilting Hayden’s chin up, only to be met with a wobbly, pouting lip and big puppy dog eyes, the face Hayden always makes when he’s about to cry. He keeps his voice very even, and says slowly, “What happened at school today?”
Hayden scrambles up into Eduardo’s lap, pressing his face into Eduardo’s shirt and crying almost immediately. “When Annabelle and I were playing another kid came and broke our toys and told us dinosaurs were for babies!” he gets out between wracked sobs as Eduardo pets his hair and kisses the top of his head.
“Oh, amorzinho,” he murmurs, “It’s just the first day. It’ll get better, I promise.”
“It won’t, I know it won’t!” Hayden protests, his face heated and red, hair sticking to his forehead from working himself up so much, gasping for breath between bouts of crying.
Eduardo holds him closer, rocking and soothing him until he finally quiets. He pulls back, holding Hayden’s face in both hands. “Better?” he asks.
Hayden nods, starts to put his thumb in his mouth, but then curls a fist under his chin instead, like he thinks Eduardo didn’t catch that. Eduardo grins wide and kisses his nose. “Come on,” he says, picking him up and carrying him over to the couch. “We’ll talk about it more later, when your daddy gets home. Let’s watch a movie.”
Hayden picks How to Train Your Dragon. This would have surprised Eduardo-The Land Before Time is usually Hayden’s go-to movie (with the occasional viewing of Finding Nemo, a constant love ever since he was little)-but he supposes that dinosaurs aren’t exactly a good subject right now. Hayden curls up to snuggle against Eduardo, murmuring the lines he knows under his breath, but before long he’s fast asleep.
Eduardo doesn’t remember falling asleep too, but the next thing he remembers is Mark running a hand through his hair. “Wardo, wake up. Have you two eaten?” he whispers.
Eduardo opens his eyes blearily and looks around for a clock. It’s six at night. He hadn’t meant to let Hayden sleep that long, and he hadn’t meant to sleep at all. On the other hand, it has been a draining day for both of them. “No,” he answers back, just as soft. “We just had cookies for snack.”
Mark pulls a confused face, going over to the TV to take out the DVD, which has looped back to the menu. “I thought those were a surprise for him tonight?”
Now it’s Eduardo’s turn to make a face. “I thought they would help cheer him up.”
Mark winces. “That bad, huh?”
Eduardo doesn’t say anything, running his fingers through his sleeping son’s hair. He looks so relaxed in his sleep. Eduardo knows he’ll have to wake him up soon, but… just a few more minutes.
Mark heaves a sigh. “I’ll order pizza,” he says, picking up the phone to dial.
//
They order Hayden’s favorite, of course, which happens to be Triple Cheese, and Mark orders a small ham and pineapple for himself and Eduardo.
The majority of the meal goes by swimmingly. Hayden chatters about Annabelle and her feelings on dinosaurs (for the record, mostly in line with Hayden’s, although she does like velociraptors which is apparently a point against her). Hayden sneaks a bite of Eduardo's pizza when he isn't looking and then giggles like it's the funniest thing in the world when he notices, and Mark teases Hayden about his loose tooth and it's all pretty much par for the course.
But as they're finishing up, Eduardo makes him tell Mark about what happened at school. Hayden manages to get through the story without breaking down completely this time, which is good, but the whole thing makes Mark look absolutely heartbroken. Eduardo knows Mark used to get picked on in school, so of course Mark would feel that way, and there's really nothing Eduardo can do about the past... But it still pains him anyway.
"Hayden," Mark says seriously, setting down his slice of pizza and looking at Hayden with determination. "Buddy, you have to listen to me."
Hayden is sitting in Eduardo's lap, eyes cast downward like he doesn't want to talk about it, but he looks up when he hears Mark's tone.
"Listen, that boy... The reason he's being mean to you has absolutely nothing to do with you. Nothing. I promise. It's his problem, not yours. He's not doing it because you're not cool enough or smart enough or nice enough, because you are definitely all those things. He's doing it because... Because he thinks it will make him feel special. Do you understand?"
Hayden nods, and Eduardo smiles softly to see it. He knew Mark would know just how to explain it.
"You're the smartest, coolest, nicest boy I know," Eduardo says, only half-teasing, and Hayden scrunches up his nose at him.
"Papai, you have to say that."
"Doesn't mean it isn't true," he maintains, and Hayden smiles at him and gives him a hug. Eduardo hugs back and then says, "Go thank your daddy."
So Hayden crawls into Mark's lap, whispering "thank you," into his neck as he throws his arms around Mark's neck in a tight hug.
//
That night at bedtime, they go over it all again. Mark's down the hall because whoever's looking after Facebook (Eduardo sometimes jokes that it’s Mark’s “other kid”) at the moment called with some problem or question, but he'll be back.
"And what are you going to do if this kid is mean to you again?" Eduardo asks as he tucks Hayden's blankets around him, tight just like he likes.
"Walk away," Hayden parrots back.
"Right. And do what?"
"Tell Miss Lucy," Hayden replies, partially through a huge yawn.
"Correct," Eduardo chuckles, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Looks like someone is ready for sleep."
"'m not tired," Hayden protests, even as he runs as hand over his eyes.
"Right," Eduardo drawls disbelievingly.
"Papai," Hayden whispers insistently. "Tell me a story."
Eduardo settles in, lying down on Hayden's twin bed so that they’re all cuddled up together. "What do you want the story to be about?" he asks, waiting for a response as Hayden relaxes against him.
"Um," Hayden hums, and Eduardo knows what that means immediately. But he waits patiently, watches the way Hayden's eyes slide over to the framed photograph on his bedside table, one of Jamie in her hospital bed holding Hayden.
She's not facing the camera in the picture-she hadn't even known that her parents were taking one-but it still came out fantastic. She's got Hayden cradled in her arms, and is smiling down at him softly like he's the only thing that matters in the world.
"Can you tell me one about mom?" Hayden asks softly, eyes still fixed on the picture frame.
Eduardo presses a kiss to the top of his head again. "Of course. Always."
//
Hayden falls asleep before the story is finished, so Eduardo turns off the lights and heads to the master bedroom. Mark is still there, phone to one ear, lying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He smiles reflexively when Eduardo walks in, mouthing “Hey.”
Eduardo smiles back and goes to lie beside him, resting his head on Mark’s stomach. Mark lightly runs his fingers through Eduardo’s hair, still listening to whoever’s on the phone. “Okay… okay. Yeah, that should do it. Listen, I gotta go. …Okay, I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Bye.”
He hangs up the phone back on the receiver, exhaling deeply. “How was bedtime?”
Eduardo yawns. “Fine. He’s asleep already.”
“Hmm,” Mark says in response, and Eduardo tilts his head back to see Mark better. His eyes are drooping, and the sight makes him huff out a soft little laugh.
“He asked for a Jamie story,” Eduardo adds.
Mark nods. “I figured he might.” They both know that Hayden mostly asks for stories about Jamie when he’s feeling emotional or insecure about something.
“Yeah,” Eduardo agrees, sighing. He moves so that he and Mark are face to face on their sides. “I just… I knew it was going to be hard for him, but. I didn’t think it would be this hard for us,” he admits, laughing at himself a little. Mark laughs too. “I guess I should have known better.”
“Is any of this parenting stuff ever easy?” Mark says, note of brightness and a smile still lingering in his voice. “Honestly, tell me when we get to the easy part. I’ll have to savor it.”
Eduardo rolls his eyes fondly, turns over so he’s looking up at the ceiling. “No,” he allows, “But doesn’t this make you at least a little bit wistful for the days when the biggest problem was when he woke up in the middle of the night?”
“No,” Mark says, honestly, half a laugh. “I like getting a full eight hours of sleep, thanks.”
Eduardo grins, moving off Mark so that they’re lying next to each other. Mark turns so they’re face-to-face, pillow-close. “I don’t think there’s ever going to be an easy part,” he says softly, eyes searching over Mark’s.
“High school, maybe,” Mark answers back, running his thumb down Eduardo’s jawline. “That is, unless we decide to have another.”
Eduardo laughs, loud, head thrown back, and swats at his husband. Mark grins too.
It’s something that Mark’s mentioned a couple times in jest, and Eduardo can’t tell whether he’s serious or not. He knows that Mark loved growing up with siblings, and Eduardo loved having a sister… But Hayden was never part of a plan, just something that life threw at him, at them, and sometimes he feels like such a handful that Eduardo doesn’t even know how to deal. He’s not against having another kid-he knows that Mark loves big families and Eduardo would adore that. Really, he would. Not to mention that Hayden went through a phase where he prayed for a brother every night. He just doesn’t know if they’re ready.
“Go kiss your son goodnight,” Eduardo says, changing the subject, poking Mark in the side at the same time. Mark sighs heavily, but pushes himself off the bed to go do it.
“Fine,” he allows, giving Eduardo a stubborn look, but pausing in the doorway to look back. “But don’t move,” he whispers. Eduardo grins, and Mark grins back before heading out of the room.
He pushes himself up on his elbows, listening down the hall as Mark creeps into Hayden’s bedroom, presses a kiss to his forehead and turns off the bedside table light. “Goodnight Hayden,” he whispers into the darkness, and then Eduardo hears the rustle of sheets as Hayden shifts.
“Night, Daddy,” he breathes back, stirring just a little.
The name thing had been, frankly, a really wonderful thing in their life. It had happened a little over a year ago, after visiting Eduardo’s parents in Miami. Celia had taken time off to spend time with them too, and the two of them had spent the entire time calling their parents “Mae” and “Pai”, no different than usual. Then Celia had flown back with them to stay for a couple weeks, and it wasn’t until the flight back to Palo Alto that Hayden had finally asked about the names.
“Why do you and Daddy say that?” Hayden asks, interrupting Celia’s story about something or other regarding their parents. He was sitting next to Celia (in the same private jet Mark had purchased back when Hayden was young), with Mark and Eduardo sitting beside them on the couch. Eduardo was waking up slowly, head on Mark’s shoulder while Mark typed away on a small little notebook, pretending not to listen to Hayden’s conversation with Celia.
“Because,” Celia said, “Your daddy and I spoke Portuguese when we were little, and those are the words for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ in Portuguese.”
There had been a long, thoughtful silence. Hayden still called Mark Mark at the time, and sometimes he got weird looks from other kids about it, but he’d never let it bother him-at least not obviously enough that Eduardo had picked up on it.
“Can I call Daddy that?” Hayden asked, very seriously.
“That’s between you and your daddy,” Celia replied, smile obvious in her voice.
“Daddy!” Hayden called, kicking his feet under his chair. “Are you awake?”
“Mm,” Eduardo hummed, “Hayden, you can call me whatever you want.” Mark rubbed a hand over his back, warm. Eduardo opened his eyes slowly.
Hayden had turned back to Celia, tilting his chin up questioningly. “How do you say ‘Daddy’ in Portuguese?”
Celia smiled. “Papai,” she said, her voice soft. Hayden had repeated after her, pronunciation clumsy, and Celia had laughed and worked with him for half an hour.
“Papai,” Hayden finally said definitively after he finally got it, looking straight on at Eduardo, who couldn’t help but grin. Then he looked at Mark. “Now you can both be ‘Daddy.’”
Mark’s breath had caught a little, and he set his laptop aside. “Come here,” he said, his voice a little choked. Hayden grinned so wide it looks like his face will split in half and jumped off his chair, running right into Mark’s lap. Mark had pulled him in and pressed a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head, and put his arm around Eduardo, who was smiling stupidly himself.
From then on Mark had been “Daddy” and Wardo had been “Papai”. It still feels a little new sometimes, but in a nice, comfortable kind of way.
Back in the present, Mark is tiptoeing back into their room. Eduardo has no idea why all of that came flooding back to him like that, but it makes his eyes sting with feeling. It just hits home how far they’ve come, and that they’re a family, in every sense of the word.
“Mark,” he says, voice cracking around the lump in his throat when Mark looks at him. Mark’s brow furrows for a minute, but Eduardo just reaches for him. “Mark, c’mere.”
Somehow, Mark knows. He always seems to now, and Eduardo doesn’t know when that happened, when the two of them became so in sync, but he’s so grateful.
Mark closes and locks the door behind him, striding over to the bed and kisses him, presses him into the mattress, wrapping his arms around Eduardo. He’s tangled around him, weight holding him down in place like a warm blanket. He kisses Eduardo everywhere; his lips, the bridge of his nose, the spot beneath his ear, the edge of his jaw… Eduardo flushes, panting out hot breaths beside Mark’s ear. “Mark,” he gasps, as he wraps his legs around Mark’s waist.
“I’ve got you,” Mark whispers back, breathless. “Wardo, I’m gonna take care of you…”
“I know, Mark, I know…” he breathes back. And he does.
Sex has never really been something that they’ve had in abundance. At first, it because of a baby who cried all the time, and then a toddler who still woke up in the middle of the night, and now a young child who occasionally has nightmares and seeks refuge in his parents’ bed. They never got to have a honeymoon period (in fact, their actual honeymoon was in family-friendly Disneyland, with their ecstatic son and the Valencias along too), so they never went through that phase most couples do where they just had sex all the time.
But Eduardo doesn’t feel like he’s missed out. Because when they do, when they can carve out enough time for it, it’s better. And they’ve been together so long now that they know what makes the other tick. Mark knows what touches drive Eduardo crazy and which make him go boneless and pliant beneath his hands.
They strip each other quickly, until it’s just the two of them trembling against each other. It’s skin on skin, white imprints of lingering fingerprints and goosebumps, Mark braced above him, flushed and beautiful. It’s the hitch in Eduardo’s breath as Mark pushes inside, his heels nudging at Mark’s back, the sweet ache in every one of his muscles, but it’s also Mark’s fingers caressing him all over, so careful, the pink flush high on his cheeks. The desperate, needy look in his eye. It’s all of it, the intimacy and the tenderness they have every day, only turned physical in a way they don’t usually get, and it’s breathtaking and beautiful and wonderful.
Afterwards, when Eduardo is bone-deep relaxed and Mark has brushed the hair flopping down off his face and pressed his lips to Eduardo’s forehead in a messy kiss, thumb caressing slow over his temple, they pull on their boxers and bury themselves underneath the comforter, tangled up together in the middle of the bed. Eduardo finally feels like he can breathe.
//
It’s a couple hours later, when he hears a knocking at the door and wet sniffles coming from the other side when the tightness in his chest returns.
“Papai? Daddy?” Hayden calls from the hallway, knocking tentatively, sounding so very small. His voice comes out worried, afraid, and Eduardo doesn’t know why. It could be anything… he could have had a nightmare or he could still just be upset from today. Eduardo immediately cringes and feels guilty for locking the door, even though it was necessary. Most nights they don’t even close it.
Mark stirs beside him as Eduardo sits up, rolling over on his side and blinking his eyes open. “Hm?” he asks, and Eduardo just chuckles and leans down to press a quick, soft kiss to his lips.
Then he springs up, going over to the door and unlocking it, dropping to his knees so he’s at Hayden’s eye level. “Amorzinho, what’s wrong?”
Hayden sniffles again, clutches his stuffed animal (that old zebra giraffe from when he was a baby, now tattered and faded but so well loved) tighter to his chest. “I woke up and now I can’t go back to sleep,” he whispers, even though they are all clearly awake.
“Get in here, then,” Mark calls from the bed, rubbing sleepily over his eyes.
Hayden doesn’t need telling twice, and darts to Mark like a heat-seeking missile, crawling under the covers and curling up into Mark’s side without a second thought. Eduardo chuckles lightly, making his way back over a little more slowly, watching as Mark’s arms go around Hayden like a reflex. Eduardo sneaks back underneath the covers too, snuggling in on the other side so that Hayden is sandwiched between them. Hayden immediately reaches for Eduardo’s hands, letting out a little sigh as he finds them and clutches at them tightly. Eduardo squeezes back and presses a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head as he stretches his legs out to tangle his feet with Mark’s.
Mark lets out a hiss. “Wardo, your feet are freezing,” he protests sleepily. Hayden giggles between them, and Eduardo smiles.
“Your daddy’s being a baby,” Eduardo whispers, his tone teasing, making Hayden giggle even louder even with his eyes closed.
Mark huffs a little and readjusts his head on his pillow. “Shut up, Wardo.”
Hayden’s eyes fly open immediately, squirming around to face Mark with an accusing finger. “Jar!” Mark’s brow furrows for a second before realization slips in and he groans.
The jar thing had started about the same time that Hayden started repeating everything everyone said, which was when he was about two and a half. One night while they were making dinner Mark had cut his finger while chopping up something for the sauce and let out a yelp and then a frustrated, “Fuck!” The word was then parroted by Hayden, cheerfully bouncing around in his high chair on the opposite end of the room, and Eduardo’s eyes had gone wide as saucers.
Mark, of course, started laughing, clutching at his stomach with one arm while sucking his bleeding thumb into his mouth, while Hayden repeated the word again and again since it was making Mark laugh. Eduardo, not at all sharing in Mark’s amusement, had grabbed a glass jar from one of the cabinets and slammed it down on the island, grabbing a Sharpie and writing “SWEAR JAR” on it in slanted, frantic writing. He had then proceeded to snatch Mark’s wallet out of his back pocket, open it up, and dump all its contents into the jar. Mark had stopped laughing pretty quickly at that.
At first, that had been the rule: Mark had to empty all the money in his wallet into the jar whenever he got caught. Mark had grumbled and complained each time it happened, but being the sometimes forgetful person that he was, continued to carry cash in his wallet. But it had gotten better, and now he only has to put in a dollar each time it happens.
And then as Hayden had gotten older and started watching TV, the list had expanded to include not just expletives but plain old not-nice words like “shut up” and “stupid” and so on. His contribution to the swear jar came from the four dollars he got each week for cleaning his room, brushing his teeth twice a day, making his bed, and any other chores. There had been a phase where, after a couple of playdates with children Eduardo wasn’t exactly the fondest of, Hayden had been giving to the swear jar on a daily basis for the less serious offenses. Understandably, he hated doing so (seeing as it came out of his budget for gumball machines and stickers and other treats), and so he was always the smuggest when he could catch someone else in the act.
Judging by the way he’s giggling now as Mark jokingly hits his head against the pillow, this is still the case.
“Daddy,” he says, pushing at Mark’s shoulder ineffectively. “Go put your dollar in the jar. You always forget, Daddy.” The last words come out distorted around a giant yawn, and Eduardo has to stifle his laugh behind his hand.
“I’ll do it first thing in the morning, Hayden, I promise,” Mark replies easily, reaching around to rub his back.
“You won’t. And then I’ll remind you and you’ll pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Eduardo sees Mark bite back a smirk at this, because Hayden is, of course, completely spot on. “Papai, tell him,” Hayden protests again, whining a little now. He’s obviously fighting to stay awake, but his drooping eyelids tell Eduardo that he’s soon going to lose the battle.
Mark looks up at him over the top of Hayden’s head, sending him a wink and a crooked smile. Eduardo responds with a smile of his own, which becomes wider when Hayden wiggles around so that he’s facing Eduardo again, clutching at his t-shirt with grabby hands. “Papai.”
Eduardo chuckles softly and reaches to untangle Hayden’s hands from his shirt, holding them between his own and drawing them up to kiss. “I think we can let your daddy off the hook just this once, filho.”
Hayden sighs, mumbling something Eduardo can’t decipher, clearly drifting off. “Goodnight,” he whispers to his son.
“Love you,” Hayden breathes back, and Eduardo’s heart warms.
Mark leans down, pressing a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head. “We love you too, Hayden,” he assures him, snuggling deeper into the bed. As Eduardo drifts off, he thinks that maybe this whole thing will be okay.
//
The three of them walk hand-in-hand to the bus stop the next morning. Hayden seems okay, like something about last night loosened something in his chest, because he’s chattering away about constellations, one of his favorite fascinations. He’s even skipping a little, and he hasn’t mentioned the running away plan since explaining it to them at dinner last night. Eduardo hopes that maybe he’s forgotten about it.
He gets a little nervous when it’s time to get on the bus again, but Eduardo leans down and kisses both his cheeks. “You’re gonna have a great day, filho. I just know it.”
Hayden nods jerkily, and then looks up at Mark, who squeezes his hand encouragingly, offering up a smile. Eduardo sees Hayden putting on his brave face, and tries not to let it break his heart.
They watch as Hayden struggles with his oversized backpack a little as he approaches the bus, getting on and sitting down. Mark and Eduardo stand and watch, waving until it pulls away.
Eduardo swallows and Mark reaches down to take his hand. “He’ll be fine,” he murmurs, and Eduardo nods in agreement and hopes.
//
Eduardo comes home at 4:30, only a little early today since they wanted to get back to the normal swing of things , which meant having Kristen, the babysitter, be there when Hayden got home. Eduardo tries not to feel too guilty about this.
“Hello?” he calls from the entryway, setting down his briefcase and toeing off his shoes. Soon enough he hears the pitter-patter of little feet coming toward him at full speed, and Hayden has thrown himself around Eduardo’s legs, hugging them tight.
“Papai, you’re home!” he says, jumping up and down in place, grabbing Eduardo’s hand. “Come into the kitchen, Kristen and I are making paper snowflakes!” and proceeds to drag Eduardo along.
“Hey,” Kristen says, looking up from the kitchen table, smiling a little. She’s young, about 23 or so, and very sweet. She’s a little quiet, shy-but absolutely lights up around Hayden, completely at ease with him.
“Hi,” Eduardo replies as Hayden lets go of his hand to rush back to his seat, taking scissors to the piece of folded paper in front of him. “How was… everything?” he asks, hoping to convey the question in his voice.
Kristen nods understandingly. “Everything is great,” she says confidently, nudging Hayden in the side. “Tell your dad.”
Hayden looks up, eyes bright. “Papai, Annabelle and I made a secret dinosaur club and we drew pictures in class and Miss Lucy gave us all lollipops!” he explains, bouncing in his seat.
Eduardo laughs, reaching forward to tousle Hayden’s hair. “That’s amazing!” he answers, grinning. It’s a little unexpected, too, but that is the life of a five-year-old, Eduardo is learning. He’s sure that in a week or so there will be another rough patch, but what can you do. You just have to roll with the punches as they come. He shoots Kristen a thankful look which she waves away good-naturedly as she gets her keys.
Just like that, Mark walks through the garage door. “How is everyone?” he asks immediately, and Kristen chuckles.
“Daddy!” Hayden squeals, launching into the recount of his day all over again. Mark looks pleasantly surprised, and Eduardo laughs, feeling so fucking grateful about it.
Kristen heads out after effusive “thank you”s from both of them. Hayden babbles on about Annabelle and school and doesn’t once mention bullies or anything of the sort.
Eduardo feels a little bit giddy, enough so to suggest, “Hey, why don’t we call Dustin and Aubrey and have them over for dinner tonight?”
Mark grins, nodding. Hayden is jumping up and down in place. “And the baby, and the baby!”
“And the baby,” Eduardo agrees, laughing.
“What about Uncle Chris and Uncle Sean?” Hayden continues.
“They live an hour away, Hayden, they need a little bit more warning that that,” Mark answers, smiling. “Dustin and Aubrey only live 20 minutes down the street.”
Hayden pouts a little, but it seems that nothing can really put a damper on his good mood tonight. Mark calls, and Eduardo throws together the fish he’d set out to thaw this morning for dinner (which makes Hayden wrinkle his nose, but then Mark calls it “brain food” and Hayden couldn’t more excited to eat it).
Dustin and Aubrey and baby Elizabeth show up, looking happy but tired. Elizabeth is actually asleep, since she had been running a fever the last couple nights, up late crying, though she’s better now. Hayden is very gentle when Aubrey sits him down on the couch and lets Hayden hold her, sitting so still he may not even be breathing, smoothing over her tufts of red hair and kissing her forehead very softly. Eduardo hides a smile behind his hand as he watches, shooting Mark a meaningful look. Mark smiles back, small, and raises his eyebrows, like he knows exactly where Eduardo’s mind has gone.
Dustin elbows him lightly in the side, smug grin on his face. “Getting the itch, Wardo?”
Eduardo rolls his eyes. “Shut up, Dustin.”
“You can borrow ours any time you want,” Aubrey shouts from the kitchen with Mark. “After all, I spent a lot of time with yours during the crying, nervous years.” She quirks a teasing eyebrow at him, sipping from her glass of red wine.
Eduardo throws his head back and laughs, about to respond when Hayden cuts in. “Papai!” he whispers, finger over his lips. “Lizzie is sleeping,” he explains, adorably serious, and then everyone laughs.
Over dinner, Hayden devours the fish and delights everyone with his dinosaur impressions, flushed from all the attention and talking. He insists on sitting next to his honorary little sister, and the meal is filled with freely flowing laughter and conversation, and Eduardo thinks almost feels like they can relax into this easiness.
Hayden tuckers himself out before long, dozing off in Mark’s lap while all the adults have coffee, along with Elizabeth, who is asleep in her high chair (the old one from when Hayden was young). They also munch on cookies from last night for dessert and talk, about the upcoming IPO at Facebook and Hayden’s troubles at school, Elizabeth’s newfound desire to get into everything now that she can walk more steadily, Chris and Sean’s upcoming nuptials.
“This almost feels like the old days,” Mark says after a while, carding fingers through Hayden’s hair.
“Almost,” Dustin emphasizes, pointing at Mark. “No Chris.”
Mark rolls his eyes. “Yes, we all get it, your bromance is never-ending,” and Dustin throws a napkin at him.
“Plus, you and Wardo have all your shit worked out for sure now. No angst. And you’re both past the point when you worry about every little thing with Hayden,” he says with a shrug.
“Lucky you,” Eduardo says with a smile, holding Mark’s hand under the table. “You’re still in that phase.”
Aubrey groans. “I’m looking forward to the ‘normal sleep schedule’ phase.”
“Tell me when you find it,” Mark shoots back, taking a pull from his beer bottle and leaning back. Everything is quiet for a moment.
“When did ‘the old days’ become then instead of Harvard?” Eduardo finally asks, curious. Dustin and Mark look surprised by the question, like he’s stumped them. Eduardo laughs.
“We’re getting old,” Dustin laments, head in his hands, and Aubrey swats at his side, getting an overdramatic “Ow!” for her trouble.
“You’re not getting old, you’re growing up. There’s a difference, assholes,” she says in that blunt, matter-of-fact way that she has, like she’s not taking any of their shit.
Mark nods, smile toying at the corners of his lips. “She has a point.”
“Course I do,” Aubrey responds, looking sly. “I’m smarter than all of you,” which elicits groans and protests from all of them. Eduardo would join in, but he’s laughing too hard.
//
Eduardo eases Hayden up not longer after, shushing him as he stirs, holding him on his hip and letting his son pillow his head on his shoulder. Dustin and Aubrey head out, kissing the top of Hayden’s head on their way, laughing gently at his sleepy goodbyes.
Mark closes the door behind him and breathes out. They’re all tired, but in that satisfying way that comes from a good, full day. “Take him upstairs, I’ll lock up down here,” he says, half a whisper, and Eduardo nods.
He runs Hayden through his bedtime routine, which is quite a challenge when he can’t keep his son’s eyes open for more than ten seconds at a time. Finally he’s bathed, teeth are brushed, changed into pajamas-the whole nine yards.
“Papai?” Hayden finally prompts, rubbing at his eyes and yawning at the end of it.
“What, moleque?” Eduardo responds, lightly teasing in hopes to elicit a sleepy smile from Hayden. Right now Eduardo is fairly focused on combing the knots out of Hayden’s hair, frowning a little at their stubbornness.
“Can I sleep in your bed with you and Daddy tonight?” he asks, voice just an edge pleading, because he knows Eduardo is weak like that. “I promise I’ll go back to my own bed tomorrow; I promise.”
Eduardo smiles, spreading slowly across his face, warmth growing in his chest. He leans down to drop a kiss to the top of Hayden’s head, setting the comb down on the bathroom counter. “Of course you can, Hayden.”
Hayden reaches his arms out with half-shut eyes, wanting picked up. Eduardo obliges, giving his son a hug as he carries him to his bedroom, rubbing circles into his back to set him down in the middle of the bed, arranging the covers around him and smoothing his hair off his forehead.
Mark comes in from the bathroom, yawning, ready for bed himself. He smiles when he sees Hayden there, comes up from behind to wrap his arms around Eduardo’s waist and press a kiss to his shoulder. “What brought this on?” he whispers, and Eduardo shrugs.
“It’s been a crazy couple of days,” he replies softly, and feels Mark nod against his shoulderblade.
Mark disconnects himself, moving to slide in on one side of Hayden, kissing his forehead. “Night, Hayden,” he says, and Hayden murmurs something indecipherable in response, which makes Mark laugh.
Eduardo ducks into the bathroom and changes, brushing his teeth quickly and turning out the light. Then he climbs into bed too, sighing as he meets Mark’s wide, bright eyes over the top of Hayden’s head.
Their life never stands still. If it’s not one thing it’s another… Elizabeth is almost one, Sean and Chris are living in San Francisco and getting married, Hayden’s adjusting to kindergarten and making friends, Eduardo’s having a hard time letting him go, Mark’s in a brand new place with the company, and they both know they aren’t far off from having a discussion about maybe having another kid. Everything’s in flux; everything’s changing. And it’s all going to be okay.
Eduardo knows it’s true because he always has this-Mark smiling at him, eyes full of love, feet tangled affectionately with his own, and his son, the most wonderful, important thing in his life. As long as those two things don’t go anywhere, everything else will fall into place.
“Eu te amo,” he murmurs, closing his eyes.
Hayden’s already fast asleep, snoring lightly, and Mark chuckles, reaching for Eduardo’s hand and tangling their fingers together, squeezing it. “Eu te amo, Wardo,” he replies, and Eduardo sighs happily, letting himself drift off to sleep.