The Answer To Why I Won't UnCloset
Okay, I wrote this because of some comment made by persons unnamed about how its sort of hyopcritical of me that certain people (my parents, family, non-close friends) don't know that I am gay. If you are one of the people who didn't know this, this is why.
I fear my sexuality because
With it, you will define me
And I will cease to be
The smart one, the artsy one
The enlightened one, the friend
And I become instead
The dyke, the lesbo, the fag.
All about me, excused, dismissed
Categorized, reshelved
The Book of Me becomes
The Book of Homosexuality
And once that happens,
What is there for me to do
But be that person, to
Flirt furitively, crassly,
Use my sexuality for shock value,
Fill my nights with one-night stands,
Be chased and caught by
Bi-curious women who will
Leave me, worn and fallen,
At the conclusion of their experiment.
I would become bitter, cynical
A heartless parody of womanhood
Bleeding from the snag of self-righteous barbs
I am gay, but I do not say it
Because I am also a person, a woman
I skin my knees, sprain my ankles
I lie to the Red Cross so I can give blood
I cry when my friends are in pain
And lie when I am in pain
I get songs stuck in my head
And sing them in all the wrong moments
If you tell me a secret, I'll keep it
Ask me for advice, and I'll try to give it
I hurt when people leave me
And can't help but dance when they return
If you're cold, I'll give you my jacket
If you want to talk, I'll listen
I want to be a writer "when I grow up"
I want to have a child "when I grow up" -
I've already chosen her name
I want to be happy
In that, I am no different from you
But you would allow one word
To get in the way of that
So I won't give you that power
I'm not ashamed of who I am
But you are
You prove it everytime you
Hurl out "fag" as an insult, every time
You classify an artist as "the gay one"
Everytime you use words in a book
From another time to call me sin
Look into my eyes and tell me
I am a perversion, I am wrong
(Its cheating if you close your eyes)
Tell me I'm not a person, as much
A person as you. There are so
Many ways we are different - why
Do you focus on this one thing?
I fear my sexuality because
With it, you will define me
And I will cease to be
The smart one, the artsy one
The enlightened one, the friend
And I become instead
The dyke, the lesbo, the fag.
All about me, excused, dismissed
Categorized, reshelved
The Book of Me becomes
The Book of Homosexuality
And once that happens,
What is there for me to do
But be that person, to
Flirt furitively, crassly,
Use my sexuality for shock value,
Fill my nights with one-night stands,
Be chased and caught by
Bi-curious women who will
Leave me, worn and fallen,
At the conclusion of their experiment.
I would become bitter, cynical
A heartless parody of womanhood
Bleeding from the snag of self-righteous barbs
I am gay, but I do not say it
Because I am also a person, a woman
I skin my knees, sprain my ankles
I lie to the Red Cross so I can give blood
I cry when my friends are in pain
And lie when I am in pain
I get songs stuck in my head
And sing them in all the wrong moments
If you tell me a secret, I'll keep it
Ask me for advice, and I'll try to give it
I hurt when people leave me
And can't help but dance when they return
If you're cold, I'll give you my jacket
If you want to talk, I'll listen
I want to be a writer "when I grow up"
I want to have a child "when I grow up" -
I've already chosen her name
I want to be happy
In that, I am no different from you
But you would allow one word
To get in the way of that
So I won't give you that power
I'm not ashamed of who I am
But you are
You prove it everytime you
Hurl out "fag" as an insult, every time
You classify an artist as "the gay one"
Everytime you use words in a book
From another time to call me sin
Look into my eyes and tell me
I am a perversion, I am wrong
(Its cheating if you close your eyes)
Tell me I'm not a person, as much
A person as you. There are so
Many ways we are different - why
Do you focus on this one thing?