A Better Update
So. I went to Japan. (See adventurelis). I came back from Japan. (See long period of silence and lack of communication). This year, this 2010, is all about returning to Japan. And possibly realizing my goal of world domination. (More on that later).
I will tell a story of me. Last night I got my coke (cola-just to clarify) craving. This craving cannot be denied but from whence it came I know not. I never gave a flip about the cola before it was always Sprite and then suddenly a month or two ago, BAM. I must have that Coke. I needed fountain coke last night. I needed it bad. The best fountain cokes in town are at that one McDonalds. It's not too far so off I go. Unfortunately, there was a line (unusual). So I waited. I waited 15-20 minutes. FINALLY I get to the window to receive my 1 tiny order. A large coke. That's all. Well, there was some newbie at the window and he couldn't figure out how to operate the drink dispenser...*smacks face* His manager had to come show him how. I'm not kidding, 5 minutes of sitting and staring at him at the window later I finally get my coke. So I drive home. I didn't wind up taking my first sip until after I was parked (Don't drink and drive kids!)! ...
..
.
It was Dr.Pepper. It was not a coke. After all that pain and agony and troubleshooting and he couldn't even manage to get the drink right. We all know. Pepsi, Coke, Dr.Pepper. There is a difference. We know. But I decided to drop it because that Dr.Pepper didn't taste half bad. I'm unlocking the door to my apartment and I DROP IT AND IT EXPLODES ALL OVER THE DOORMAT. After everything that happened I DROP IT. It was a complete and total loss. I had maybe 4 sips of that thing. I wound up running to the gas station and getting a bottle of coke anyway. The only thing I can say is if it had been a coke and I dropped it, I would have cried real tears.
ALSO! I have a fish. His name is Senshi-tachi but he never gets called that anymore. He's just fishie. heh. I am the only person on the planet, I will bet you a bajillin dollars that I am the only person on the planet who gets psychologically jerked around by their FISH. Since day one DAY ONE it has been a constant guessing game as to whether the fish is alive. I SHIT YOU NOT. Every single day when I come home he looks dead. (I mean obviously he has nothing to do all day but come up with new and exciting ways to pretend to be a corpse but STILL!)! I walk in the door and think, EVERYDAY. Oh no, the fish is dead. This time he really is dead. He floats at the top. He lies flat on the bottom. His little flippers do not move. These were the first stages. Gradually, he learned how to fucking stop HIS GILLS FROM MOVING HE HOLDS HIS BREATH (in so much as a fish can). !.!
So now I've gotten used to seeing my fish not INTAKE AIR for periods of time (whilst floating listlessly at the top or lying flat on bottom. Ok. Well.
He's outdone himself. Tuesday I come home and He is floating sideways at the top of the bowl. SIDEWAYS. I started tearing up and everything and I was all, "Oh fishie...*choke back sob* you're dead *half sob half sob* I reached out a finger (WHICH TREMBLED) and stroked the side of the bowl.
...
..
.
And he calmly flips himself upright and swims away. I really thought that that was it for him. I cried. I CRIED. That motherfucker.
Thus is my relationship with the pet in my apartment.
"No man is an island"
-John Donne
...Dude. Have YOU SEEN male angsting teenage boys? I know you were one. seriously. Everything is an island that must be enduring with dignity and suffering. And everyone must know about it. Island, dignity, suffering; all.
jaa
me
I will tell a story of me. Last night I got my coke (cola-just to clarify) craving. This craving cannot be denied but from whence it came I know not. I never gave a flip about the cola before it was always Sprite and then suddenly a month or two ago, BAM. I must have that Coke. I needed fountain coke last night. I needed it bad. The best fountain cokes in town are at that one McDonalds. It's not too far so off I go. Unfortunately, there was a line (unusual). So I waited. I waited 15-20 minutes. FINALLY I get to the window to receive my 1 tiny order. A large coke. That's all. Well, there was some newbie at the window and he couldn't figure out how to operate the drink dispenser...*smacks face* His manager had to come show him how. I'm not kidding, 5 minutes of sitting and staring at him at the window later I finally get my coke. So I drive home. I didn't wind up taking my first sip until after I was parked (Don't drink and drive kids!)! ...
..
.
It was Dr.Pepper. It was not a coke. After all that pain and agony and troubleshooting and he couldn't even manage to get the drink right. We all know. Pepsi, Coke, Dr.Pepper. There is a difference. We know. But I decided to drop it because that Dr.Pepper didn't taste half bad. I'm unlocking the door to my apartment and I DROP IT AND IT EXPLODES ALL OVER THE DOORMAT. After everything that happened I DROP IT. It was a complete and total loss. I had maybe 4 sips of that thing. I wound up running to the gas station and getting a bottle of coke anyway. The only thing I can say is if it had been a coke and I dropped it, I would have cried real tears.
ALSO! I have a fish. His name is Senshi-tachi but he never gets called that anymore. He's just fishie. heh. I am the only person on the planet, I will bet you a bajillin dollars that I am the only person on the planet who gets psychologically jerked around by their FISH. Since day one DAY ONE it has been a constant guessing game as to whether the fish is alive. I SHIT YOU NOT. Every single day when I come home he looks dead. (I mean obviously he has nothing to do all day but come up with new and exciting ways to pretend to be a corpse but STILL!)! I walk in the door and think, EVERYDAY. Oh no, the fish is dead. This time he really is dead. He floats at the top. He lies flat on the bottom. His little flippers do not move. These were the first stages. Gradually, he learned how to fucking stop HIS GILLS FROM MOVING HE HOLDS HIS BREATH (in so much as a fish can). !.!
So now I've gotten used to seeing my fish not INTAKE AIR for periods of time (whilst floating listlessly at the top or lying flat on bottom. Ok. Well.
He's outdone himself. Tuesday I come home and He is floating sideways at the top of the bowl. SIDEWAYS. I started tearing up and everything and I was all, "Oh fishie...*choke back sob* you're dead *half sob half sob* I reached out a finger (WHICH TREMBLED) and stroked the side of the bowl.
...
..
.
And he calmly flips himself upright and swims away. I really thought that that was it for him. I cried. I CRIED. That motherfucker.
Thus is my relationship with the pet in my apartment.
"No man is an island"
-John Donne
...Dude. Have YOU SEEN male angsting teenage boys? I know you were one. seriously. Everything is an island that must be enduring with dignity and suffering. And everyone must know about it. Island, dignity, suffering; all.
jaa
me