(no subject)
i hate looking back sometimes.
sometimes im happy that we dont talk to eachother. i think its because i feel like you hate me. technically you have every right to hate me. okay maybe not every right, some of those things are misunderstandings..
and then thats when i sometiems wish that we were friends. id like to be able to explain to you that those things were misunderstandings. if only you would just listen to me, listen to what i have to say. i know for a fact that you're a nice person. its just that sometimes i guess you're feeligns towards me overcome your "nice" factor. and you just focus on all these things are are, according to you , my fault. and like i said yeah maybe those things are my fault. but then again, a lot of those things are also misunderstandings.
today i think i saw you. and i almost went up to you. so that i could talk to you and you know what i honestly dont know what i would've said to you. but i would love to have a conversation with you sometime. if thats okay.
i've seen the scenario play out various ways in my head.
scenario one: i go up to you. you look at me like im psycho. i walk away
scenario two: i go up to you. i ask if youll just give me two minutes. and we actually talk and things are okay afterwards.
scenario three: i go up to you. i ask if we can talk. you laugh in my face and walk away. i stand there like an idiot.
so yeah. i think those are basically my options. notice how they all involve me going up to you first.
but the thing is i feel like maybe i should wait. for what? well i think i should wait for you to talk first. i think maybe theres less of a chance of me being laughed at or glared at most probably.
so hopefully that happens soon. im sorry i just dont like this thing thats between us. this tension. maybe you can live with it. or maybe you dont even feel it. and yeah i guess i can live with it. its just so exhausting.
so when can we talk?
sometimes im happy that we dont talk to eachother. i think its because i feel like you hate me. technically you have every right to hate me. okay maybe not every right, some of those things are misunderstandings..
and then thats when i sometiems wish that we were friends. id like to be able to explain to you that those things were misunderstandings. if only you would just listen to me, listen to what i have to say. i know for a fact that you're a nice person. its just that sometimes i guess you're feeligns towards me overcome your "nice" factor. and you just focus on all these things are are, according to you , my fault. and like i said yeah maybe those things are my fault. but then again, a lot of those things are also misunderstandings.
today i think i saw you. and i almost went up to you. so that i could talk to you and you know what i honestly dont know what i would've said to you. but i would love to have a conversation with you sometime. if thats okay.
i've seen the scenario play out various ways in my head.
scenario one: i go up to you. you look at me like im psycho. i walk away
scenario two: i go up to you. i ask if youll just give me two minutes. and we actually talk and things are okay afterwards.
scenario three: i go up to you. i ask if we can talk. you laugh in my face and walk away. i stand there like an idiot.
so yeah. i think those are basically my options. notice how they all involve me going up to you first.
but the thing is i feel like maybe i should wait. for what? well i think i should wait for you to talk first. i think maybe theres less of a chance of me being laughed at or glared at most probably.
so hopefully that happens soon. im sorry i just dont like this thing thats between us. this tension. maybe you can live with it. or maybe you dont even feel it. and yeah i guess i can live with it. its just so exhausting.
so when can we talk?