Force of Nature (1/1)
So yeah, I wrote fic for the first time... Dunno quite how that happened. It was in response to a prompt on the TSN Kink Meme that read:
Jesse is terrified of thunderstorms, and there's a nasty one raging outside. Cue Jesse freaking out and Andrew holding him and cuddling with him and talking him through it. If this leads to sweet lovemaking, that would be fantastic, but it doesn't have to. Just Andrew and Jesse being adorable is enough for me.
How can you resist that cuteness? To view on the kink meme, click here here, or read the rest behind the cut.
Force of Nature (Jesse/Andrew)
title Force of Nature
pairing/fandom Jesse Eisenberg/Andrew Garfield, The Social Network RPS
word count 2,878
rating pg-13
warnings none
summary In response to the prompt: Jesse is terrified of thunderstorms, and there's a nasty one raging outside. Cue Jesse freaking out and Andrew holding him and cuddling with him and talking him through it. Basically fluff fun.
disclaimer I own nothing, this is not based on the real people but the fictional characters our lovely TSN fandom has created. On the very very slim chance you're here by googling your own name, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
a/n So, I wrote fic? Dunno how that happened. This is my first time posting any fic at all (let alone Jewnicorn fic), so any and all feedback would be very much appreciated. Thanks and enjoy!
Oh, and also, this is set while they are sharing an apartment in Boston during filming of TSN.
*
Andrew and Jesse are watching a movie when the rain starts. They are sitting on opposite ends of the very small couch. Jesse is sitting on only one cushion, being his careful and polite self and not using up any more space than he needs. Andrew, of course, is sprawled everywhere and his legs are in Jesse’s lap. This is how they usually sit when they’re together, and they’re both comfortable.
At first it’s just quiet, drizzling rain, and it doesn’t register with Andrew until suddenly it starts to thunder. He had assumed Jesse didn’t notice it either, but when the first clap of thunder echoes throughout their flat, Jesse jumps a little bit. Andrew looks over at him, protective instincts on edge, but Jesse continues to stare at the TV and pretend it didn’t happen. So Andrew lets it go.
Then there’s lightning, which comes unexpectedly and the flash blinds Andrew for a moment, and he can feel Jesse start to shake a little, but he is still staring fixedly on the TV screen like he doesn’t want Andrew to say anything.
The rain starts to pelt at the windows persistently, and then the wind starts to howl and the lights flicker a little. Jesse is still looking at the TV, but his eyes are unfocused now and it’s obvious he’s not really paying attention. Andrew sits up a little and looks directly at Jesse. He feels torn. He wants to say something, but Jesse is clearly fighting so hard to appear strong with this. Fuck it, he thinks to himself.
“Jess?”
“Yeah?” he refuses to remove his eyes from the TV.
“Are you okay?”
“Mhm.” Jesse is sitting with his left elbow resting on the arm of the chair, his head in his palm. And his hand is visibly shaking. Andrew is doubtful.
“You sure?”
Before Jesse has a chance to respond, there is another flicker of the lights and then they go out. It’s pitch black and Andrew can’t see anything, but he hears a slight whimper that he assumes came from Jesse.
“It’s okay, it’s fine, let me just get some candles…” Andrew tries to assure him, and hurriedly jumps off the couch and stumbles around the apartment a little in order to find them, stubbing his toe in his frantic search. Then he blindly feels his way into the kitchen for matches, knocking over what sounds like some fragile dishes or something, and then pushes around some random crap (read: takeout menus) in one of the drawers until he finds them. He falters back into the living room, sets the candles and matches on the coffee table, and lights them.
The first thing Andrew sees is Jesse curled up with his knees to his chest, like he’s in the fetal position but sitting upright. He is definitely shaking and rocking back and forth a little, and Andrew swears his heart fucking breaks. “Oh, Jess,” Andrew says and rushes over to sit next to him.
Jesse allows him to sit on the opposite end of the couch, but puts his hand out to dissuade Andrew from laying all over him as per usual. “I’m okay, I’m okay…” he protests, but his voice is wavering. Andrew hesitates. Jesse is obviously not okay, but he doesn’t want to smother Jesse either. So he just sits there, looking at an obviously terrified Jesse and crossing and uncrossing his legs, feeling uncomfortable. He’s never felt uncomfortable around Jesse before.
“Fuck it Jess, this is ridiculous,” Andrew finally gives in to his instinctive need to protect Jesse, and pushes Jesse’s head onto his own shoulder, so Jesse is leaning against him and Andrew’s arm is around him. Jesse gives a little whimper, but it’s not one of fear, more like… relief? But Andrew stops himself from pursuing that line of thought any further. He rubs Jesse’s back in hopes of soothing him.
Jesse turns his face into Andrew’s t-shirt and heaves a heavy sigh. “I’m scared of thunderstorms,” he admits.
Andrew laughs. “I gathered that bit, actually. But thanks for letting me know.”
And Jesse laughs a little too, in spite of himself, and Andrew feels like it is a bit of a personal victory. “D’you mind me asking why, Jess?”
Jesse readjusts his head on Andrew’s shoulder so that he’s facing the silent television and the candlelight. “I honestly don’t remember. I have this kind of hazy memory of a thunderstorm one night when I was younger, and my parents were out so we had a sitter, and Hallie Kate was really small but she was screaming bloody murder, plus I was already freaked out because my parents were gone… And I ended up having a panic attack in my room until my parents got back.”
“Oh, Jess…” Andrew breathes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jesse says matter of factly. “It’s not your fault I was born royally screwed up.”
Andrew cannot take that. He doesn’t even care if Jesse is joking or not, that is just too far. He can’t let Jesse think like that. Andrew debates back and forth in his head as another clap of thunder causes Jesse to jump. And that just fucking does it.
“God Jess, don’t say that!” he says, maybe with a little bit of a bite that he didn’t mean it to have. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s how he feels.
Jesse bites his lip (which never fails to make Andrew want to jump on top of him and just kiss him until Jesse is utterly dazed). “A-Andrew--” he begins to stutter, sounding like he’s going to apologize or question, so Andrew stops before he can.
“No. Don’t. I mean… c’mon Jess. Can you just listen? Just for a second?”
A flash of lightning highlights the nervous, confused expression Jesse is wearing, and Andrew starts to feel a little guilty and lose his nerve, but then he feels his heartbeat pounding in his chest and he knows he has to do this.
“Jess… You can’t go around thinking you’re royally screwed up. You just can’t. Because you’re not.”
Jesse blinks and says, “What do you mean?”
Obviously this is going to be difficult, Andrew thinks to himself, but swallows and tries to gather the courage to continue.
“Just because you have anxiety attacks doesn’t mean you’re messed up. Lots of people do,” he tries to explain, chickening out of what he really wants to say.
“You know that’s not the only thing Andrew.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re not normal. You like defacing old maps and you have a ton of adorable cats and you always carry a book with you and you bike around New York and you’re absolutely shit at interviews and you listen to musical theatre for chrissakes…”
And Jesse is looking at him like Andrew has just ripped his heart out of his chest… maybe it’s time to wrap this bit up.
“But Jesse, all those things make you you. They make you unique and I know that’s so absolutely fucking cliché, but I don’t even care. All those things are the reason I want to spend every waking moment with you. They’re the reason I miss you when we’re on opposite sides of the country and the reason I can’t stop gushing about you in every interview we do together. Fuck Jess… they’re why I… I…”
“Why you what, Andrew?” Jesse looks up at him like he’s not even allowing himself to hope, he’s being so careful. But then, so is Andrew, he just stopped himself from saying what he had been holding inside himself for months.
Andrew takes a deep breath and looks Jesse in the eye as the rain begins to pound even harder, which causes Jesse to look even more uncertain. “They’re why I’m in love with you.”
Neither of them say anything for a moment, they just let the rain outside scream for both of them while they sit on the very same couch they always do… Jesse looking up at Andrew from his shoulder, Andrew gazing back down at him, still rubbing soothing circles on Jesse’s back. They’re at the edge of something big, they can both feel it, and so they hang there suspended. Neither of them want to be the first one to break the precious silence, after which everything will change.
But Jesse does . “You love me?” he asks, and his voice sounds surprised but maybe a little bit optimistic? He sits up, severing all physical contact with Andrew.
“I do,” he admits, moving so he is sitting criss-crossed across from Jesse and they are looking directly at each other… No way out, no escape, no chickening out this time. This is it. Andrew can’t breathe.
And then suddenly, Jesse surges forward and closes the space between them, and he’s kissing Andrew. He’s kissing Andrew. It’s perfect. It’s everything Andrew’s ever wanted since he first starting having feelings for Jesse. It’s a nervous, rushed kiss, like most first kisses are, and Jesse pulls away quickly, but only a few inches.
Their faces are still close, and Jesse looks up at Andrew from underneath his lashes, pupils full of question marks, like he’s asking Is this okay, are you sure this is what you meant, is this okay?
Andrew cracks a smile, and reaches out to run his thumb over Jesse’s cheek, and he can feel Jesse’s breath hitch, which causes his own heart to flutter a little. “Jess,”
Jesse makes a little whimper in response.
“You are so beautiful.”
Jesse looks stunned, totally taken aback, and opens his mouth like he’s going to protest, but Andrew tumbles forward, knocking him back, in a frenzied attempt to press their lips together again and swallow up any of the untruths Jesse was about to emit.
Despite the energy behind it, it’s a gentle kiss, but then Jesse parts his lips and the kiss deepens. Andrew suddenly finds it quite difficult to keep his hands still, he wants to let them roam all over Jesse, touch all the places he’s always imagined touching. He settles for gently grabbing a wrist with one of his hands to ground himself and using the other to cup Jesse’s face.
Jesse uses his remaining hand (the one that is not currently being shackled by Andrew) to press to the small of Andrew’s back, which causes Andrew to let out a fragile moan which he has kept locked up inside him possibly since he has met Jesse.
In response, Jesse lets out a little chuckle and the kiss breaks. Andrew blushes into Jesse’s chest and tries to cover his face with his hands, but Jesse is having none of it. He takes both of them by the wrists and pulls them away, until all he can see is a very bashful Andrew. “I’m sorry, Jess,” he says. “I’ve just wanted this for so long…”
A smile breaks over Jesse’s face, and his eyes twinkle a little as he replies, “Me too.”
Andrew breathes a sigh of relief. And he lets out a little laugh. Because it’s just too much to think that he’s been pining over Jesse for so long and now it’s finally happened. It feels a little silly, a little ridiculous, that it’s taken them this long. “What cowards we are,” he says.
And then Jesse is laughing too, and the two of them are there, laying on top of each other across the couch that is honestly too small to be making out on, giggling until their stomachs hurt for a full five minutes. And this feels silly too, but Andrew feels truly free for the first time in a long time with Jesse. He’s not holding anything back anymore, it’s only them in their truest forms.
When they have both regained their composure, Jesse is the first one to speak. “You make me happy,” he says simply. “Sometimes, when I’m with you, I feel like it’s the happiest I’ll ever be.”
And that’s just not fair, because something about the way Jesse says it is just so inherently honest that Andrew is seriously holding back tears. It’s too late though, Jesse has seen the tears swimming in his eyes. Andrew may have just let one fall, he will not confirm or deny it, and Jesse may have reached up and brushed it away.
But then they are kissing again, and their legs are all tangled up together and Andrew fleetingly thinks about how many damn clothes they are both wearing. To remedy this, he starts to fumble with the buttons of Jesse’s shirt, which causes Jesse to smile a little into the kiss but he does not attempt to start Andrew. Which Andrew interprets as a sign to keep on, of course.
Eventually (miraculously) they are able to get all the buttons undone (it was a team effort, honestly, seeing as both their hands were shaking like leaves bullied by hostile autumn winds), and Jesse’s shirt comes off. They gasp simultaneously as Andrew drags his hand over Jesse’s chest… first contact, skin to skin, and it’s electric. Truthfully, Andrew is surprised he isn’t leaving a trail of sparks across the two of them, their chemistry is so compatible.
They’re still all scrunched up on the tiny couch, but Andrew is trying not to mind, honestly… until Jesse hits his head on the arm of the couch. And that’s the end of that. Andrew is forcibly dragging Jesse up and out by his wrists, who is complaining all the way, whining feeble, “Andrew, I’m fine, really…”s all the way to the bedroom.
“Jess, seriously. It’s okay. Look,” he says as they enter his room, and Andrew gestures to the bed. “A lot more space,” he finishes with a chuckle.
“And no sharp edges,” Jesse teases back, which causes Andrew to send him a look, which he means to be a glare but it comes out more adoring than anything else. Because obviously he can’t even pretend to be mad at Jesse, he’s much too weak for that.
Together they fall onto the bed, and they’re kissing again, this time with more intent and purpose. Clothes are being shed at an alarming rate, but then all of the sudden Andrew stops. And Jesse stops too, immediately looking remorseful, like he thinks he’s done something wrong, which just isn’t the case at all.
“Listen, Jesse,” Andrew urges, by way of explanation.
Jesse seems to consider this for a second and then turns back to Andrew with an utterly confused look. “I don’t hear anything,” he answers.
Which makes Andrew positively beam. “The storm?”
Jesse treats Andrew to a grin, the kind that Andrew always wants to take a picture of and keep in his pocket to look at when he’s having a particularly bad day, the kind that comes complete with Jesse’s blinding white teeth and absolutely adorable dimples, the kind that reaches all the way into his eyes. “That’s the first time I made it through a thunderstorm since that first night,” he admits. Then a look of uncertainty comes over his face. “Wait, please tell me you did not just tell me you loved me and started kissing me and soon hopefully more to distract me from a thunderstorm.”
Andrew throws his head back into a full, genuine, loving laugh. “I’m not that much of a masochist, Jess,” he assures Jesse, and Jesse’s wide grin returns before Andrew pulls him back down for another kiss.
*
There is a tiny part of Andrew that does not want to open his eyes the next morning. He’s worried Jesse won’t be there (though, really, this is their apartment, where else would he go?).
But Andrew summons up all his strength and does it.
And when he does, Jesse is lying right there next to him, already awake with eyes open, looking straight at him.
Andrew’s heart does somersaults in his chest. He could literally prance around the apartment and sing Disney tunes right now, that’s how happy he is. There is no word for how good he feels at this particular moment. Is it even a feeling?
“Hey,” he says, instead of repeating the gushing that is his thoughts. “What are you doing?”
Jesse smiles. “Definitely not watching you sleep, if that’s what you’re asking,” he quips.
Andrew doesn’t believe him, and his smirk gives it away, but he still leans toward him for a slow, lazy, languid kiss. He pulls away and looks up at Jesse from underneath his eyelids.
“Oh, by the way?” Jesse says.
Andrew nods, encouraging him on.
“I love you too.”
Andrew absolutely beams in response, he’s smiling so big he think his face may crack. He can’t even count the amount of times he’s dreamt that Jesse would say that, but reality is better than any of those daydreams. Jesse looks a little shy, he’s blushing, but still content that he’s made Andrew absolutely blissful.
“D’you remember what you said last night, about how sometimes when we’re together, you feel like you’re at the peak of happiness?” he asks. Jesse nods.
Andrew whispers as he goes in to press another kiss to Jesse’s lips, so low that Jesse has to strain to hear him, “Me too.”
*
Thanks for reading!
Jesse is terrified of thunderstorms, and there's a nasty one raging outside. Cue Jesse freaking out and Andrew holding him and cuddling with him and talking him through it. If this leads to sweet lovemaking, that would be fantastic, but it doesn't have to. Just Andrew and Jesse being adorable is enough for me.
How can you resist that cuteness? To view on the kink meme, click here here, or read the rest behind the cut.
Force of Nature (Jesse/Andrew)
title Force of Nature
pairing/fandom Jesse Eisenberg/Andrew Garfield, The Social Network RPS
word count 2,878
rating pg-13
warnings none
summary In response to the prompt: Jesse is terrified of thunderstorms, and there's a nasty one raging outside. Cue Jesse freaking out and Andrew holding him and cuddling with him and talking him through it. Basically fluff fun.
disclaimer I own nothing, this is not based on the real people but the fictional characters our lovely TSN fandom has created. On the very very slim chance you're here by googling your own name, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
a/n So, I wrote fic? Dunno how that happened. This is my first time posting any fic at all (let alone Jewnicorn fic), so any and all feedback would be very much appreciated. Thanks and enjoy!
Oh, and also, this is set while they are sharing an apartment in Boston during filming of TSN.
*
Andrew and Jesse are watching a movie when the rain starts. They are sitting on opposite ends of the very small couch. Jesse is sitting on only one cushion, being his careful and polite self and not using up any more space than he needs. Andrew, of course, is sprawled everywhere and his legs are in Jesse’s lap. This is how they usually sit when they’re together, and they’re both comfortable.
At first it’s just quiet, drizzling rain, and it doesn’t register with Andrew until suddenly it starts to thunder. He had assumed Jesse didn’t notice it either, but when the first clap of thunder echoes throughout their flat, Jesse jumps a little bit. Andrew looks over at him, protective instincts on edge, but Jesse continues to stare at the TV and pretend it didn’t happen. So Andrew lets it go.
Then there’s lightning, which comes unexpectedly and the flash blinds Andrew for a moment, and he can feel Jesse start to shake a little, but he is still staring fixedly on the TV screen like he doesn’t want Andrew to say anything.
The rain starts to pelt at the windows persistently, and then the wind starts to howl and the lights flicker a little. Jesse is still looking at the TV, but his eyes are unfocused now and it’s obvious he’s not really paying attention. Andrew sits up a little and looks directly at Jesse. He feels torn. He wants to say something, but Jesse is clearly fighting so hard to appear strong with this. Fuck it, he thinks to himself.
“Jess?”
“Yeah?” he refuses to remove his eyes from the TV.
“Are you okay?”
“Mhm.” Jesse is sitting with his left elbow resting on the arm of the chair, his head in his palm. And his hand is visibly shaking. Andrew is doubtful.
“You sure?”
Before Jesse has a chance to respond, there is another flicker of the lights and then they go out. It’s pitch black and Andrew can’t see anything, but he hears a slight whimper that he assumes came from Jesse.
“It’s okay, it’s fine, let me just get some candles…” Andrew tries to assure him, and hurriedly jumps off the couch and stumbles around the apartment a little in order to find them, stubbing his toe in his frantic search. Then he blindly feels his way into the kitchen for matches, knocking over what sounds like some fragile dishes or something, and then pushes around some random crap (read: takeout menus) in one of the drawers until he finds them. He falters back into the living room, sets the candles and matches on the coffee table, and lights them.
The first thing Andrew sees is Jesse curled up with his knees to his chest, like he’s in the fetal position but sitting upright. He is definitely shaking and rocking back and forth a little, and Andrew swears his heart fucking breaks. “Oh, Jess,” Andrew says and rushes over to sit next to him.
Jesse allows him to sit on the opposite end of the couch, but puts his hand out to dissuade Andrew from laying all over him as per usual. “I’m okay, I’m okay…” he protests, but his voice is wavering. Andrew hesitates. Jesse is obviously not okay, but he doesn’t want to smother Jesse either. So he just sits there, looking at an obviously terrified Jesse and crossing and uncrossing his legs, feeling uncomfortable. He’s never felt uncomfortable around Jesse before.
“Fuck it Jess, this is ridiculous,” Andrew finally gives in to his instinctive need to protect Jesse, and pushes Jesse’s head onto his own shoulder, so Jesse is leaning against him and Andrew’s arm is around him. Jesse gives a little whimper, but it’s not one of fear, more like… relief? But Andrew stops himself from pursuing that line of thought any further. He rubs Jesse’s back in hopes of soothing him.
Jesse turns his face into Andrew’s t-shirt and heaves a heavy sigh. “I’m scared of thunderstorms,” he admits.
Andrew laughs. “I gathered that bit, actually. But thanks for letting me know.”
And Jesse laughs a little too, in spite of himself, and Andrew feels like it is a bit of a personal victory. “D’you mind me asking why, Jess?”
Jesse readjusts his head on Andrew’s shoulder so that he’s facing the silent television and the candlelight. “I honestly don’t remember. I have this kind of hazy memory of a thunderstorm one night when I was younger, and my parents were out so we had a sitter, and Hallie Kate was really small but she was screaming bloody murder, plus I was already freaked out because my parents were gone… And I ended up having a panic attack in my room until my parents got back.”
“Oh, Jess…” Andrew breathes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jesse says matter of factly. “It’s not your fault I was born royally screwed up.”
Andrew cannot take that. He doesn’t even care if Jesse is joking or not, that is just too far. He can’t let Jesse think like that. Andrew debates back and forth in his head as another clap of thunder causes Jesse to jump. And that just fucking does it.
“God Jess, don’t say that!” he says, maybe with a little bit of a bite that he didn’t mean it to have. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s how he feels.
Jesse bites his lip (which never fails to make Andrew want to jump on top of him and just kiss him until Jesse is utterly dazed). “A-Andrew--” he begins to stutter, sounding like he’s going to apologize or question, so Andrew stops before he can.
“No. Don’t. I mean… c’mon Jess. Can you just listen? Just for a second?”
A flash of lightning highlights the nervous, confused expression Jesse is wearing, and Andrew starts to feel a little guilty and lose his nerve, but then he feels his heartbeat pounding in his chest and he knows he has to do this.
“Jess… You can’t go around thinking you’re royally screwed up. You just can’t. Because you’re not.”
Jesse blinks and says, “What do you mean?”
Obviously this is going to be difficult, Andrew thinks to himself, but swallows and tries to gather the courage to continue.
“Just because you have anxiety attacks doesn’t mean you’re messed up. Lots of people do,” he tries to explain, chickening out of what he really wants to say.
“You know that’s not the only thing Andrew.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You’re not normal. You like defacing old maps and you have a ton of adorable cats and you always carry a book with you and you bike around New York and you’re absolutely shit at interviews and you listen to musical theatre for chrissakes…”
And Jesse is looking at him like Andrew has just ripped his heart out of his chest… maybe it’s time to wrap this bit up.
“But Jesse, all those things make you you. They make you unique and I know that’s so absolutely fucking cliché, but I don’t even care. All those things are the reason I want to spend every waking moment with you. They’re the reason I miss you when we’re on opposite sides of the country and the reason I can’t stop gushing about you in every interview we do together. Fuck Jess… they’re why I… I…”
“Why you what, Andrew?” Jesse looks up at him like he’s not even allowing himself to hope, he’s being so careful. But then, so is Andrew, he just stopped himself from saying what he had been holding inside himself for months.
Andrew takes a deep breath and looks Jesse in the eye as the rain begins to pound even harder, which causes Jesse to look even more uncertain. “They’re why I’m in love with you.”
Neither of them say anything for a moment, they just let the rain outside scream for both of them while they sit on the very same couch they always do… Jesse looking up at Andrew from his shoulder, Andrew gazing back down at him, still rubbing soothing circles on Jesse’s back. They’re at the edge of something big, they can both feel it, and so they hang there suspended. Neither of them want to be the first one to break the precious silence, after which everything will change.
But Jesse does . “You love me?” he asks, and his voice sounds surprised but maybe a little bit optimistic? He sits up, severing all physical contact with Andrew.
“I do,” he admits, moving so he is sitting criss-crossed across from Jesse and they are looking directly at each other… No way out, no escape, no chickening out this time. This is it. Andrew can’t breathe.
And then suddenly, Jesse surges forward and closes the space between them, and he’s kissing Andrew. He’s kissing Andrew. It’s perfect. It’s everything Andrew’s ever wanted since he first starting having feelings for Jesse. It’s a nervous, rushed kiss, like most first kisses are, and Jesse pulls away quickly, but only a few inches.
Their faces are still close, and Jesse looks up at Andrew from underneath his lashes, pupils full of question marks, like he’s asking Is this okay, are you sure this is what you meant, is this okay?
Andrew cracks a smile, and reaches out to run his thumb over Jesse’s cheek, and he can feel Jesse’s breath hitch, which causes his own heart to flutter a little. “Jess,”
Jesse makes a little whimper in response.
“You are so beautiful.”
Jesse looks stunned, totally taken aback, and opens his mouth like he’s going to protest, but Andrew tumbles forward, knocking him back, in a frenzied attempt to press their lips together again and swallow up any of the untruths Jesse was about to emit.
Despite the energy behind it, it’s a gentle kiss, but then Jesse parts his lips and the kiss deepens. Andrew suddenly finds it quite difficult to keep his hands still, he wants to let them roam all over Jesse, touch all the places he’s always imagined touching. He settles for gently grabbing a wrist with one of his hands to ground himself and using the other to cup Jesse’s face.
Jesse uses his remaining hand (the one that is not currently being shackled by Andrew) to press to the small of Andrew’s back, which causes Andrew to let out a fragile moan which he has kept locked up inside him possibly since he has met Jesse.
In response, Jesse lets out a little chuckle and the kiss breaks. Andrew blushes into Jesse’s chest and tries to cover his face with his hands, but Jesse is having none of it. He takes both of them by the wrists and pulls them away, until all he can see is a very bashful Andrew. “I’m sorry, Jess,” he says. “I’ve just wanted this for so long…”
A smile breaks over Jesse’s face, and his eyes twinkle a little as he replies, “Me too.”
Andrew breathes a sigh of relief. And he lets out a little laugh. Because it’s just too much to think that he’s been pining over Jesse for so long and now it’s finally happened. It feels a little silly, a little ridiculous, that it’s taken them this long. “What cowards we are,” he says.
And then Jesse is laughing too, and the two of them are there, laying on top of each other across the couch that is honestly too small to be making out on, giggling until their stomachs hurt for a full five minutes. And this feels silly too, but Andrew feels truly free for the first time in a long time with Jesse. He’s not holding anything back anymore, it’s only them in their truest forms.
When they have both regained their composure, Jesse is the first one to speak. “You make me happy,” he says simply. “Sometimes, when I’m with you, I feel like it’s the happiest I’ll ever be.”
And that’s just not fair, because something about the way Jesse says it is just so inherently honest that Andrew is seriously holding back tears. It’s too late though, Jesse has seen the tears swimming in his eyes. Andrew may have just let one fall, he will not confirm or deny it, and Jesse may have reached up and brushed it away.
But then they are kissing again, and their legs are all tangled up together and Andrew fleetingly thinks about how many damn clothes they are both wearing. To remedy this, he starts to fumble with the buttons of Jesse’s shirt, which causes Jesse to smile a little into the kiss but he does not attempt to start Andrew. Which Andrew interprets as a sign to keep on, of course.
Eventually (miraculously) they are able to get all the buttons undone (it was a team effort, honestly, seeing as both their hands were shaking like leaves bullied by hostile autumn winds), and Jesse’s shirt comes off. They gasp simultaneously as Andrew drags his hand over Jesse’s chest… first contact, skin to skin, and it’s electric. Truthfully, Andrew is surprised he isn’t leaving a trail of sparks across the two of them, their chemistry is so compatible.
They’re still all scrunched up on the tiny couch, but Andrew is trying not to mind, honestly… until Jesse hits his head on the arm of the couch. And that’s the end of that. Andrew is forcibly dragging Jesse up and out by his wrists, who is complaining all the way, whining feeble, “Andrew, I’m fine, really…”s all the way to the bedroom.
“Jess, seriously. It’s okay. Look,” he says as they enter his room, and Andrew gestures to the bed. “A lot more space,” he finishes with a chuckle.
“And no sharp edges,” Jesse teases back, which causes Andrew to send him a look, which he means to be a glare but it comes out more adoring than anything else. Because obviously he can’t even pretend to be mad at Jesse, he’s much too weak for that.
Together they fall onto the bed, and they’re kissing again, this time with more intent and purpose. Clothes are being shed at an alarming rate, but then all of the sudden Andrew stops. And Jesse stops too, immediately looking remorseful, like he thinks he’s done something wrong, which just isn’t the case at all.
“Listen, Jesse,” Andrew urges, by way of explanation.
Jesse seems to consider this for a second and then turns back to Andrew with an utterly confused look. “I don’t hear anything,” he answers.
Which makes Andrew positively beam. “The storm?”
Jesse treats Andrew to a grin, the kind that Andrew always wants to take a picture of and keep in his pocket to look at when he’s having a particularly bad day, the kind that comes complete with Jesse’s blinding white teeth and absolutely adorable dimples, the kind that reaches all the way into his eyes. “That’s the first time I made it through a thunderstorm since that first night,” he admits. Then a look of uncertainty comes over his face. “Wait, please tell me you did not just tell me you loved me and started kissing me and soon hopefully more to distract me from a thunderstorm.”
Andrew throws his head back into a full, genuine, loving laugh. “I’m not that much of a masochist, Jess,” he assures Jesse, and Jesse’s wide grin returns before Andrew pulls him back down for another kiss.
*
There is a tiny part of Andrew that does not want to open his eyes the next morning. He’s worried Jesse won’t be there (though, really, this is their apartment, where else would he go?).
But Andrew summons up all his strength and does it.
And when he does, Jesse is lying right there next to him, already awake with eyes open, looking straight at him.
Andrew’s heart does somersaults in his chest. He could literally prance around the apartment and sing Disney tunes right now, that’s how happy he is. There is no word for how good he feels at this particular moment. Is it even a feeling?
“Hey,” he says, instead of repeating the gushing that is his thoughts. “What are you doing?”
Jesse smiles. “Definitely not watching you sleep, if that’s what you’re asking,” he quips.
Andrew doesn’t believe him, and his smirk gives it away, but he still leans toward him for a slow, lazy, languid kiss. He pulls away and looks up at Jesse from underneath his eyelids.
“Oh, by the way?” Jesse says.
Andrew nods, encouraging him on.
“I love you too.”
Andrew absolutely beams in response, he’s smiling so big he think his face may crack. He can’t even count the amount of times he’s dreamt that Jesse would say that, but reality is better than any of those daydreams. Jesse looks a little shy, he’s blushing, but still content that he’s made Andrew absolutely blissful.
“D’you remember what you said last night, about how sometimes when we’re together, you feel like you’re at the peak of happiness?” he asks. Jesse nods.
Andrew whispers as he goes in to press another kiss to Jesse’s lips, so low that Jesse has to strain to hear him, “Me too.”
*
Thanks for reading!