Doctors: a love/hate relationship.
But seriously, I feel like the punchline to a joke.
Dr: How’s the Celiac disease?
Me: Fine, no more diarrhea.
Dr: Good. No one should have to live with that. Diarrhea is terrible. How’s the anxiety and depression?
Me: …. My grandfather died Saturday, this isn’t really a good time to be asking.
Dr: Okay. Migraines?
Me: See above.
Dr: Weight gain…
Me: Yes, no matter what I do it’s like, I gain weight. I eat well and everything but since 2006, I’ve gained 40 pounds. It won’t stop. I hate it.
Dr: All right. And how’s the fatigue?
Me: TERRIBLE. I’m tired all the time and I feel like everyone thinks they know why and they’re never right. I’ve been like this since 2006. And first it was Mono, and then it was Depression, and then it was my thyroid, and then it was Vitamin D, and I’m on medication for ALL of those things but I’m still exhausted. I’ve been exhausted, every day, for 5 years. That’s not right.
Dr: Well how do you mean exhausted?
Me: I mean, I’m tired all the time! If there’s no alarm clock or no phone goes off? I can sleep until 1, 2, 3 pm, and then go to bed at 10, and still sleep. Because I’m TIRED.
Dr: Sounds like you have depression.
Me: …. Are you kidding me? We know that. I’m on meds for that.
Dr: Let’s up them. Also, are you aware that being overweight can make you tired?
Me: …. What.
Dr: Obesity is an epidemic in this country.
Me: So… I’m tired… because I’m fat.
Dr: Also, I’m prescribing an antibiotic for your hidradenitis. Just to warn you, the increased Zoloft and the antibiotics will probably give you diarrhea.
Seriously. I give up. I’m never going to feel good.
Dr: How’s the Celiac disease?
Me: Fine, no more diarrhea.
Dr: Good. No one should have to live with that. Diarrhea is terrible. How’s the anxiety and depression?
Me: …. My grandfather died Saturday, this isn’t really a good time to be asking.
Dr: Okay. Migraines?
Me: See above.
Dr: Weight gain…
Me: Yes, no matter what I do it’s like, I gain weight. I eat well and everything but since 2006, I’ve gained 40 pounds. It won’t stop. I hate it.
Dr: All right. And how’s the fatigue?
Me: TERRIBLE. I’m tired all the time and I feel like everyone thinks they know why and they’re never right. I’ve been like this since 2006. And first it was Mono, and then it was Depression, and then it was my thyroid, and then it was Vitamin D, and I’m on medication for ALL of those things but I’m still exhausted. I’ve been exhausted, every day, for 5 years. That’s not right.
Dr: Well how do you mean exhausted?
Me: I mean, I’m tired all the time! If there’s no alarm clock or no phone goes off? I can sleep until 1, 2, 3 pm, and then go to bed at 10, and still sleep. Because I’m TIRED.
Dr: Sounds like you have depression.
Me: …. Are you kidding me? We know that. I’m on meds for that.
Dr: Let’s up them. Also, are you aware that being overweight can make you tired?
Me: …. What.
Dr: Obesity is an epidemic in this country.
Me: So… I’m tired… because I’m fat.
Dr: Also, I’m prescribing an antibiotic for your hidradenitis. Just to warn you, the increased Zoloft and the antibiotics will probably give you diarrhea.
Seriously. I give up. I’m never going to feel good.