Pirates, Yo.

[seraravi]

Jenny and I have recently gotten back into the scifi/fantsty-ish collab we concocted a while ago, so I did a tiny bit of writing for it. I'm giddy over this collab right now.

We've got some pirates below the cut.

Comments

[dumpysaurus]

So you know I love this because THEY R OUR PIRATES. Hahaha, Reno's incredible patience with Scrim's verbosity is still my most fevorite part. Reno's character comes across SO strongly here. I need part two like burning.

I like the descriptions of all three of them but I think maybe you could spread them out a bit more. Like after Reno's paragraph, have him talk to Scrim, then give Scrim's response and use that as an opportunity to talk about Scrim, and same with Boruk when he enters the conversation. That way things are accelerating forward while we get the descriptions instead of having them all at once, which sort of makes it feel like things don't move until they're out of the way. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? I know I have a beastly time working character descriptions into writing (I think I've been frightened into thinking ANY kills the pace) and a lot of times I end up on the anemic side. I mean there was absolutely NOTHING in the Juti bit I just wrote. Somewhere between the both of us there is a happy medium.

But god dang, I dig this. It's all so cartoonish and exaggerated (Boruk breaking the doorframe, the names of the taverns, HA), I can totally see it playing out like a cartoon in my head. Let's send this to Korea and have it animated.