a rare occasion
I think that if I really have to be thankful for anything in my life thus far, it's that I have this certain sensibility...no...it's almost more like an aura around me that prevents folks from ever blowing smoke up my ass concerning just about anything.
It really varies depending on how you look at it. I remember once that somebody whom I was very close with at the time had bluntly told me, "James, I truly believe that you're some sort of genius, but your complacency and lethargy is keeping you from realizing it". Ever since that day, I've busted my ass by putting myself through every ridiculous rigor, by jumping through every single hoop that is needed in order to "climb the ladder of success", so-to-speak, in American society. I've been playing their game, but I've been doing it on my own terms. Never would have reached that point had it not been for those stark words.
Same with my music. I hate people pretending to laud my art when I know that deep down inside they'd much rather be listening to a shitty third-rate band attempting to emulate The Rolling Stones or Arcade Fire (depending on which end of the spectrum you reside on). It's a nice sentiment, but it's just insincerity. I'll be the first to admit that I don't make music that's generally supposed to be enjoyed by a wide audience, not meant to be danced to, and probably won't keep you awake at night trying to digest a vast array of deep and meaningful lyrics that you may or may not want to live your life according to. If you think it sucks, don't stifle yourself. I'm a big boy...I can handle criticism. I've spent nearly every single day of my teenage and young adult years having it heaped on me. Thick skin, man.
I suppose that the point I'm trying to make is that the more time has gone on, the more I've realized that the only advice that I've ever taken to heart has come from people who have that strange sort of tact in which they can tell you the unabashed truth that you probably don't want to hear, but do it in such a way that makes it impossible to hate em. Not so much that they're looking out for me, but...I don't know...I think that sometimes you get a little more of a clearer picture when you view things with a busted outlook. You don't get bogged down with bias or wanting to spare feelings or any of that sort of crap.
It really must be nice to have somebody just swoop in out of nowhere and save your life, pick up the pieces and help you move onward and upward. I've never had that. I've had to work and struggle and persevere all by myself. It's a long, winding, dirty, ugly road that I've had to trudge through, one step at a time, for many years now, and there's still no clear end in sight. You don't know it, but having somebody on that journey...you take shit like that for granted without even realizing it. My life isn't the sort that would make a great script for some shitty Seth Rogan comedy flick. It's the sort of day to day assembly of rote activities and frustrations and realizations that we're all too fucking human that people just generally want to pretend doesn't really exist, but it does....people slip through the cracks and live to talk about it, though I don't blame them at all for wanting to just hold it all in.
The next time you encounter somebody trying to give you advice, somebody who seems to have it all "figured out", ask them if they're the sort of person who feels that it is important to embrace change in one's life. If they say yes, they're a goddamned liar. Life is meant to be ever-changing and, most importantly, experienced...not figured out like some sort of cosmic riddle.
What a wonderful trainwreck of thoughts. Hope I've ruined your day just a little bit. I'm going to try to enjoy my four and a half hours of sleep.
It really varies depending on how you look at it. I remember once that somebody whom I was very close with at the time had bluntly told me, "James, I truly believe that you're some sort of genius, but your complacency and lethargy is keeping you from realizing it". Ever since that day, I've busted my ass by putting myself through every ridiculous rigor, by jumping through every single hoop that is needed in order to "climb the ladder of success", so-to-speak, in American society. I've been playing their game, but I've been doing it on my own terms. Never would have reached that point had it not been for those stark words.
Same with my music. I hate people pretending to laud my art when I know that deep down inside they'd much rather be listening to a shitty third-rate band attempting to emulate The Rolling Stones or Arcade Fire (depending on which end of the spectrum you reside on). It's a nice sentiment, but it's just insincerity. I'll be the first to admit that I don't make music that's generally supposed to be enjoyed by a wide audience, not meant to be danced to, and probably won't keep you awake at night trying to digest a vast array of deep and meaningful lyrics that you may or may not want to live your life according to. If you think it sucks, don't stifle yourself. I'm a big boy...I can handle criticism. I've spent nearly every single day of my teenage and young adult years having it heaped on me. Thick skin, man.
I suppose that the point I'm trying to make is that the more time has gone on, the more I've realized that the only advice that I've ever taken to heart has come from people who have that strange sort of tact in which they can tell you the unabashed truth that you probably don't want to hear, but do it in such a way that makes it impossible to hate em. Not so much that they're looking out for me, but...I don't know...I think that sometimes you get a little more of a clearer picture when you view things with a busted outlook. You don't get bogged down with bias or wanting to spare feelings or any of that sort of crap.
It really must be nice to have somebody just swoop in out of nowhere and save your life, pick up the pieces and help you move onward and upward. I've never had that. I've had to work and struggle and persevere all by myself. It's a long, winding, dirty, ugly road that I've had to trudge through, one step at a time, for many years now, and there's still no clear end in sight. You don't know it, but having somebody on that journey...you take shit like that for granted without even realizing it. My life isn't the sort that would make a great script for some shitty Seth Rogan comedy flick. It's the sort of day to day assembly of rote activities and frustrations and realizations that we're all too fucking human that people just generally want to pretend doesn't really exist, but it does....people slip through the cracks and live to talk about it, though I don't blame them at all for wanting to just hold it all in.
The next time you encounter somebody trying to give you advice, somebody who seems to have it all "figured out", ask them if they're the sort of person who feels that it is important to embrace change in one's life. If they say yes, they're a goddamned liar. Life is meant to be ever-changing and, most importantly, experienced...not figured out like some sort of cosmic riddle.
What a wonderful trainwreck of thoughts. Hope I've ruined your day just a little bit. I'm going to try to enjoy my four and a half hours of sleep.