Gossip Girl's being realistic? Gasp!
It's been a couple weeks since the season finale of Gossip Girl, and I've finally realized that Blair's inability to choose between Chuck and Dan really doesn't bother me all that much. It's frustrating, yes. It's very, very frustrating, and it makes me want to hurl heavy and breakable things at my TV screen. But it's very real.
Let me establish one thing, all of this ignores the decision Blair made in "The Return of the Ring." I'm talking about Blair's indecision before that ridiculous choice in the finale. The decision Blair made there is a discussion for another day.
Looking at Blair's indecision from a real life, emotional point of view made me realize that her actions were very understandable. Blair spent the first fifteen years of her life expecting to marry Nate, believing that Nate was her happily ever after. Then we see her falling for Chuck and sticking by his side despite everything he put her through. From these two relationships, we can see that Blair is a very faithful person. She is capable of beginning a relationship and seeing it through to the very end, regardless of what that end may be. She loves deeply and unconditionally. Of course, all that isn't to say that her relationships are perfect. Far from it. But many of her problems stem from the fact that she is unable to let go of her former loves. After everything went to hell with Nate, she couldn't truly have a relationship with Chuck because one, the novelty of it terrified her, and two, she couldn't let go of her fairy tale with Nate. Because of this, she constantly wavered back and forth between Nate and Chuck, unable to choose one and let go of the other. Nate had been such a huge part of her life for so long that she couldn't just decide, "It's over," and fall into Chuck's arms without a second thought.
She's in a very similar situation with Chuck and Dan now. But now, her choice is ten times as difficult because Chuck has a much greater hold on her than Nate ever did. To Blair, Nate was her "always have, always will." Nate was Prince Charming. At the risk of sounding cruel, Nate was a means to an end. I've no doubt that Blair loved him, but Nate represented an idea rather than a person. When she let him go, she was giving up the picture-perfect life she planned in her head. She and Nate, while good friends, never really understood one another.
With Chuck, while things started out superficially, they found in each other someone they could do anything with without fear of judgment. Of course, the lack of judgment went a bit too far, but that's an entirely different topic. Blair grew up with endless expectations heaped on her. With Chuck, for the first time, there were no expectations. It was very freeing. For the first time, Blair gave all of herself to someone. She and Chuck had a rocky start, but Blair truly loved him and they made it work. Blair loved Chuck the person and their relationship was intense and passionate. They had a very special, undefinable relationship. Chuck was right to some degree when he called him and Blair "magnetic." They came together again and again because they knew that they could make as many mistakes as they wanted with each other, but chances were, the other person would've done something equally bad or even worse. This is an unhealthy outlook, to be sure, but it's a very seductive option. Blair was constantly afraid of showing her new boyfriends her "dark side." She was terrified of what Cameron would think if he knew about her scheming and she was terrified that Louis wouldn't love her dark side. Those fears weren't an issue with Chuck.
But simpler than all that, Chuck and Blair loved each other. It was a great love. The most powerful Blair had ever experienced. Who could expect her to end that relationship and bounce back right away?
Like she couldn't let go of the picture-perfect life she could've had with Nate or her dream of being a princess with Louis, Blair also couldn't (perhaps still can't) let go of what Chuck meant to her. People say you never forget your first love. There will always be a connection there because there are certain relationship that are just that special. It makes good sense that despite what Blair was feeling for Dan, she couldn't completely give up the love she once had with Chuck. In this case, Chuck was "safe," Chuck was "easy," and Chuck was a routine she could fall back into as easily as breathing. Dan meant exploring unchartered territory and risking her heart again. Is it any wonder Blair couldn't make a choice?
Blair loved Chuck for so long that she couldn't imagine loving someone else like that. A love like that doesn't go away in a day. It's like when Serena couldn't stop loving Dan all those seasons ago. Serena told Dan, "I loved you. And just because we broke up doesn't mean I could just turn it off like that." Likewise, Blair can't just "turn off" how she feels about Chuck because she's fallen for Dan. I find it very realistic that Blair oscillated between Chuck and Dan.
I was endlessly frustrated with her inability to just choose one of them (especially since Dan was clearly the better choice), but in hindsight, I'm glad that Blair didn't just quit Chuck cold turkey. If she had, that would've been unnatural. In fact, if she did, I'd have to wonder if Blair ever loved Chuck at all in the first place.
Let me establish one thing, all of this ignores the decision Blair made in "The Return of the Ring." I'm talking about Blair's indecision before that ridiculous choice in the finale. The decision Blair made there is a discussion for another day.
Looking at Blair's indecision from a real life, emotional point of view made me realize that her actions were very understandable. Blair spent the first fifteen years of her life expecting to marry Nate, believing that Nate was her happily ever after. Then we see her falling for Chuck and sticking by his side despite everything he put her through. From these two relationships, we can see that Blair is a very faithful person. She is capable of beginning a relationship and seeing it through to the very end, regardless of what that end may be. She loves deeply and unconditionally. Of course, all that isn't to say that her relationships are perfect. Far from it. But many of her problems stem from the fact that she is unable to let go of her former loves. After everything went to hell with Nate, she couldn't truly have a relationship with Chuck because one, the novelty of it terrified her, and two, she couldn't let go of her fairy tale with Nate. Because of this, she constantly wavered back and forth between Nate and Chuck, unable to choose one and let go of the other. Nate had been such a huge part of her life for so long that she couldn't just decide, "It's over," and fall into Chuck's arms without a second thought.
She's in a very similar situation with Chuck and Dan now. But now, her choice is ten times as difficult because Chuck has a much greater hold on her than Nate ever did. To Blair, Nate was her "always have, always will." Nate was Prince Charming. At the risk of sounding cruel, Nate was a means to an end. I've no doubt that Blair loved him, but Nate represented an idea rather than a person. When she let him go, she was giving up the picture-perfect life she planned in her head. She and Nate, while good friends, never really understood one another.
With Chuck, while things started out superficially, they found in each other someone they could do anything with without fear of judgment. Of course, the lack of judgment went a bit too far, but that's an entirely different topic. Blair grew up with endless expectations heaped on her. With Chuck, for the first time, there were no expectations. It was very freeing. For the first time, Blair gave all of herself to someone. She and Chuck had a rocky start, but Blair truly loved him and they made it work. Blair loved Chuck the person and their relationship was intense and passionate. They had a very special, undefinable relationship. Chuck was right to some degree when he called him and Blair "magnetic." They came together again and again because they knew that they could make as many mistakes as they wanted with each other, but chances were, the other person would've done something equally bad or even worse. This is an unhealthy outlook, to be sure, but it's a very seductive option. Blair was constantly afraid of showing her new boyfriends her "dark side." She was terrified of what Cameron would think if he knew about her scheming and she was terrified that Louis wouldn't love her dark side. Those fears weren't an issue with Chuck.
But simpler than all that, Chuck and Blair loved each other. It was a great love. The most powerful Blair had ever experienced. Who could expect her to end that relationship and bounce back right away?
Like she couldn't let go of the picture-perfect life she could've had with Nate or her dream of being a princess with Louis, Blair also couldn't (perhaps still can't) let go of what Chuck meant to her. People say you never forget your first love. There will always be a connection there because there are certain relationship that are just that special. It makes good sense that despite what Blair was feeling for Dan, she couldn't completely give up the love she once had with Chuck. In this case, Chuck was "safe," Chuck was "easy," and Chuck was a routine she could fall back into as easily as breathing. Dan meant exploring unchartered territory and risking her heart again. Is it any wonder Blair couldn't make a choice?
Blair loved Chuck for so long that she couldn't imagine loving someone else like that. A love like that doesn't go away in a day. It's like when Serena couldn't stop loving Dan all those seasons ago. Serena told Dan, "I loved you. And just because we broke up doesn't mean I could just turn it off like that." Likewise, Blair can't just "turn off" how she feels about Chuck because she's fallen for Dan. I find it very realistic that Blair oscillated between Chuck and Dan.
I was endlessly frustrated with her inability to just choose one of them (especially since Dan was clearly the better choice), but in hindsight, I'm glad that Blair didn't just quit Chuck cold turkey. If she had, that would've been unnatural. In fact, if she did, I'd have to wonder if Blair ever loved Chuck at all in the first place.