People are seriously amazing and disappointing.
So I have to find a place to be able to convey my thoughts and i never use my LJ for this purpose anymore which I should. I am feeling very isolated and alone. I am unhappy with where my life is right now.
So I have done alot for Jeramie and the reason for this is becuz I love him. I admitted it after his accident in September 2013, and he admitted it then. But then he has not been able to be in a relationship becuz he is working on himself and I get it. I really do. But it is getting to a bad point where I cannot sit around and wait anymore. I am 43 and not getting any younger.
All of my friends are married and have kids. I feel like a failure becuz i am single and the fact is I prob will not have kids due to my age and financial status. I have a godson and I have surrogate kids but it is not the same thing. But more importantly I am so lonely both physically and emotionally. I cannot have a dog where I live which makes it harder too.
And then there is J. He says some nasty things at times which are so uncalled for. Yesterday he said to me well I don't have to speak to you every day. You are not my wife or my girlfriend.
It cut like a knife when he said that. it was so uncalled for and there was no good reason for saying something so nasty!! and he does that alot. He had said before "we are not on a date" and when I mentioned Lee "he is not your ex-boyfriend." His comments are absolutely unnecessary. and he says well it is a fact.
Well on that line, I could say well you have told me alot of facts that have not occurred so what about that. But I do not feel the need to stoop to his level.
And then there is someone else. Someone I have loved for 12 years. We will see how that goes. If I even get to see him.
Just kind of feel heartbroken and lonely and isolated.
So I have done alot for Jeramie and the reason for this is becuz I love him. I admitted it after his accident in September 2013, and he admitted it then. But then he has not been able to be in a relationship becuz he is working on himself and I get it. I really do. But it is getting to a bad point where I cannot sit around and wait anymore. I am 43 and not getting any younger.
All of my friends are married and have kids. I feel like a failure becuz i am single and the fact is I prob will not have kids due to my age and financial status. I have a godson and I have surrogate kids but it is not the same thing. But more importantly I am so lonely both physically and emotionally. I cannot have a dog where I live which makes it harder too.
And then there is J. He says some nasty things at times which are so uncalled for. Yesterday he said to me well I don't have to speak to you every day. You are not my wife or my girlfriend.
It cut like a knife when he said that. it was so uncalled for and there was no good reason for saying something so nasty!! and he does that alot. He had said before "we are not on a date" and when I mentioned Lee "he is not your ex-boyfriend." His comments are absolutely unnecessary. and he says well it is a fact.
Well on that line, I could say well you have told me alot of facts that have not occurred so what about that. But I do not feel the need to stoop to his level.
And then there is someone else. Someone I have loved for 12 years. We will see how that goes. If I even get to see him.
Just kind of feel heartbroken and lonely and isolated.