I think I Brained my Damage....
Ok so I missed Anime Boston due to a migraine that ranked somewhere between please kill me now and stepping in front of a train. It is Monday - that migraine started at 4am on Friday morning and though I am feeling better - my brain is not. I may have some brain damage since right now normally I would be doing work - but instead, I am scraping by and trying to look alive, it is taking most of my effort.
I have a few things to say that you will get to read, since the following pertains to certain individuals but I'm lazy - so hopefully you read my journal and know what I'm talking about because I sure as hell don't.
LB - I miss you - really and true - I hope your ok and I miss you - everything just feels different when you are not around - and even when you were visiting I was trying not to get used to seeing you knowing that you would soon be gone again. Now I wish I had seen you more during that time, please just know I care.
DY - What the hell! - I miss you but I'm a little upset that you choose to ignore me. I guess I shouldn’t be mad because you have little way of getting in touch, but if I have to come and abduct you I WILL - otherwise I will get out two tin cans and a 1/2 mile of string so we can play telephone.
KT - I'm sorry - when I say "I'll call you back" please understand that means I am in no condition to talk on the phone and communication with me will resume at a later time. I am not a very good friend, but you must be since you don't hate me yet.
TC - I'm sorry - I know I've been ignoring you lately, I do not hate you - you are a very good friend, but life right now is sometimes more than I can handle and I hope you understand that I am going through a lot and don't have time like I used to to hang out or talk with you. Things will eventually go back to normal, but it may take some time.
AM - I love you - no matter what happens - I know, I am crazy but regardless - no matter what I'm here for you. Also - don't go thinking that your all grown up now - I am still older than you and can tell you what to do. So there. J/K
SM - YOU - I'm upset you left with little notice, but I am really glad that you are taking a step in the direction of a future. Please don't do something stupid and get kicked out - you can do this - just watch your back and keep your mouth shut. And I miss you - I am loosing my mind a little without having you to rant to.
CE - I accept your apology, but you are still a ways from making things right. It is a long road when you have wronged others to make amends - a phone call or personal appearance, instead of somewhat veiled posted apologies is a good start. Trust takes years to build and only moments to destroy.
EB - I respect you, and though you probably won't read this, I look up to you because you are doing something that I could barely contiplate at this point in my life.
J,R,&H - Don't ever change - I love you just the way you are.
JH - I don’t know where I would be without you - I am such a better person for having you in my life. You have proved to me that good people do exist. If you live to be one hundred and one, I want to live one day less so I'll never know the pain of not having you.
If I have not said something specifically to you - I will leave you with this. It is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's autobiography entitled "Fates worse than death" - he says this after discussing how our civilization is falling apart (typed in caps just as he did):
"WE PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAVED OURSELVES,
BUT WERE TOO DAMNED LAZY TO TRY VERY HARD.
We might well add this:
AND TOO DAMN CHEAP"
I have a few things to say that you will get to read, since the following pertains to certain individuals but I'm lazy - so hopefully you read my journal and know what I'm talking about because I sure as hell don't.
LB - I miss you - really and true - I hope your ok and I miss you - everything just feels different when you are not around - and even when you were visiting I was trying not to get used to seeing you knowing that you would soon be gone again. Now I wish I had seen you more during that time, please just know I care.
DY - What the hell! - I miss you but I'm a little upset that you choose to ignore me. I guess I shouldn’t be mad because you have little way of getting in touch, but if I have to come and abduct you I WILL - otherwise I will get out two tin cans and a 1/2 mile of string so we can play telephone.
KT - I'm sorry - when I say "I'll call you back" please understand that means I am in no condition to talk on the phone and communication with me will resume at a later time. I am not a very good friend, but you must be since you don't hate me yet.
TC - I'm sorry - I know I've been ignoring you lately, I do not hate you - you are a very good friend, but life right now is sometimes more than I can handle and I hope you understand that I am going through a lot and don't have time like I used to to hang out or talk with you. Things will eventually go back to normal, but it may take some time.
AM - I love you - no matter what happens - I know, I am crazy but regardless - no matter what I'm here for you. Also - don't go thinking that your all grown up now - I am still older than you and can tell you what to do. So there. J/K
SM - YOU - I'm upset you left with little notice, but I am really glad that you are taking a step in the direction of a future. Please don't do something stupid and get kicked out - you can do this - just watch your back and keep your mouth shut. And I miss you - I am loosing my mind a little without having you to rant to.
CE - I accept your apology, but you are still a ways from making things right. It is a long road when you have wronged others to make amends - a phone call or personal appearance, instead of somewhat veiled posted apologies is a good start. Trust takes years to build and only moments to destroy.
EB - I respect you, and though you probably won't read this, I look up to you because you are doing something that I could barely contiplate at this point in my life.
J,R,&H - Don't ever change - I love you just the way you are.
JH - I don’t know where I would be without you - I am such a better person for having you in my life. You have proved to me that good people do exist. If you live to be one hundred and one, I want to live one day less so I'll never know the pain of not having you.
If I have not said something specifically to you - I will leave you with this. It is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's autobiography entitled "Fates worse than death" - he says this after discussing how our civilization is falling apart (typed in caps just as he did):
"WE PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAVED OURSELVES,
BUT WERE TOO DAMNED LAZY TO TRY VERY HARD.
We might well add this:
AND TOO DAMN CHEAP"